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I am truly sorry for those of you who have suffered such terrible losses. I didn't really expect these responses when I started the thread and I almost wish I hadn't done it. It really makes me sick when our legal system fails us like it apparently did in kaykay's situation when the guy plea bargained and got off with a light sentence. My Mother's best friend growing up was murdered by her boyfriend and I remember this event as a young boy. The man who killed her only spent a few short years in prison and he was released. Not long after he was released he moved down to Nevada and killed someone else and was killed by police in the incident. This type of thing is very common and I feel very strongly that our justice system is not doing its job. It's bad enough that the victim's family members have to suffer the loss of a loved one but it's much worse when there is no just punishment and the killer is set free to kill again. Again, I'm very sorry for the pain that people who've posted on this thread have suffered but I thank you for sharing your thoughts and expressing yourselves on such a personal issue.
Thanks, MG. In the case of my father's killer, yes, I thought 10 years was a little bit light for murder. But that's what happens with a plea bargain. Our justice system is far from perfect to say the least, but I guess if we want a system that balances invidual rights with the rights of society, we sometimes have to compromise and deal with inequities IMO. Sometimes the prosecution has to accept a light sentence to get the conviction at all. As I said initially, my father's killer was in prison anyway for other charges by the time he was charged with my father's death. I don't know exactly how to say it except that this man's life was such a mess that short of a miracle of God, I didn't really have fears that he was going to be imminently released from prison too quickly. At any rate, as Blueberry and others have said, we do need to release any anger and bitterness and try to move forward not just because it's right but because it could just eat you up inside if you decided to "live" there.
My hope is that all who have had these terrible tragedies in their lives , is that just sharing has eased broken hearts a little..I have not had to deal with this kind of tragedy, and hope I never do, but I do feel everyones pain. There are believers and non believers here and for the moment are all on the wave lengh. We are mostly compassionate ,caring people, no matter where it came from
I can say I came very close to having to go through that, and I thank God that it didnt happen, my sister and mom were held at gun point in their home for 2 hours by a guy who my sister at one time dated, he flipped out. He ran from the authorities and 2 days later abducted my sister, she was able to get away from him and we pressed charges to the full extent we could. She is alive today the mother of a 2 year old and one on the way.
I am a christian and we are taught to forgive and all of that but that time in our lives I seriously struggled with some hate and other issues, that if that man had been put in my path, I can honestly say I am not sure that I could have controlled myself given the state of mind that I was in when my loved ones were threatened. Time works and God works on our hearts, to those that have been through this I can't pretend to tell you that I felt the same way but I can tell you that during that time in my life I was praying alot just holding on to Christ in my life and praying for my heart and for His help in dealing with my own anger etc.
I understand what we're supposed to do...forgiving each other....but my honest gut reaction is that if my wife or kids were killed intentionally, I couldn't forgive that person. I'd want to, may even feel wretched for not being able to, but it wouldn't change the fact that I would struggle every day not to be consumed by vengeance.
This is a heavy topic, but one I am all too familiar with. My 19-year-old son and only child was murdered 5 years ago while in college. He was living 6 hours from home and making straight A's....was being considered as Valedictorian of his graduating class....had earned a much-coveted spot as an intern with George Lucas Productions at Skywalker Ranch...the world was at his feet. He was my best friend and my whole world. There were over 1,000 people at the funeral home for the visitation and at our church for the funeral....one of his college friends said when she spoke, "He owned every room he walked into; everyone wanted to be his friend and every girl wanted to be his girlfriend." One night, April 29, 2002 two masked gunmen entered his off-campus apartment (thinking no one was home and the only reason my son was home was because he had a fever and strep throat and was trying to sleep it off) to rob it. Well, my son got up, confronted them and they shot him, after which they ran off without taking anything. He had time to call 911 before lapsing into unconsciousness from loss of blood...friends/neighbors who heard the shots rushed in to be with him and I'm just glad he wasn't alone when he died. It was so senseless....so meaningless.... I was in a state of shock, disbelief, denial, anger, and overwhelming grief for the next 6 months pretty much. With the help of my large family, many friends, pastor, support group, and most of all my Lord - I was able to survive the most horrible, tragic thing that a parent can go through. The second 6 months were a little easier, but not much....the first year anniversary sent me into a flashback of when I first found out, the second year was filled with more anger and a lot of "Why's?" and so on. Each year is different...my life is so different now. The Lord has helped me to find ways to cope and ways to help others in their grief.
