Invisible at Thanksgiving (hubby, trouble, older, smart)
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Write the President of the country its a national attitude in the USA. We are too focused on good looks, letting hollywood, full of ental light weights, lecture us like they know something we dont. Same way with how a city looks, if it has pretty water views or mountains views most act like that is the place to be. Too many are slaves to beauty ignoring older society members and flat land not on the ocean.
Write the President of the country its a national attitude in the USA. We are too focused on good looks, letting hollywood, full of ental light weights, lecture us like they know something we dont. Same way with how a city looks, if it has pretty water views or mountains views most act like that is the place to be. Too many are slaves to beauty ignoring older society members and flat land not on the ocean.
What a crazy answer to OP who wouldn't seek out a server
Sorry you had such a frustrating time. A friend and I went to our local Senior Center and had a beautiful Thanksgiving meal for "whatever you can afford ($7 suggested)". The servers all looked about 50-60 and were friendly and efficient. No tipping allowed.
I'm sorry your experience was disappointing. While seniors, esp women, being ignored is a real occurrence, in this case, it's impossible to know whether it was age related or simply the business of the particular day.
My family ended up going out for Thanksgiving this year too. We went to a local Greek restaurant that has been around for decades, the chef is the co-owner. They offered a traditional turkey dinner and a few other options as well, but not nearly as many choices as on the full menu. And honestly, the food was excellent, better than their standard food. I think because they could focus more on these specific things, they did a better job (the food is generally good, but not amazing).
When we first sat down, our server was clearly a little frazzled and maybe even came across as a little grumpy. But as they started to clear out a bit (they only accepted reservations noon to 6 pm so the staff could get home themselves), and things quieted down, she got noticeably calmer and more friendly. I think it's just a very hard day, and servers are doing the best they can. And of course, if there is a problem, you do need to speak up, and not accept being ignored.
As a person who has watched family events and the "little Agism" that seems to happen right before our eyes, I can attest that your observation is NOT that far off the mark.
The elders get moved to corners or "out" of the Busy peoples way.
I'm sorry that you are having this Truth be known...its sincerely n unfortunate part of our being slowly kicked from social events so to speak.
No person ( adult) Should have to "Hunt" down the server. That is No where in the customer service booklet that the CLIENT/patron Needs to find them. Good lordy folks!
I waitressed and the rule of thumb was, within 3 minutes of the patron being seated...an introduction was to be made. From there it was touch base and re-fill or regard their "space".
Again OP- I would be discouraged too if my gathering was overlooked ...particularly since your money is as good as the next.
OT but... the only time I really feel totally invisible is when I and my gearhead buds drive our Corvettes in local parades. The parade chairperson always sits a cute 17-year-old 'Miss Apple Pie' on the rear decks of our cars. No one sees us old fogies. Not the young girl, not the parade crowds, not the judges, and certainly not the parade announcers. The most mention I ever received in a parade from the announcers was "Here comes the always beautiful 'Miss Apple Pie' on that yellow car. Isn't she gorgeous!" Hey, what about my cute Santa Cap, pure white beard, and my yellow Corvette which I spent 2 hours cleaning and waxing?
As others said "Bad Service" and I'd speak with the manager. I have had "Bad" moments with a few places (Most really care about how you feel) and I choose to go to them.
I also give places 2-3 tries to "Redeem" themselves after a bad one. except in one case. I hit an IHOP in Springfield, MO. The cooks were screwing up orders right and left. My order was colorado omelette with pancakes. I got half an omelette and no pancakes.
Asked the waitress for the manager, she didn't even say "May I help you?>" He came, I explained and he went back to the cooks and raised hell.
I went back 3 weeks later. Yep, just as bad. Got the manager, he took one look at me and said "Guess you'll not be coming back?" I said "Got that right"
I read this thread as containing two separate issues. One is, "How do you get your dinner when you think your waitperson is avoiding you?"
The other has more permanent life applications. And that's, "How do you think about what seems to have happened to you?"
Remember that when you are being overlooked it isn't the whole world that has discarded you. It's just one or two peoples' lopsided world view which has been skewed by their personal experience. In the end the problem is theirs and the loss is theirs.
The next one who comes along may be just as likely to be friendly and appreciative of their elders.
How you think about what you perceive to be a snub will make the difference between feeling okay or feeling miserable. Why serve yourself the most bitter perspective?
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