Could You Forgive Someone For Murdering A Loved One? (soul, Lord, eternal)

[nibseysgirl]

Originally Posted by MontanaGuy

I was really bothered by the case of the young eighteen year old woman who was abducted from a parking lot this week in Kansas and whose body was found a day or two ago. Even though I'm not religious I think I could forgive most mistakes that a human being might make, especially if they're genuinely sorry for what they've done. But I've got to say that I could never forgive a crime like this one and I'd want to see that man suffer. I remember a case in Spokane, Washington when they captured a serial killer and they were allowing family members of the victims to speak to the man who'd been convicted of the murders in court. One man got up and said that he'd forgiven him and was praying for him. That statement was very moving and the killer was very shaken by it. I hope this topic isn't too morbid but it's something that families have to deal with quite often in our violent society and it would certainly test the limits of any religious or non religious individual and their lives would never be the same. In my mind there is no conceivable way I could forgive the actions of a cold blooded killer. Does anyone have any thoughts about forgiveness in these kinds of circumstances?

Hi Montana Guy,
Funny(not haha) odd....I have a family member(former in law) who just commited a double murder of my (former) sister in law(40) and niece(9)His wife and daughter) and although he is not related to me anymore(by law) I am still very close to his mother and sister. I went back home(MA) to help my mother in law feel some farmilarity and know that I was there for her. I can honestly say(even though I only knew them briefly over the years) that I could forgive and the reason I say this is that as horrific a thing it is can you imagine what it is like(in this case especially and others that are similar in circumstances) what he must have to endure and live with for the rest of his life(he is 44) and the torment that he must be in at what he has taken, done and has to be always accountable for) I believe that if we as people do not forgive others (who are we to judge) then we have no right to be forgiven for anything sin we may cause or do(and who doesnt sin in this world...(any kind of sin) I have always been taught to forgive even if it hurts and just because we forgive doesnt mean we forget...That is for God to help our heart with...IMHO. Also if we hold onto resentments or judge others than how can we have a free heart and a loving heart. Love and HATE can not coexist....Good Luck...

[midnightbirdgirl]

Originally Posted by Alpha8207

All the time!

Now I have a song in my heart..thank you!!
MBG

[nibseysgirl]

Yes they sure do cause indescribable pain to those who loved and knew the victimes. They are people and no matter what the cirumstance people loved them and who they were. It is very hard to understand some things that human beings can do to one and other..There but for the GRACE of GOD go I. I pray for your brother in law and all that this loss has affected...Very tragic and very sad...Take Care and God Bles
Lisa

[nibseysgirl]

Originally Posted by Blueberry

Unfortunately, I've been there and done that.

My brother was murdered 20 years ago in his own home by a 16 year old that he had taken off the street and showed hospitality to. The 16 year old considered my brother a source of quick cash, and stole whatever items he could easily pawn. When my brother didn't show up for work, my mother received a phone call because my brother was very reliable. Deep down, we all feared what we would find at his apartment, so we had police meet us there. Police discovered the body and wouldn't let us in the apartment. I had nightmares for a week, knowing some crazy person was loose in the world; the nightmares stopped when the kid was apprehended.

Four months later, my mother suffered a stroke. She was 60 at the time. You can't convince me that her stroke was unrelated to my brother's death. My mother died three years later.

Seven years ago, I received a call out of the blue from an assistant DA informing me that this now young man who had killed my brother had killed his cellmate several years earlier, and the asst. DA asked if I would attend the penalty phase of his new trial (assuming he was found guilty). That phone call hit me harder than my brother's death. I grieved harder than I have ever grieved before! However, when my sister asked me "why us?" I replied, "Maybe because we're the only people praying for this man." This man is currently on Death Row, and I routinely pray for him. I've even thought about visiting him in prison the next time I'm in California.