Now to the original thread (I had to explain where I am coming from): I have been able to forgive my son's killers. It came to me while sitting on my porch one summer night 2 years ago. I was crying about the unfairness of it all and wondering what my precious son would be doing with his life now (his friends were all graduating from college, starting careers, and getting married)....when all the wind chimes on my porch starting clanging together from a sudden wind gust (surrounding trees weren't moving!). I got a chill and asked what was going on. I swear that I heard the word "Forgive" in the wind! I don't know how to explain it, but I suddenly felt very peaceful and calm and I asked the Lord how I could possibly forgive these monsters for taking my baby boy? But it just came over me in an instant: I could forgive them if Jesus could forgive those who tortured and murdered him. From that moment on, I have had a peace of heart and an inner sense of tranquility that I hadn't felt in 3 years. My son's killers have not been caught and I don't know if they will (the detectives seem to think that they WILL get them going on the leads and evidence they have) but I know that they are not for me to judge....that can only be done by the Lord.
There, you have my 2 cents worth - spoken from a mother who has chosen to forgive those who took the person I loved most in this world. (I won't fight their sentencing, however....I will leave this up to the judicial system and to God).
There, you have my 2 cents worth - spoken from a mother who has chosen to forgive those who took the person I loved most in this world. (I won't fight their sentencing, however....I will leave this up to the judicial system and to God).
That's not 2 cents worth, SCBeaches.
That's a fortune worth of insight there. Wow.
I'm about as speechless as I get!
God bless you.
Justice will be served. I'm so thankful to God for a testimony like yours. You raise the bar for every believer that reads that post.
This is a heavy topic, but one I am all too familiar with. My 19-year-old son and only child was murdered 5 years ago while in college. He was living 6 hours from home and making straight A's....was being considered as Valedictorian of his graduating class....had earned a much-coveted spot as an intern with George Lucas Productions at Skywalker Ranch...the world was at his feet. He was my best friend and my whole world. There were over 1,000 people at the funeral home for the visitation and at our church for the funeral....one of his college friends said when she spoke, "He owned every room he walked into; everyone wanted to be his friend and every girl wanted to be his girlfriend." One night, April 29, 2002 two masked gunmen entered his off-campus apartment (thinking no one was home and the only reason my son was home was because he had a fever and strep throat and was trying to sleep it off) to rob it. Well, my son got up, confronted them and they shot him, after which they ran off without taking anything. He had time to call 911 before lapsing into unconsciousness from loss of blood...friends/neighbors who heard the shots rushed in to be with him and I'm just glad he wasn't alone when he died. It was so senseless....so meaningless.... I was in a state of shock, disbelief, denial, anger, and overwhelming grief for the next 6 months pretty much. With the help of my large family, many friends, pastor, support group, and most of all my Lord - I was able to survive the most horrible, tragic thing that a parent can go through. The second 6 months were a little easier, but not much....the first year anniversary sent me into a flashback of when I first found out, the second year was filled with more anger and a lot of "Why's?" and so on. Each year is different...my life is so different now. The Lord has helped me to find ways to cope and ways to help others in their grief.
Now to the original thread (I had to explain where I am coming from): I have been able to forgive my son's killers. It came to me while sitting on my porch one summer night 2 years ago. I was crying about the unfairness of it all and wondering what my precious son would be doing with his life now (his friends were all graduating from college, starting careers, and getting married)....when all the wind chimes on my porch starting clanging together from a sudden wind gust (surrounding trees weren't moving!). I got a chill and asked what was going on. I swear that I heard the word "Forgive" in the wind! I don't know how to explain it, but I suddenly felt very peaceful and calm and I asked the Lord how I could possibly forgive these monsters for taking my baby boy? But it just came over me in an instant: I could forgive them if Jesus could forgive those who tortured and murdered him. From that moment on, I have had a peace of heart and an inner sense of tranquility that I hadn't felt in 3 years. My son's killers have not been caught and I don't know if they will (the detectives seem to think that they WILL get them going on the leads and evidence they have) but I know that they are not for me to judge....that can only be done by the Lord.
There, you have my 2 cents worth - spoken from a mother who has chosen to forgive those who took the person I loved most in this world. (I won't fight their sentencing, however....I will leave this up to the judicial system and to God).
Wow. Like Alpha said the word that comes to my mind is speechless. I have lost a father to murder and I have lost my only son in an accident. While I was able to forgive my father's killer, I have sometimes wondered if I could have if it had been my son Aaron. The pain was so great to just lose him in general, I have wondered if I could ever forgive if someone had intentionally taken his life. It seems impossible. It's almost unimaginable. Your story just shows that I suppose the Lord can give you grace even for this. Your grace and attitude is to be commended. Blessings and peace to you and my prayers are with you.
I'm glad to share my testimony anytime I get a chance. If it helps someone else, then it has served its purpose. I feel my purpose is being served each and every day as I try to show others what a Christian does in the darkest of times....we lift our heads up and look to the Lord for guidance, then try to do His work here on Earth. Two of the teachers at the school where I teach started taking their families to church again because of how I was able to handle my son's death...and I attribute this all to my faith and God's grace!
I probably would have crumbled and may even have decided that life wasn't worth living anymore if it hadn't been for my (and my son's) salvation. I KNOW that I will see him again and that we will then be together for eternity.
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Almost was there,
