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I come from old money, so my parents weren't pretentious. They just bought quality. But I didn't get what I wanted. I got what they wanted to give me. And they didn't flaunt their money nor would they ever allow me to do so.
A child throwing a tantrum to get what she wants is unacceptable. If my daughter did that I would make sure she didn't get it. Period. And being condescending to a retail worker or waitress wasn't acceptable to my parents and it is not acceptable to me. And they didn't live on plastic. In fact they have none. Every car they own was bought with cash.
I guess I'm trying to make the point that just because someone has money it doesn't mean they are spoiled. That's an enormous misconception.
My guess is Bethenny may be a good parent because she know this. Money and things are nothing. She already saw what throwing money at a child to shut them up does. When your child says "mama" for the first time and it sends you over the moon then you know she's on the right road.
Which is why I don't believe in "terrible two's". I cut it off as soon as it started LOL
Which is why I don't believe in "terrible two's". I cut it off as soon as it started LOL
I did, too. At home that didn't get the attention they were seeking and it quickly stopped. Outside the house, if they pulled that they were immediately removed from the situation. Works every time!
I come from old money, so my parents weren't pretentious. They just bought quality. But I didn't get what I wanted. I got what they wanted to give me. And they didn't flaunt their money nor would they ever allow me to do so.
A child throwing a tantrum to get what she wants is unacceptable. If my daughter did that I would make sure she didn't get it. Period. And being condescending to a retail worker or waitress wasn't acceptable to my parents and it is not acceptable to me. And they didn't live on plastic. In fact they have none. Every car they own was bought with cash.
I guess I'm trying to make the point that just because someone has money it doesn't mean they are spoiled. That's an enormous misconception.
My guess is Bethenny may be a good parent because she know this. Money and things are nothing. She already saw what throwing money at a child to shut them up does. When your child says "mama" for the first time and it sends you over the moon then you know she's on the right road.
Yes, you are very right, wealthy children are not necessarily spoiled. I know many lovely, kind, considerate, completely unspoiled children who had wealthy parents. The kids I was a nanny for while I was in college are great examples of that, and their parents are WEALTHY, they have serious money, although you would never know it just by meeting them, they are just great people who treat everyone with respect. Children become spoiled when a parent gives the child everything they want in any area of life, the kids can have input, but the parents should choose what actually happens, or is bought.
Which is why I don't believe in "terrible two's". I cut it off as soon as it started LOL
Quote:
Originally Posted by hiknapster
I did, too. At home that didn't get the attention they were seeking and it quickly stopped. Outside the house, if they pulled that they were immediately removed from the situation. Works every time!
Good for both of you! I hate to see a parent be controlled by their child, it always end up being bad for the child. Kids don't always have to like their parents, that's okay, they will love their parents more, and be better people from having a parent teach them the right way to act.
Good for both of you! I hate to see a parent be controlled by their child, it always end up being bad for the child. Kids don't always have to like their parents, that's okay, they will love their parents more, and be better people from having a parent teach them the right way to act.
So, so true. I will do anything for my child and that includes being responsible enough to set boundaries, otherwise I am not doing my job and I will raise a child that will become an adult that can't make their way in this world. I use to date a guy with as much money as me but he walked all over his parents. I had never seen anything like that. Honestly, his parents absolutely crippled him.
What children want is our love and boundaries. They are too young to set their own and look to us for guidance. Deep down they know they are too darn young to know what they are doing. My daughter comes to me about everything. Everything. She runs everything by me and obediently does what I tell her. And that's another key component; making sure the child will never be afraid to ask or tell you anything.
I hope I dont do that. Spoil my kids. I can definitely see myself falling into that trap.
First of all Im 36 and I am in the process of adopting a child, my first. As a single gay man, the path that led me to this point in my life was long and tumultuous. And I fear that I'll be showering my kids with 'stuff' as a way to overcompensate for there only being one parent or something like that.
Its more important to me that they are firmly planted in faith and that they develop a love of helping others. I want them to do the right thing when no one is looking. I want them to be kind and open to all kinds of people. I guess every parent wants these things.
Eventually I hope to have a total of four children. I dont know how I picked that number but it just feels like a good amount.
Anyway, sorry for the tangent.
Re: Bethenny
What really stands out t me is that she has a really great husband. He is very patient and loving. I also really feel for his parents. You can tell that they are also extremely patient and accomodating of Bethenny's very deep relationship issues which I think are really made known to us because she has her own show and we get a better look at her life. She is my favorite Bravo Housewife and her inlaws being so down-to-earth is exactly what she needed imHo.
Oh great, they showed Jillousy and Discountess in a flashback
LOL! I know. I was like "oh, did they have to spoil the moment?"
Oh and congratulations 18Montclair! I used to overcompensate with things because I'm a single mom and had a career travelling ALL THE TIME! My son stayed with my parents, so whenever I got back home it was off to Toys r Us, the water and amusment parks, and anything else he wanted. But then I started giving him an allowance in his piggy bank whenever he cleaned his toys, behaved in school, or did anything responsible for his age (he's 5). Doing something like this can help teach kids the value of things, and they'll acknowledge that it takes work and responsibility to truly appreciate the rewards you reap. I'm sure you'll be a great parent. Having a child is a joyous and rewarding experience .
Back to Bethenny: wonderful episode and very positive. So happy for Bethenny and her family.
Now. All I need is an idea........................
I hope I dont do that. Spoil my kids. I can definitely see myself falling into that trap.
First of all Im 36 and I am in the process of adopting a child, my first. As a single gay man, the path that led me to this point in my life was long and tumultuous. And I fear that I'll be showering my kids with 'stuff' as a way to overcompensate for there only being one parent or something like that.
Its more important to me that they are firmly planted in faith and that they develop a love of helping others. I want them to do the right thing when no one is looking. I want them to be kind and open to all kinds of people. I guess every parent wants these things.
Eventually I hope to have a total of four children. I dont know how I picked that number but it just feels like a good amount.
Anyway, sorry for the tangent.
Re: Bethenny
What really stands out t me is that she has a really great husband. He is very patient and loving. I also really feel for his parents. You can tell that they are also extremely patient and accomodating of Bethenny's very deep relationship issues which I think are really made known to us because she has her own show and we get a better look at her life. She is my favorite Bravo Housewife and her inlaws being so down-to-earth is exactly what she needed imHo.
Good luck on your adoption, you are doing a wonderful thing for a child. Just remember that kids need love and boundaries, not stuff, or getting their own way all the time. You don't have to "make up" for anything, just be the best parent you can be, and your kids will love you for it. As other parents have said on this thread, it's not important that your kids like you all the time, it's much better to give them limits, even when thy claim to hate you (and they probably will at times, but they will never mean it), and know that they will love you for helping them be great people. A good parent can't be afraid to be the bad guy sometimes, kids need limits, and as much as they might complain kids generally like the limits, it helps them feel safe and cared for.
There is no such thing as a perfect family, or the perfect way to raise children, anyone who says there is are either lying, or trying to push some agenda, all parents just do the best they can. Try to surround yourself with a good support system with family, friends, church, or whatever works for you, and don't be afraid to ask for help.
Last edited by detshen; 05-09-2011 at 11:32 PM..
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