Yes, by God's grace, it's possible to forgive. Believe it or not, it's not as hard as it sounds. I can say this because I have the God of peace, love, and forgiveness living within me; He provides the strength to love and forgive. He provides the comfort when I grieve. He allows righteous anger, yet guides my footsteps onto the path of forgiveness rather than vengeance, onto the path of love rather than hate. Furthermore, Jesus said that if we ourselves are forgiven, we should be willing to forgive others.

The choice is really pretty simple: either forgive and get on with your life, or let bitterness and anger destroy you from within. Many people I've met have been surprised to hear that my brother was murdered. They can't believe I'm emotionally balanced and am able to live a joyful life. I was told, unofficially, that the mother of the cellmate was having a very difficult time; I could completely understand this considering what my own mother went through. The DA's office briefly thought about putting her in touch with me since I appeared to have my act together and was not emotionally ruined by my own experience. They thought I could probably help her through her grief. (Yes, the DA's office had heard me cry, but the people were able to read my inner peace in our many conversations.) Apparently, most people take the path of bitterness and anger and live unproductive, if not destroyed, lives. These people, in turn, affect those close to them and their loved ones often have the same kind of sad life. When this happens, the murderer has taken more than one life; he has managed to destroy everyone who can't find peace and forgiveness. I don't believe anyone will have true peace until they find the power to forgive.

Blueberry,
Powerful testimony. Thank you for sharing your very personal story with us and for your words of reflection and Gods grace.
My condolences to you and yours. With Christ in your heart thankfully you know that your loved one is loved and the LORD is with him. And you will see him again. I thank you for your words of enlightenment and for your courage.
Lisa

[citybythebay]

As most know of the recent disappearance of Jessie Davis. The pregnant woman missing from Ohio, and she was just found dead on Saturday.
Her boyfriend, the father of her little boy and unborn baby confessed to killing her.
I practically rubbed shoulders with this person during the first day search.
And to now think that he was the one that did it???

I know things like this (senseless murders) happen everyday...but when something like this hits very close to home it has a whole different meaning to it.

Words cannot express how I feel about this. I helped with the search. I felt I had to and I wanted to help in some way. I met the girls father and having lost my own dad several years ago I don't know how my dad would have handled it if it were me.

This was a daughter, sister, niece, mother, friend to many. It just hits so very hard that she was found dead.

I've never helped with a search for a missing person and I can't explain how I feel right now. The sadness is beyond what I expected.
And of course as I am learning through all this there will be the story tellers and bitter, negative people out there with their comments. All I can do is pray for them as well.

I totally can't sleep....and my friends that helped with this too all feel the same.

Thank you for reading this....

[Mooseketeer]

NO. Never.

[KewGee]

I don't know if I could although I know as a Christian, I'm supposed to do so. I would surely need much strength from the Lord to get through such a terrible thing and hope He never sends such a trial my way. I would be ever so angry and want to retaliate because I'm sure I would lose my mind.

I can only imagine the pain one would feel who has lost a loved one this way. My heart goes out to any who have been through such a time.

[Jazzedforhim]

The worst would be if it was my kid...that is where I see **RED** just imagining someone harming them. God would have to give me strength...or just restrain me!

[southernlady5464]

I just posted about my stepmom over here so I won't repeat it here: https://www.city-data.com/forum/relig...immoral-4.html

However, here I will add that at the very first when Cathy heard the verdict she was very upset that they had not received the death penalty. However, the prosecutor explained to her that it really was better for her and her family that they receive life sentences without possibilities of parole.

With the death penalty, an appeal is automatic and dragging the case thru court and going thru it all again is automatic. Life does not mean that is automatic, especially if the death penalty is still on the table as a possible sentence. They're getting life gives her and her children a chance to get on with their life.

She said later that while she will NEVER forget, she has learned to forgive. She learned to forgive because she knew that if she didn't, they would control her the rest of her life. And she didn't want them to have that power over her. Liz

[GregW]

If someone killed someone I loved I know I would not forgive him or her and would be very frustrated if I could not get personal revenge. I am not a forgiving person.