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Would you be put off if "your guy" asked for a DNA test of your baby?
Personally, I believe ALL babies should be given mandatory DNA tests for paternity. That way nothing can be hidden and she can't pull the "don't you trust me" card.
We have 10+% of births happen with the father never knowing the kid isn't his. WOW!
I mean babies are ran through a myriad of simple tests before they leave the hospital, you'd think knowing who the father was might rank up there a little higher
Just like getting a blood test before marriage. How many people get an incurable disease because they were in love and "trusted" the other person?
I say on the birth certificate beside the father's name it should read:
"Proven Father via DNA Testing"
or
"Father by Law Only. Full Responsibility Acknowledged & Accepted"
A College class mate of mine in Florida was telling us his story in "Child Development class" about how he and his wife when they had their first child together, how shocked and elated he was to be having a son.
He went on to tell us that while out doing some shoping one day w/ his little boy, now a yr old, he was in line at a store and looked at his son to be hit w/ a wave of "What if He's Not Mine". He said for days it consumed him, his wife had done nothing to make him suspect anything, nor had he learned or heard anything.
Since he couldn't get it out his head he secretly scheduled a paternity test, a few weeks later when he went in to get the results at the Ped's Doc he was met in the office w/ the Doctor and a rep for Child Services, and he found out it wasn't his kid.
The story of course went on from there but the core is he found out his wife was having an affair the entire 2yrs they were married, but when she got pregnant called it off. He obviously divorced her, but unfortunately for him he's stuck paying child support for a kid that is not his. He says he can't even look at the boy anymore and has nothing to do w/ him or the mother, w/ exception to the $500mth he sends in support each month.
Selective reading. I said UP TO 30%. Studies aren't conclusive at this point, but several have reported the 30% figure.
Selective reporting on your part. What does "up to" mean? That it could be 30%, but more likely less than 5%? Because that 30% has been reported in some studies which only considered cases where paternity was disputed, not all births. So your statement that "up to 30%" of all children born today have fathers other than those who believe themselves such is clearly misleading and wildly incorrect.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nutz76
I'm saying sluts who can't even have the basic sense to know which guy their opened their legs for knocked them up should be held accountable and support themselves.
Without discussing the "sluts" who can't identify the father because they were gang-raped, I would focus on the fact that you fail to see the child (whatever the circumstances of conception) as a human being. And it is a human being, you know. You want the sluts to support themselves? Fine. However, a "****" who is only 3 days old obviously can't support herself, and since that newborn "****" isn't responsible for how she was conceived, I don't see in what way she "merits" to starve to death. IMHO, of course.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nutz76
The ones that ask Uncle Sam for handouts should get a minimal level of support as opposed to women who make better decisions in life. Call it merit vs entitlement. Why keep rewarding irresponsible people for poor decisions? It just enables them to continue down that path taking our tax dollars with them.
I don't see you proposing the same course of action for men who keep fathering children they can't support.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nutz76
Never said the fathers shouldn't pay CS, which is a whole other issue of paying the STATE back for the handouts they gave the mother. If anything SHE should be the one paying them back for the welfare by garnishing her wages after she's gainfully employed, not tacking those fees on top of the CS payments he owes. The vast majority of men who are "deadbeat dads" are in fact dead broke dads--the majority of which are living under the poverty lines themselves.
Oh, I see. A woman who can't support a child but has one anyway is a "****", who is benefiting from a "handout". But a man who can't support a child but has one anyway is just a poor old "dead broke dad", who should just have all his obligations forgiven, because well, he's just so poor and so adorable, and it would be too cruel to expect him to put on a condom. Right? Please don't tell me your arguments have anything to do with fairness.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nutz76
Bet you didn't know that most men who are jailed for failing to pay CS aren't paying because they aren't employed in the first place. It takes up to 6 months to get CS wage garnishments lowered because the family court system works slower than the criminal court side of the house. By the time men get their payments lowered to an affordable level they've been tossed jail months before. That's the reality of the current system in place today.
Cry me a river. If you fail to fix a problem, don't complain if someone fixes it for you. For decades, non-custodial fathers schemed to get out of child support, even very modest child support, by various underhanded means -- by working for cash (and pretending to be unemployed), by undervaluing their business, by underreporting their income. Little by little, legislatures stepped in and closed these loopholes by imposing obligations that can only be overcome through a full-blown legal proceeding and with an honest-to-goodness evidentiary showing. Yes, the laws are draconian in this regard, and yes, the courts are heavy-handed -- but that's merely a response to generations of children left without adequate support. In those "good old days", you know, the 1950's, 25% of minor children in America lived below the poverty line, in no small part because of precisely this kind of behavior. If non-custodial fathers didn't commit so much fraud on child support, they wouldn't be in this situation right now.
A College class mate of mine in Florida was telling us his story in "Child Development class" about how he and his wife when they had their first child together, how shocked and elated he was to be having a son.
