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If it were me, though, I'd probably stay at a B&B in Montford, spend some time at the spa at the Grove Park Inn, and spend the rest of the time driving on the Blue Ridge Parkway and/or checking out the great restaurants, galleries, and beer options downtown.
I completely disagree that Boone would make a better trip. I do love Boone, but Asheville is awesome for all the reasons you mentioned in your original post. Whatever you end up deciding, I hope you have a wonderful anniversary!
Asheville has wonderful bed & breakfasts. That would be my choice.
If Asheville was as you heard described, I wouldn't have relocated from San Diego and moved here a year ago an bought a home in my retirement. By all means, come visit and enjoy. I agree staying in or near downtown will be most convenient and give the best flavor of the city. Aloft just opened on Biltmore Avenue and is said to have a great tapas bar. The Fine Arts Theatre is across the street, as is City Bakery. That puts you in good digs at the edge of city center. Hotel Indigo is another good call. A five minute drive from city center is the awesome, and expensive Grove Park Inn. That would be a very nice anniversary stay. Checkout brews Cruise and Lazoom Tours online. I am sixty years old and walk downtown at all hours without fear. Yes, there are occasional pan handlers and yes, we have people with substance abuse problems. What city doesn't? I've seen homeless people sleeping in urine reeking doorways across the street from five star hotels in SFO. I have yet to see anything like that here. Enjoy your anniversary, wherever it takes you. And congratulations!
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