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The flip side of this is a man who has loved and raised a child could lose that child because he's not the bio dad. It would, definitely, create a problem in the case of adoptive parents who divorce. Who would get the kids when neither parent is a biological parent?
Well, in the case of an adoption, the kid is treated as a biological child of both parents would -- because they are legal parents. I was addressing a poster who categorically stated that a man should never be responsible for a child that's not biologically his -- ignoring, of course, all the many kinds of situations in which he should be.
Which only illustrates the danger of calling for laws that impose blanket requirements and categorizations. Treat everyone as a presumptive criminal! Test every infant's paternity! Adultery should be the only ground for divorce! And then, of course, when you start pointing out all the numerous situations and issues that don't fit so well with short and brutal laws, people accuse you of muddying the waters.
This whole thing reminds me of an exercise one of my professors had the class do on one of the first days of law school. The problem was based on the well-known nursery rhyme "Mary Had a Little Lamb":
It followed her to school one day
School one day, school one day
It followed her to school one day
Which was against the rules.
Write down the rule.
Of more than 100 students in the class (most of whom just wrote "No lambs on school grounds"), only one -- a woman who had worked as a school administrator for over a decade -- came up with a workable rule that accomplished a narrow purpose and avoided ridiculous situations (such as someone being suspended for bringing a lamb shish kebab for lunch). The rule she wrote was almost 3 pages long.
What you and I would do is influenced by our circumstances. I'm going to hazard a guess that you can support your children by yourself.
I would not force the issue either but I would be honest up front as well and let him decide what to do. Once established as the father, the courts will likely assess child support.
If he's bonded with the child, he would probably do whatever needed for the kid. If not, I don't like the idea of a law forcing him. OTOH, Redisca makes a good point with varying situations. It's looks like an evil-o-meter is needed here and that's not happening any time soon.
Thats kind of the point, if a paternity test is done at birth with the other battery of tests they do then the man DOES know whether or not the child is his. If it turns out at the time that the child is not his, then give him the option of becoming the adoptive Father if he chooses to take financial responsibility for the child.
On a purely legal basis, don't you think this violates the rights of the biological father? You can't adopt someone without the consent of both biological parents, or evidence that the biological father cannot be located or has passed up a reasonable opportunity to contest the adoption.
On a purely legal basis, I think this is fraud for a woman to lie about the paternity of her child in order to get money from a man in the way of child support.
The question "why take the childs Father away" should be posed to the Mother who started the mess to begin with. The custody of the child should be questioned if the woman has done this and then will not come forward with the name of the real Father and can not take care of her child on her own.
Thats kind of the point, if a paternity test is done at birth with the other battery of tests they do then the man DOES know whether or not the child is his. If it turns out at the time that the child is not his, then give him the option of becoming the adoptive Father if he chooses to take financial responsibility for the child.
While I agree, it becomes about the child and what is best for the child once a man has established himself as a child's father.
Do you stop loving a child you raised because you found out he doesn't have your DNA? Deception doesn't erase a parental bond.
It is a bad analogy nonetheless, you can not compare the two situations. When the adoptive parent chooses to become a father to a child he knows the child is not his. When such a deceived man becomes a father he think it is his. If he knew that the child was not his no one can guarantee that he will choose to become a parent.
On a purely legal basis, don't you think this violates the rights of the biological father? You can't adopt someone without the consent of both biological parents, or evidence that the biological father cannot be located or has passed up a reasonable opportunity to contest the adoption.
Oh yes you can. My husband's son was adopted by his ex's second husband without him being notified. She lied and told the court that she had tried to find him and couldn't.
There was a case in the 90's where two babies were switched at birth and one was put up for adoption. The switch was discovered when the parents who kept "their" baby were tested to be blood donors for a surgery the girl needed several years later.
It is a bad analogy nonetheless, you can not compare the two situations. When the adoptive parent chooses to become a father to a child he knows the child is not his. When such a deceived man becomes a father he think it is his. If he knew that the child was not his no one can guarantee that he will choose to become a parent.
What he would have done if circumstances were different is irrelevent to the fact circumstances are not different.
To apply your logic to a switched baby scenario, if I should find out today that my 15 year old was switched at birth I should be able to send her back because, had I known, I would have chosen to not have raised her . What I would have done had I known babies were switched is irrelevent to the fact I didn't know they were switched.
What he would have done if circumstances were different is irrelevent to the fact circumstances are not different.
To apply your logic to a switched baby scenario, if I should find out today that my 15 year old was switched at birth I should be able to send her back because, had I known, I would have chosen to not have raised her . What I would have done had I known babies were switched is irrelevent to the fact I didn't know they were switched.
In your scenerio, the person doing the switching would probably be jailed. Should the same apply to the mom if it could be proven?
Oh yes you can. My husband's son was adopted by his ex's second husband without him being notified. She lied and told the court that she had tried to find him and couldn't.
Well, you can go out and murder someone too, but that's illegal. Most people would be afraid to lie to a court, because there is the threat of contempt and huge lawsuits years later. That some do it anyway doesn't change the fact that the law generally requires that the biological father be put on notice of an adoption proceeding and given an opportunity to stop it. What Lindsey has proposed is to give the husband a unilateral power to "take the option" of adopting the baby without involving either biological parent. Which really treats both the wife and the baby as the husband's property.
In your scenerio, the person doing the switching would probably be jailed. Should the same apply to the mom if it could be proven?
Maybe, maybe not. Depends on whether the switch was intentional. Not quite the same with the mother because she may not realize the other man is the father.
As to the child, I would hope the man doesn't stop loving him because of a DNA test. I would not stop loving my children if it turned out I am not their mother. They'd still be my children. I'd still send them to college. I'd just have another one to send to college if the other parents can't afford to send her.
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. What I would have done had I known babies were switched is irrelevent to the fact I didn't know they were switched.