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Something I've learned is not to confuse pleasure for happiness. Pleasure is short term, happiness is long term, and they don't often go hand in hand. There were/are a lot of things that can give me pleasure in a relationship, but that doesn't always equate to happiness. Knowing the difference can spare you a lot of disappointment.
Something I've learned is not to confuse pleasure for happiness. Pleasure is short term, happiness is long term, and they don't often go hand in hand. There were/are a lot of things that can give me pleasure in a relationship, but that doesn't always equate to happiness. Knowing the difference can spare you a lot of disappointment.
I learned that
-when you're looking for someone to feel complete, you run into people who tend to use you - then you are compelled to walk away
-when you are complete (or at least balanced) and you meet someone who sticks around, offers a hand and really looks at who you are (and not what you can do for them) - then it's the time to stay.
I learned that loving someone, and staying in love with them is not an uncontrollable feeling, but a decision. If you get married and PROMISE to spend the rest of your life with someone, for better or for worse, expect there will be worse times and that not loving someone anymore is a decision, and not an uncontrollable emotion. Stay married, and love the other person, even when you don't feel like it. It does wonders for the relationship. Watch "Fireproof" the movie. The message is true and I've experienced it myself. I wanted to leave, but decided to uphold my promise to love lhim for better or for worse. When i CHOSE to love him even through the times I wanted to cholke the life out of him, my love for him grew and things changed in our marraige, for the better. I'm glad I stayed and didn't take the 'scape goat.
I'm still young, so it's some pretty basic stuff:
- Just because you are very attracted to someone doesn't mean you'd be right for each other. Try to see the person more objectively.
- Guys who flirt & get your number may not be genuinely interested in you. Don't be surprised if they never call.
- People who jump from long term relationship to long term relationship are often afraid of being alone and are often in shallow relationships with the wrong person. Better to stay single than to go that route.
- Looks rarely grow on me. Either the guy is attractive to me or he isn't.
I learned that loving someone, and staying in love with them is not an uncontrollable feeling, but a decision. If you get married and PROMISE to spend the rest of your life with someone, for better or for worse, expect there will be worse times and that not loving someone anymore is a decision, and not an uncontrollable emotion. Stay married, and love the other person, even when you don't feel like it. It does wonders for the relationship. Watch "Fireproof" the movie. The message is true and I've experienced it myself. I wanted to leave, but decided to uphold my promise to love lhim for better or for worse. When i CHOSE to love him even through the times I wanted to cholke the life out of him, my love for him grew and things changed in our marraige, for the better. I'm glad I stayed and didn't take the 'scape goat.
Absolutely wise.
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