Graduated, relocated, praised. A few months later I'm suddenly being accused of being rude and micromanaged. [MERGED] (employee, applying)

[sedonaverde]

I went back to school in my 30s to change careers. I graduated a tech college, did an internship, short term training at a crappy employer and after applying to a bunch of competitors, getting interviews, I decided to interview outside my home state and landed a 1 year contract position. I relocated at my expense and things were looking up in the first several months. The manager and my supervisor would praise me now and then for my courteous demeanor, smile, greet me...I passed the 6 month mark and started thinking that if this positive trend continues and the woman I was replacing decided not to return from her 1 year off, I could stand a chance at a permanent position.

I hadn't heard of anyone being fired from this job, they gave me a new schedule, things were looking up...until all a sudden this past month I've noticed a change. Before I go into the details, let me tell you a bit about what my job entails. I work in logistics/warehousing support and handle projects and orders from A to Z. I order parts, deal with sales, customer support, employees, suppliers - there's a fair bit of written and verbal communication. The management decided to hire someone younger than me after me and gave us joint projects on a rotating shift such that we had to do a lot of communication with each other by email, which wasn't always ideal as some things could be misunderstood, it's hard to read someone's tone, etc.

So as I mentioned above, I was praised by management for months but all of a sudden things changed.

Here's what happened:

1. An outside sales colleague who I never meet face to face and only communicate with by phone or email (which I prefer but he doesn't because he's older and old school), made a project way more complicated than it had to be, wasted my time asking for all these quotes and asking we do extra work for him for a custom solution and it peeved a few of my colleagues and I off. Then instead of accepting my teammates' and my solutions, he ended up complaining to my manager how I was uncooperative even though what he was asking did not follow our usual protocol.
2. Then in another incident, I had another outside colleague who sent me a list of parts to input into our system but there was duplicate and erroneous information which I pointed out. The communication was by email and management was copied on correspondence. At some point I must have come across as frustrated - I asked the support rep who normally deals with this outside guy if he's always like this, she confirmed yes, he's a difficult person. Well after failing to get through to him by email, I called, got no answer, prodded by email again (manager was copied the whole time, I must have gotten a bit frustrated, and finally found a solution. Turns out the manager read the exchange.
3. In a third incident, my teammate, with whom I share my workload, had a particularly busy 3 days when I was off and when I returned on the day we're both in the office, she had a bone to pick with me. She accused me of dropping the ball on a joint project when in fact I was super busy when I was working alone in the office on the weekend and she had no idea about this as she wasn't there. When I returned to the office, I had to catch up on a tons of emails, the teammate also dropped a last minute task on me that required my sudden attention, I had a training session scheduled, plus was fatigued so in no mood to hear the teammate's rants. What happened? Well the teammate tried to address her complaints to me that I left her overloaded, but she was interrupting my work and I was really busy, so I spoke with her briefly and then turned back to my workstation (he normally work back to back). I would later find out that she was offended by my gesture.
4. After incidents 1, 2, 3 described above happened, complaints were lodged to management about me and I was called into the manager's office because she felt the need to share "feedback" with me. Well it started out with what do I think of my workload and there's been some feedback, I want you to listen. I was tired that day, not in the mood for my manager blasting me about so called incidents that I felt were largely exaggerated (remember this is the same manager that praised me months ago) and I didn't know where she was coming from, except that maybe I did something to offend someone, make them uncomfortable and now management was lashing out.

In short, what I thought was a steady contract job could soon vanish The manager has decided that I "need" closer supervision due to a "pattern" of rude behavior. What BS. I have a solid record of polite emails, face to face interactions with some outside personnel that come by sometimes, the manager can ask them if needed and I even mentioned it, but she ignores it and just wants to focus on some isolated incidents. Her solution? She now wants me to copy her on every written interaction (email) I have with suppliers, clients and colleagues. You know what? When my fellow colleagues see me email them and copy the boss on the messages, guess what's going to happen? They'll wonder why I'm involving the manager and it will negatively affect our relationship. They will think I suddenly prefer formal communication and that the management has to know everything that's going on between us. The only way around this is by picking up the phone and verbal face to face communication.

The manager also suggested ways I should work faster, write less (unlike this thread, ha ha) and suggested I adjust my attitude to be more open to changes as apparently 2 colleagues had heard me ranting that our clients should have deadlines to follow until change requests are no longer accepted. She scolded me and said 2 colleagues heard me say some things she didn't expect of me. That she was sooo disappointed in my attitude. Bottom line, is this the beginning of the end? I can make adjustments, copy the manager on all emails as requested but won't it slow me down and make me feel like I'm on edge, that she can't trust me so she has to micromanage me?

I'm thinking I should be updating my resume, find a couple of references at my current employer and start applying to new jobs. What do you all think?

