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The whole idea is ridiculous; cheating with out sex?
And why does it seem like it's mostly women who believe these things exist?
Tell me, what's wrong with having friends of the opposite sex while you're dating someone?
Is a man supposed to habitually ignore ever other 2,999,999,999 women in the world just because he's with 1?
Tell me ladies; did you ever think that maybe it's GOOD that he doesn't reveal every waking thought and musing to you?
Did you ever think that while we're with you, we may be insecure about ourselves around you; that we're afraid to reveal some of our secrets because we're afraid you'll judge us? What's wrong with getting emotional support from another women?
I'm convinced that "emotional affairs" are the delusions of paranoid and manipulative women who just want to scare their men away from having normal, healthy platonic female friendships.
If there is such a thing as an "emotional affair;" that it's wrong to be close friends with other women while we're dating someone, then I've "cheated" on every girlfriend I've ever had!
What if they didn't have intercourse? What if they just kissed or had phone sex? As long as there are no babies or STD's, it would be fine? It wouldn't be cheating?
If you are perfectly fine with your SO engaging in inappropriate discussion and behavior with an ex behind your back, so be it. It is not just a simple friendship; it is a betrayal. Enjoy.
Last edited by PassTheChocolate; 12-02-2009 at 02:10 AM..
it could be argued that if you take something from someone else, that you should be taking from your partner, then that could be classed as an emotional affair.
however, that description would also fit a "best friend".
i think it depends on what kind of love there is for the other person.
i'm undecided at this stage, but curious to see where the thread goes.
I guess I'm insecure, over-emotional, and a manipulative spouse then.
I had a boyfriend back in college who had a best friend and she was a girl. I really enjoyed her, I would have picked her to be a best friend too, she was wonderful. However, he "got" something from his relationship with her that he didn't find in ours. That's fine, until he began hanging out with her more than me, talked more with her over the phone than he ever called me, and it just seemed to me he had more fun with her.
He told me it was just a different sort of relationship. It was as if, I got the sex and comfort of companionship, and he got to have these long intelligent conversations about life, sex, and the world with her. These were the things I desired with my own SO. Ya who's not going to feel short changed here?
The reason its termed "Affair" , emotional affair, is because it causes discord and disharmony in the relationship. Not to him of course, but to HER. If she is feeling uneven here...out of balance....well you go ahead and call it insecure.
I call it "leaving me left out of this wonderful relationship". He used up all his energy with her, all be it emotional or otherwise, and I felt like the "left over" or just the physical portion of his life. Of course it was more than that, but that's how it left me feeling. Engaging in a deep conversation with him was reserved for her, so I left them at it.
Yes , to each their own , dearheart.
IMO any behavior that diverts your emotions from your SO is cheating. Keep this 'emotional affair' going and in the blink of an eye , it will become physical. At this point , nothing will ever be the same.
ever.
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