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We were living in this house, and she told me I needed to get my butt down to the courthouse so we could get married.
Hahahaha! Good stuff mate.
Oooh ok, I thought she did the whole researching for an elegant fancy restaurant or that magical place outdoors and prepared the whole event. Did some research on what ring to get you and the whole 3+ month average salary thing on your ring, speeches, etc. You know, all that traditional stuff.
But "YOU" should want to ask your girlfriends hand in marriage from her father. "YOU" should want to go looking for the ring. "YOU" should want to plan a romantic way to propose... If you want all that done I dont consider that manly and honestly I dont think most women would either. If they do consider it manly then frankly they need a feminine man like yourself...
Why, other than the fact that society demands it, should I want to do those things? By the way, you may not know this considering how uber-conservative you sound, but here in 2010 a lot of women don't want to be "given away" by their fathers. Believe it or not, grown women possess the same mental facilities that men do and they're more than capable of making those decisions for themselves.
Oh yes, and I'm a feminine man because... I have the audacity to suggest that individuals reject gender roles and instead conduct their relationship in a way that they're most comfortable with?
What an incredibly healthy outlook you have.
Incidentally, how does it feel to have a Deep South circa 1867-mindset on gender here in 2010?
But "YOU" should want to ask your girlfriends hand in marriage from her father.
"YOU" should want to go looking for the ring.
"YOU" should want to plan a romantic way to propose...
Yes, all that and more is expected/demanded from men, the very minimal small minority of women MIGHT consider daring themselves to do ALL THAT, which, is quite a lot for a woman to do also considering how it goes against what people are used to seeing.
As for asking her hand in marriage. Sure, it makes sense for me to meet with both families in celebration and deliver the speech asking for my girl's hand. Give them peace of mind that I have the means to put a roof on top of her head, put food on the table, provide her, protect her, etc. Because her family wants to know that I am the right one, right? Well, a guy has a family too. Doesn't his family care who he will spend the rest of his life with? I have relatives who did care for their son and questioned his girl often just like it is accostumed for family to do with their daughter's guy. I would be proud to hear my girl delivering the speech to my family as well telling them she will ALSO blah blah blah, the whole speech to let them know I AM ALSO in good hands. It totally makes sense to me since TWO PEOPLE are getting married, not just the woman.
I should go looking for the ring, sure! It would be fun to look around while thinking "Wow! I can imagine the look on her face when she see's me putting it on her finger". But, I am also getting married and commited, why is it that I am punished or whatever to not be proposed AS WELL with a ring she did her research as well and all. It is me and her who are getting married, me and her who are commiting ourselves to each other, why is it that I don't get proposed AS WELL with ring and all? Same thing with the romance.
See, I am not talking here that women should do all this and men just sit there. No no no, I am talking about women and men offering all this to each other. That's just my preference. All those beautiful experiences only women have the priviledge to enjoy, I would like to know how it feels to go through them as well .
Quote:
If they do consider it manly then frankly they need a feminine man like yourself...
Don't see how that could threaten my masculinity or her feminity, whatever is called. It's just both of us showing appreciation to each other and all that good stuff.
Why, other than the fact that society demands it, should I want to do those things?
Incidentally, how does it feel to have a Deep South circa 1867-mindset on gender here in 2010?
Some things are just instinctive... And only to gender. Asking a woman to marry you should be one of those things. D
oesn't sound like you can understand. Let's agree to disagree... you keep on being progressive... if thinking men should propose is conservative then I'll keep on being that way.
No. I'm old school. Here's my thinking...usually when it comes to marriage men are more committment phobic so when he asks you it is a better committment on his part. Plus I hear a lot of marriage that go bad and the dude always throws up in the woman's face how she asked him to marry her AS if to say I wasn't even trying to get married.
But, I am also getting married and commited, why is it that I am punished or whatever to not be proposed AS WELL with a ring she did her research as well and all.
onihC -- I've heard you make this comment before. I just want to point out that it is traditional for the woman to buy her fiance's wedding band. I bought a ring for my fiance. Actually, I've bought him four rings now because he keeps losing them.
Last edited by boodhabunny; 07-10-2010 at 12:20 AM..
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