[Parnassia]

After reading all that my impression is that you are blaming your co-worker troubles on everyone else and not asking yourself what you might be doing to give other people the wrong impression. We all know that emails can be easily misunderstood because there is no "tone" to them. Something in the way you interact or express things to people is grating on them and they are telling others about it. Others who matter.

If a single person had said they were having problems working with you it could easily be due to that person. If multiple people at different levels of the organization are telling you you are difficult to work with or need better skills I'd pay closer attention. Not all of them are wrong. I think I would ask my supervisor or manager for some specific examples of the problems they are laying at your desk and ask how to avoid them in future. Listen to them, take the advice, the criticism, or the trainings, and be genuine about it. From the "tone" of your story it sounds as if you are building a pretty good chip on your shoulder and are condescending IMHO.

The problem will follow you from job to job if you don't dig into it and nip in in the bud. There will always be someone you have to work with that you don't like, there will always be times when you are too busy or tired to care about someone else, but you still have to learn how to manage it. You are not the only one who matters.

[Brookboy]

Well, you mention three separate incidents where your co-workers complained to the boss about your attitude. You may think or feel that you are being treated unfairly, but from your boss’s perspective, you are the problem.

If you aren’t getting along with another co-worker, that could be just bad chemistry. When you’re having trouble with two co-workers, you are already on thin ice. Make it three co-workers and your boss has to be thinking “I may as well get someone else. This person just isn’t working out.” The fact that she called you in to discuss this with you probably means she is starting to lay a paper trail to justify terminating you.

If you want to keep the job, I think you will need to do several things. If you don’t care about keeping the job, no need to read any further. I think you and that job will be parting company sooner rather than later. You might want to resign without ruffling any more feathers. You could tell your boss that you’ve thought about it and you’re no longer sure that you’re the right fit for the job. Tell her you are giving two weeks notice, but that you’ll stay on past that for a bit if she needs you. Be the hero.

I think that if you want to keep the job, you need first need to address the issues with your boss. You need to tell her something like this; “I’ve thought a lot about our last conversation, and I want to tell you that it was a wake-up call for me. I didn’t know that I was being perceived so poorly, and now that I do know, I’m gonna make it my business to become the solid employee you had for so many previous months. I sincerely hope that our next interview will be quite a bit more positive. In the meantime, I only ask that you give me the chance to show you.” Something along those lines. That probably will buy you some time.

Next, you need to mend fences with your co-workers, one by one, starting with your colleague with whom you share your tasks. You should ask each of them in turn if you can have a quiet word, then say something like this: “I’m sorry that my behavior made you unhappy enough to complain about it. I got my wake-up call from [the boss], and I just want to clear the air. I’m gonna try my best to avoid the earlier problems I may have caused, and I’d appreciate it if you could give me a kick in the rear if I start being a jerk again.” Or something like that.

Next you really do need to tone it down. You have to stop thinking that every request or every snafu at work is a conspiracy aimed at you. Try to lean back a little, look at the whole thing like your boss might. If you feel like you are being asked to do more than you can handle, just say “I’ll do my best.” And smile. If you need to, you can go to the boss (rarely - don’t make it a habit) and say, “I’m overloaded with X and Y right now. How would you like me to handle it?” If you have a bad day, don’t take it out on the other troops, and don’t go home and kick the cat (always wrong). Go get a beer after work, or take a bath, or listen to some music.

Work is a necessary evil in all our lives. We all have to come to terms with the fact that we all (well, most of us, anyway) need to get up earlier than we’d like, travel each day to a place we’d rather not go, deal with people we don’t much like, and do it for years. And years. There isn’t any trick to it other than figuring out how to deal with it so it doesn’t cause you all those sleepless nights. One trick that I have used over the years is to have my “work personality”, a blander, more sanitized and often cheerier me than my real self. When I go to work I take off my real personality, hang it up outside, put on on my “work personality”, and go in for as long as I have to be there. Then when I finish for the day, I do it all in reverse.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. In five years it’ll all be ancient history anyway.😁

[move4ward]

If everybody else has a problem, the problem is you. There's a lot of truth to that, as you grow older and learn to work with others.

[Tencent]

Everyone else is probably going to side with the employer. However, it is clear to me that your employer hires and keeps buffoons and you as the by-the-book high performer are an anomaly and that is why they contract this position. They need someone to scapegoat to upper management for a lack of cohesiveness. All 3 of the co-workers are dumping stuff on you and you're expected to handle it like a champ while they remain inaccessible at important times.

This is why I don't advise taking contract roles. They statistically never convert to FT and it's too easy to sh** on you because you're the cheapest to get rid of. I wouldn't be surprised if Management orchestrated this whole thing. You're about to be no longer needed so they are trying to get you to leave early on your own to save costs. Start looking outside and just finish up the contract period. Don't expect a positive reference from this place. The situation isn't salvageable.

