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Relationship?
Is that a weird thing to say when you don't really know each other that well? I don't want to scare him off but I'd rather tell him what's going on before he insists on pursuing this any further.
At this stage in the relationship you don't owe him an explanation, although one is generally appreciated. All you really need to say, however, is that you are simply not interested in pursuing this any further.
Relationship?
Is that a weird thing to say when you don't really know each other that well? I don't want to scare him off but I'd rather tell him what's going on before he insists on pursuing this any further.
In my experience, people who say that are almost always lying. Truth is, they're just not into you, but are too chicken to say so. Sure, people sometimes carry emotional baggage. But if someone like you--I mean really like you--they'll take a chance anyway.
Is there any reason why you can't just be social but not in an official dating capacity?
Do you have mutual friends that you can meet up with (in separate vehicles) to visit and chat in a group setting?
If he is someone you want to spend some time with why not invite him to go for a walk in the park (take your dog if you have one), meet at the museum, art gallery, things like that. Out in public and not a more intimate setting, then you can slowly get to know each other in neutral territory.
In my experience, people who say that are almost always lying. Truth is, they're just not into you, but are too chicken to say so. Sure, people sometimes carry emotional baggage. But if someone like you--I mean really like you--they'll take a chance anyway.
Your experience is limited. You will never really know how someone else feels.
I've told someone that I need time before because I wanted to make sure I was in the right place to start. I really liked him but it never got off the ground for other reasons. I would never be so stupid to walk into a relationship knowing that possible "baggage" is sitting in my lap.
At this stage in the relationship you don't owe him an explanation, although one is generally appreciated. All you really need to say, however, is that you are simply not interested in pursuing this any further.
Well, problem is I kind of like him. I'm not sure he'll hang around if I tell him what the deal is with me. He does seem serious.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy
In my experience, people who say that are almost always lying. Truth is, they're just not into you, but are too chicken to say so. Sure, people sometimes carry emotional baggage. But if someone like you--I mean really like you--they'll take a chance anyway.
um,, it's the other way around.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
Is there any reason why you can't just be social but not in an official dating capacity?
Do you have mutual friends that you can meet up with (in separate vehicles) to visit and chat in a group setting?
If he is someone you want to spend some time with why not invite him to go for a walk in the park (take your dog if you have one), meet at the museum, art gallery, things like that. Out in public and not a more intimate setting, then you can slowly get to know each other in neutral territory.
Well, I agree to getting to know each other, but this will eventually lead to something more serious that I can't handle at this time and I'll probably mess it up before we even get started.
Well, problem is I kind of like him. I'm not sure he'll hang around if I tell him what the deal is with me. He does seem serious.
um,, it's the other way around.
Well, I agree to getting to know each other, but this will eventually lead to something more serious that I can't handle at this time and I'll probably mess it up before we even get started.
It does not have to lead to anything beyond being friends and it is your choice to move at your own pace.
He either accepts it and moves at your pace or he moves on.
OP, if it's the truth, I'd say it's not only okay, but the right thing to do. If you are not ready to date (regardless of the reason) then you are not ready to date. At the same time, if the guy in question is ready to date and chooses to move on, that is a decision you should respect.
Tell him straight up. Tell him, "I think you're great, but I just got out of a rough relationship. I need to sort some things out in my head, so I need some time to myself. I hope you understand."
I wish more people were straightforward and honest.
What you're basically saying is that you're interested in a future relationship with him. If you are, great. But if you just want him to go away and stay away, don't give him false hope like that.
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