what is 1 thing you learned about relationships you didnt know when you were younger? (guy, attracted)
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I can't take full credit for it! I got the general gist from the book The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Amazing book, you must read it. It's touching, slightly disturbing, and emotionally raw.
I can't take full credit for it! I got the general gist from the book The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Amazing book, you must read it. It's touching, slightly disturbing, and emotionally raw.
Mango Tango, I loved all your posts. Here's a CD hug for you!
******************HUG*************************
Here's what I've learned:
- Singledom is liberating.
- He isn't going to change. Don't attempt to change him. Either accept him for who he is or find someone to suit you better.
- Another person will not make you happy. YOU will make you happy.
For most people, what they say they want and actually want are two different things.
Good one. Many single men can identify with this. They actually believed that women wanted a man who was thoughtful, reasonably ambitious, had it together, didn't need them as a maid and treated them with respect/as equals. Either the thrice divorced guys are very convincing liars or this just isn't the case.
I have learned that the only person you can trust 100% is yourself.
this, pretty much.
and, you don't need someone to be happy, people are generally full of it and are rarely up front with you, and pouring your heart out to someone is generally a bad idea.
I have learned over the years that I am not capable of changing anyone, I can only change my reactions to them. Once you learn this you are a happier person.
I have also learned that no matter how much you think you love someone, you can move on and be happy without them. You cannot make someone love you. If it doesn't work for them then it's not working for either of you. Best to move on and find someone who will love you as much as you love them.
I learned that loving someone, and staying in love with them is not an uncontrollable feeling, but a decision. If you get married and PROMISE to spend the rest of your life with someone, for better or for worse, expect there will be worse times and that not loving someone anymore is a decision, and not an uncontrollable emotion. Stay married, and love the other person, even when you don't feel like it. It does wonders for the relationship. Watch "Fireproof" the movie. The message is true and I've experienced it myself. I wanted to leave, but decided to uphold my promise to love lhim for better or for worse. When i CHOSE to love him even through the times I wanted to cholke the life out of him, my love for him grew and things changed in our marraige, for the better. I'm glad I stayed and didn't take the 'scape goat.
Yup, and at least you didn't rope/reel in some poor sod, steal his heart and then stomp it in the ground in the process of your "finding" yourself and your, "promise" again. And then use Jesus for an excuse. Now that would have been cruel and spoken volumes as to your true character, or lack thereof.
Not everyone that marries has made the right match or decision (obviously! Sign? Everyday is an exhausting struggle because you are sooo different). As we all know, we often love those who aren't good for us. .
Don't get married until you're at least 26 or 27. Give yourself a chance to identify your needs and wants so that they are well defined and less likely to change over the years.
Last edited by picklejuice; 07-22-2009 at 08:25 AM..
i probably could have made that a shorter title. oh well.
anyway i didnt realize until recently that just because a guy is flirting with you, doesnt mean he is interested. it is very frustrating, but i learned not to take flirts seriously at all. i didnt learn it until i asked out this guy in my grad program. he had flirted with me a few times and even once said something like "would you ever go out with a mexican guy?" and i took that as a sign he was interested. he wasnt.
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