These days when you work with buffoons on the job it's very risky to call them out. A lot of times Management will side with them instead of the (expensive) high performers. And then of course complain to MSNBC that they can't find high skilled qualified workers.

It's a setup. Don't buy their game. None of this is your fault. Especially when it comes on all at the same time. Clearly someone is pulling the strings here and this is a regular routine of theirs. Find out what the previous person went through.

[ocnjgirl]

I want to add to this, you’re a contractor so you’re not an equal footing with the other employees. I know that sounds unfair and I say that is someone who spent my entire career as a therapist in nursing facilities where we (the therapy dept) are all contractors. All sorts of unfair things have happened during this time. Someone every so often would make a complaint to the administrator rather than talk to me. The administrator wouldn’t even talk to me, he would call my supervisor (from the therapy company) and say “tell OCnjgirl to stop doing such and such.”’Every time, I know if he heard my side of the story he would side with me because they were ridiculously unfair things and not accurately portrayed. I would tell my supervisor what really happened but To the administrator I said nothing. And this was in a building I worked in for eight years.

They expect more out of contractors than employees you have to go the extra mile that’s just the way it is. But there must be something come across in your tone that sounds snarky or put-upon or all these people wouldn’t of said anything. Fair or not, as a contractor you say “Yes, Ma’am” and try to do what they are asking.

[snugglegirl05]

Originally Posted by move4ward

If everybody else has a problem, the problem is you. There's a lot of truth to that, as you grow older and learn to work with others.

This is true.

This phrase applies to an employee who is in a supervisory role at the grocery store I work at.

But he does not want to accept the fact that the problem is him.

[Grlzrl]

I don't agree that he is the problem. He sounds pretty professional to me and HUMAN. There are always difficult people in the workplace and sometimes you come in contact with all of them. But before I would come to the conclusion that it is the other people, I would need to hear their side of it, which obviously I can't.

[sedonaverde]

I wanted to add that there's an air of discontent in my department and I know of 3 full time employees, including my supervisor, who I've heard are looking for new jobs. My supervisor is actually the most vocal and I've witnessed him ranting about the manager, whispering to another colleague about her. Then there's a full timer who's gotten sick multiple times in the past 6+ months, has had to take some sick leave, is also micromanaged - but surprisingly despite the fact she calls out sick a lot, is still there. I don't have any health benefits and so if I'm sick, I either have to call out sick and be unpaid or come in sick and tough it out. Plus since that one colleague who complained about me to the boss shares projects/tasks with me is mostly off when I'm on duty, if I call in sick, it would mean that other employees who are not as familiar with the clients/work as the two of us are, would need to pitch in.

I mention this because I actually have been feeling under the weather the past 2 weeks and combined with a lack of sleep, it's affected my mood and productivity. The last time the manager called me into her office to give feedback which she said she loves to give, and then pulled out a list of so called grievances against me, I was tired, hungry and wasn't ready to answer her complaints...and oops, I did lose my cool. As the pressure mounted, I got upset and actually accused her of attacking me. She responded with, whooah sedona! with a surprised look on her face.


There may be some truth in that I may have been curt with that teammate who accused me (and tattled to the manager about it) of turning my back on her. The manager even claims that there was witness who saw me do that. Wow so I have colleagues who are watching my every move now and quoting my rants reporting them to the boss?

Anyway there was a recent incident where the younger teammate emailed me on her day off giving me directives, half of which were incorrect. I took issue with it because it was not her place to be directing me as we're on the same level, and especially not on her day off. I could've and actually did handle the tasks myself once my shift started. I mentioned it to the manager during our pow wow and the manager actually defended the colleague's actions in some sense. The manager asked me: but was it something important? To which I replied yes, but the teammate didn't have to email me on her day off, I had a handle on it. This is not the first time my teammate acts bossy with me and not the first time I complained to my superiors about it (I ranted within earshot of colleagues to my supervisor) and that may have been a mistake because one or more colleagues who are friends with the bossy woman may have taken exception with my rant and turned against me. There's even a senior employee who comes in sick regularly, has a vicious cough that disturbs everyone's concentration who "corrected" my attitude about the fact we should limit changes that our clients can request at the last minute, and I know she, along with my supervisor complained about me to the manager when I repeated the rant the other day. I would say there are a lot of backstabbers and disgruntled employees in that department. I should probably keep my mouth shut and tune out all the shouting and buffoonery that 2 other quiet employees and I noticed.


Then again, maybe I should send an anonymous email to my manager's boss tipping him off that at least 3 colleagues are looking for work and that maybe the manager's micromanaging is a contributing factor to the instability. The tattletale is taking a few weeks off next month and if a couple of employees were to suddenly leave, the management would have serious problems especially with the holiday season around the corner when orders and workload are expected to increase.

[Taffee72]

Keep all of your rants and complaints to yourself and start job searching. Focus your energy on doing your work and looking for a new place of employment.
This place sounds like too much drama and you're just a contractor.