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I've seen these things contested years after they are finalized. If he couldn't reverse the adoption due to timeliness, then there must be more to this.
Nope. Nothing more.
She lived in another state with the boy and fought visitation every time we tried. Dh, finally, gave up because fighting across state lines was just too expensive. A couple of years later, her husband adopted him without telling dh. When he found out, he tried to have it reversed but was told he was out of time.
We had custody of the other two sons (the ones she didn't want). I wanted to adopt them but she wouldn't answer the request. We learned later that she had lied to her second husband and told him that the child she had custody of was her only child when she had left two others behind. I'm sure she burned the papers when they came.
I agree that the child is a victim in this however don't continue to make the man the victim by forcing him to continue being defrauded by the Mother.
I think the woman should be charged with fraud and some serious questioning should go into if she is a good enough parent to continue raising a child.
What kind of Parent sleeps around so there is a question about who is the Father of the child, then LIES for financial gain to a man in order to harness him for 18 years of child support when she either knows its possible he is not the Father or knows for sure.
What kind of damage is that doing to her child? The child has the right to know its REAL Father and that REAL Father should be paying child support.
As I said, one victim is an adult and can suck it up. The other is a child and can't.
Honestly, I don't get the objection. I would think that after raising a child for a time you'd become attached and actually want to take care of them.
I'm sorry, Ivory, but that makes very little sense to me. It is, in any case, off-topic, but if you want to continue the adoption discussion via DM, I would be glad to.
I'm not blaming the victim. I'm protecting the child. There are two victims here. One is an adult and can suck it up. The other is a child and can't.
Wow. The gall of some people.
You hear that ladies, just suck it up when you're lied to and cheated on! Be a big girl and turn the other cheek, yea, that's the ticket.
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Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren
What kind of Parent sleeps around so there is a question about who is the Father of the child, then LIES for financial gain to a man in order to harness him for 18 years of child support when she either knows its possible he is not the Father or knows for sure.
What kind of damage is that doing to her child? The child has the right to know its REAL Father and that REAL Father should be paying child support.
Exactly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler
As I said, one victim is an adult and can suck it up.
Sorry, but in the real world criminals are punished for their crimes and victims are compensated for their losses. This "suck it up" bull**** is just feminist shaming language of the worst kind.
I don't know whether to be amused or sorry for you that you cannot see the truth when it is staring you right in the face.
Hi JustJulia,
Unfortunately he is correct. That is a straw man argument. You are also constructing a fallacy of division. You are asserting what is true of the whole straw man you have constructed is also true of its parts.
You are suggesting that DNA testing is required for a massive database of DNA profiles. This is true and its bad. However the database is bad, not the DNA test. Its comparable to a missive database of fingerprints. The common theme is the intrusive database not a discrete verification. A blood test is reasonable. Uploading the results is not.
We cannot even initiate a discussion of the topic with these rhetorical flaws. In this case there are two of them.
You hear that ladies, just suck it up when you're lied to and cheated on! Be a big girl and turn the other cheek, yea, that's the ticket.
Do you not even care about the child? I'm baffled as to how you can raise a child as if it's your own and then feel no responsibility to that child because of a DNA test. I can't wrap my brain around this.
If I found out today that my daughter was switched at birth, I would not stop loving her and I would not stop feeling responsible for her. I would not stop being her mother. Fortunately, the law would honor my legal right to be her mother.
Maybe, maybe not. Depends on whether the switch was intentional. Not quite the same with the mother because she may not realize the other man is the father.
I don't understand the point of this statement. Is she mentally ill? How can any woman be confused about the fact that having sex with two men during a similar time period could result in one or the other being the father. This would also lend to an argument of her incompetence, but I really don't think people are that stupid.
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As to the child, I would hope the man doesn't stop loving him because of a DNA test. I would not stop loving my children if it turned out I am not their mother. They'd still be my children. I'd still send them to college. I'd just have another one to send to college if the other parents can't afford to send her.
Any man that lives with a child and decides to break ties for whatever reason obviously didn't have a bond to begin with. I've seen it in my own family. My father has/had three children. He raised my brother and me since we were babies until the divorce. He remarried as a much older man, his wife wanted a child so they adopted a 3 year old. The child bonded with the mom and not with the dad, which was partly due to a turbulent marriage. He's in contact with his adopted son, but he's in no way a dad to him. The mother, OTOH, completely different story. I've also dated a man that had a bio-child, paid his monthly child support, but he was no dad to her. People have kids all the time and don't bond. I don't think it's that uncommon.
Do you not even care about the child? I'm baffled as to how you can raise a child as if it's your own and then feel no responsibility to that child because of a DNA test. I can't wrap my brain around this.
I'm not surprised you can't understand it. As many others have already stated, it's in the best interest of the child to know who the real father is. It's in EVERYONE's best interested that the right man raise the child, even if the woman doesn't want that to happen. To those women all I have to say is boo-freaking-hoo, so sad too bad, should have thought about that before spreading your legs.
The entire argument of raising a kid and then later finding out it's not yours and whether or not the father wants anything to do with it is immaterial. IT SHOULD NEVER COME TO THAT. Mandatory testing at birth ensures that it doesn't, which is the entire point of this thread.
I'm not surprised you can't understand it. As many others have already stated, it's in the best interest of the child to know who the real father is. It's in EVERYONE's best interested that the right man raise the child, even if the woman doesn't want that to happen. To those women all I have to say is boo-freaking-hoo, so sad too bad, should have thought about that before spreading your legs.
This coming from a man obsessed with developing tools to pry those legs open. You're so full of it I can smell the stink all the way up here.
Quote:
The entire argument of raising a kid and then later finding out it's not yours and whether or not the father wants anything to do with it is immaterial. IT SHOULD NEVER COME TO THAT. Mandatory testing at birth ensures that it doesn't, which is the entire point of this thread.
Bull sh*t. You're exactly the kind of man that would end up with a woman like that to begin with. Don't drag me and my fine husband into the cr*p you create.
The way the system is set up now women are REWARDED for being w h o r e s and thieves. It has to stop and this proposal, paternity testing at birth is one way to do it.
In my opinion, w h o r e s and thieves should NOT be raising children.
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