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Interesting. In America I was brought up to always ask (not too personal) questions because people like talking about themselves (maybe only in america). My rule is: If I meet a Briton, I know to be polite and pleasant, but not too personable like I would be to an American. Not stiff, not aloof, but polite. Although I often can't help but ask where on the island they are from. It usually starts a good conversation on their home. I don't think that's too personal, is it?
I am from the north east of England, living in the south east and the people are totally different - I remember saying to a girl at work that I had been talking to a woman while standing in line for the checkout at the supermarket and she was horrified - you spoke to someone in a queue!!
In the north east this is common, you speak to anyone, at a bus stop, in a queue, at the pub etc.
I lived in Scotland for over 7 years and found the people very friendly and welcoming, very much like home. So it was a bit of a culture shock when we moved south. That's not to say we don't have friends or socialise, we do. Once you get past the initial reserve they aren't so bad.
But at home and in the south and in Scotland, I would never have asked anyone what they earned, even a fairly good friend. I would be quite surprised if anyone asked me. For most people in the UK it's quite a personal thing.
Is there any country where it is okay to ask someone's income??? Yikes! Not here for sure (USA).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphous01
I live in the states and I have had the pleasure to meet man and his family who were from England. They moved here about 5 years ago and they go back to visit England very regularly.
I have known this person for about 2 years off and on. To get to my question; I have noticed that they have a very cold personality's and that they only seem to be able to loosen up with a little alcohol.
Second issue I noticed is that they tend to be very private. In fact they seem to become a little hostile when I ask them a little more information
then I should; such as, "how much money did you make last year?"
Lastly, I just get the overall feeling that they are very dull and pale. Are most of the people in England like this?
I was raised knowing not to ask too personal of questions, especially when meeting someone new. I know it is rude and unacceptable to speak on religion, politics, income, etc. unless of course one of those topics is the reason for the meeting. I am certain I would not have asked your parents how they met as that is too personal even for me (at least for the first few meetings). However, it is difficult to know what is too personal for other people; there are many different cultures and customs in the world and everyone has their own ideas and expectations.
I believe the reason Americans are so open with our guests it that it is part of our culture. We ourselves do not like feeling like outsiders and therefore try to encourage others to "jump right in" so to say. Personal questions may seem rude, but they are also a sure fire way to quickly become close to and connect with new people. If we seem to speak on too personal of terms, it is not because we are trying to offend anyone, we just want our guests to be relaxed and perhaps not so guarded. If a question is too personal, our guests should feel free to side step the question and talk about something they are more comfortable with; we can take a hint and are usually not offended by this so long as the conversation continues. In general, we want our guests to feel comfortable and at ease; we want them to feel as if they are part of our own family and that they are always safe and welcome in our home.
In other countries, our manners might be considered rude, but in our own country, it is considered rude not to make that kind of effort for our guests. This is not to say that Americans do not like their privacy, it is just that we forfeit some of our own privacy for what we believe benefits our guests. Granted, not everyone agrees with this form of hospitality and that is perfectly acceptable; however, I would hope in the very least that visitors accept this as part of our culture and not our ignorance.
Anyway, I just thought I would share my opinion. I am sure not everyone will agree, however based on the way I was raised and the communities I have lived in, this is what I have observed and been taught.
Is there any country where it is okay to ask someone's income??? Yikes! Not here for sure (USA).
China, apparently. Before the Olympics, their government put out an etiquette guide for their citizens so they would not accidentially offend foreigners with culture shock. One of the tips was to not ask about someone's income.
After this past week's flurry of stock market and financial sector crashes, I believe it is safe to assume that many no longer have any income. Ergo, the question 'How much income do you make?' need not even be asked.
Last edited by Southside Shrek; 10-12-2008 at 09:09 AM..
Reason: clarity
Those I know , yes.
last winter eg we went on a bus tour in the Canary islands with "English only" middle aged couples...we didn't hear a sound, they laughed sometimes at the jokes of the tour guide, but it was in a very subdued manner.
Now don't get me wrong, I'd rather be with this kind of people than with boisterous, noisy , rude Italians, but funny No they are not even accounting for the second degree English sense of humour.
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). My rule is: If I meet a Briton, I know to be polite and pleasant, but not too personable like I would be to an American. Not stiff, not aloof, but polite. Although I often can't help but ask where on the island they are from. It usually starts a good conversation on their home. I don't think that's too personal, is it?
Income???
I was raised knowing not to ask too personal of questions, especially when meeting someone new. I know it is rude and unacceptable to speak on religion, politics, income, etc. unless of course one of those topics is the reason for the meeting. I am certain I would not have asked your parents how they met as that is too personal even for me (at least for the first few meetings). However, it is difficult to know what is too personal for other people; there are many different cultures and customs in the world and everyone has their own ideas and expectations. 