He went on to tell us that while out doing some shoping one day w/ his little boy, now a yr old, he was in line at a store and looked at his son to be hit w/ a wave of "What if He's Not Mine". He said for days it consumed him, his wife had done nothing to make him suspect anything, nor had he learned or heard anything.
Since he couldn't get it out his head he secretly scheduled a paternity test, a few weeks later when he went in to get the results at the Ped's Doc he was met in the office w/ the Doctor and a rep for Child Services, and he found out it wasn't his kid.
The story of course went on from there but the core is he found out his wife was having an affair the entire 2yrs they were married, but when she got pregnant called it off. He obviously divorced her, but unfortunately for him he's stuck paying child support for a kid that is not his. He says he can't even look at the boy anymore and has nothing to do w/ him or the mother, w/ exception to the $500mth he sends in support each month.
Well, at least it's a good thing for him he never loved that little boy, not even before he had doubts.
Well, at least it's a good thing for him he never loved that little boy, not even before he had doubts.
OH NO! He said he loved the boy very much had already bonded w/ him and everything. But he said the pain he went thru every day for like the next few mths to a yr being around him knowing it was another mans kid he said was more than he could bare.
Bad thing was his ***** of a exwife wouldn't ever divulge who the real father was, his legal team attempted to get her to tell them so my class mate could inturn sue the true father for the support.
Sorry arz mom wanted only her now exhusband to be in the childs life. Well this is what she gets neither father in the kids life, and a measly 500 a mth & have to explain to her son when he's old enough that momma was a tramp and screwed both their lives up.
Well mandatory testing could cause a lot of trouble, but if I were a guy and especially if I weren't married- I would totally want mandatory paternity testing cause that way I would make the female feel bad because I wanted to be absolutely sure. "Mama's baby daddy's maybe." Get a test! And pay ur child support if u r the one.
I am a woman of class, morals, loyalty, and dignity. I would not create a LIFE with a random dude. If my HUSBAND asked me to have our child tested to PROVE myself to him, he is insulting me on the lowest of levels. He is calling me a s--t. He is saying he doesn't trust my loyalty or my moral fiber. I could not stay married to him.
Men sneaking behind their wives backs for "secret" paternity tests? How deceitful.
If a man wants a paternity test, don't be a sissy. Just tell the woman that is bearing your child you question her word that the child isn't yours. Don't lay down some blanket testing so you don't have to be a man and call her out. That way you can pay for it too.
When I hear ridiculous arguments like this one, I always ask people: "You got curtains or blinds on your windows? Yes? Whatssamatter? You got something to hide?"
No, the guy who didn't, got charged with exposing himself when two women trespassed on his acreage.
I'm always amused at how women, who have no concern about who's kid it is, are shocked, yes shocked, that men might like the same certainty. Especially since it is nearly always the men who are on the hook for a near lifetime of payments, whether married or divorced.
Its also good for the child to know who their biological father is. Genetic treatments being what they already are and considering what they will be in only a few years, this information is really owed to every child.
If women don't like this, DON'T SLEEP AROUND! You've been telling men this for a long time. Time to set an example and offer some proof.
OH NO! He said he loved the boy very much had already bonded w/ him and everything.
No, he did not love him, and he did not bond with him. If you truly love a child, you can't turn it off just like that if you find out that it's not yours. If I found out tomorrow that my son wasn't mine, but was maliciously switched at birth, I couldn't just stop loving him and toss him to the curb. The ease with which he tossed the boy out of his life demonstrates he never loved him in the first place.
A College class mate of mine in Florida was telling us his story in "Child Development class" about how he and his wife when they had their first child together, how shocked and elated he was to be having a son.
He went on to tell us that while out doing some shoping one day w/ his little boy, now a yr old, he was in line at a store and looked at his son to be hit w/ a wave of "What if He's Not Mine". He said for days it consumed him, his wife had done nothing to make him suspect anything, nor had he learned or heard anything.
Since he couldn't get it out his head he secretly scheduled a paternity test, a few weeks later when he went in to get the results at the Ped's Doc he was met in the office w/ the Doctor and a rep for Child Services, and he found out it wasn't his kid.
The story of course went on from there but the core is he found out his wife was having an affair the entire 2yrs they were married, but when she got pregnant called it off. He obviously divorced her, but unfortunately for him he's stuck paying child support for a kid that is not his. He says he can't even look at the boy anymore and has nothing to do w/ him or the mother, w/ exception to the $500mth he sends in support each month.
That's the catch 22. If you ask for a paternity test at birth you don't trust her, if you do not, judges will not be sympathetic to you and you will be paying child support for another's person child. You will be called names because you are not the child's life anymore (someone else's child BTW). You might as well take it like a man right?
In this situation there are no good outcomes possible for such a man.
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