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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,801,766 times
Reputation: 41398
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SOON2BNSURPRISE
I didn't start out like that. It took a long time for me to learn the lessons I am talking about. I had a great teacher in my wife though. Also plenty of possitive examples from my own dad and mom who are working on their 2nd 50 years of marriage. My dad at 72 still gets the door for my mom. I remember growing up that we could have got into an argument with our dad, not that it would have been successfull on our part, but just try and get into an argument with our mom, espescially when he was near by. That would end in dissaster for us kids. My dad loves my mom and not even kids can mess that up. She comes first in my dads life and always has.
Still I bet you anyone could learn the same lessons over time.
Your parents kinda sound like my grandparents on mom's side. Mom and her siblings knew not to cross grandma like that or grandpa would show his WWII strength I their behinds. They had a long marriage that ended with grandad's death and grandma passing less than two years after. I really wish my mother had a marriage like that.
I have been very understanding and patient with you but that was just wrong. He seems very genuine and I ain't just saying that b/c he is a moderator.
what's him being moderator have to do with anything? Moderator or no, I really don't beleive he asked his wife 'how to be a better husband' and 'took notes' on it to boot. LMAO. I file that under far fetched. That doesn't require patience and understanding on your part.
what's him being moderator have to do with anything? Moderator or no, I really don't beleive he asked his wife 'how to be a better husband' and 'took notes' on it to boot. LMAO. I file that under far fetched. That doesn't require patience and understanding on your part.
What's the point of assuming the worst in people? Why even bother posting on forums if you think everyone is a liar and a horrible person?
What's the point of assuming the worst in people? Why even bother posting on forums if you think everyone is a liar and a horrible person?
Because I like to tell people when I think what they've said is something so far fetched that it defies common sense...and b/c I like to post on this forum.
Because I like to tell people when I think what they've said is something so far fetched that it defies common sense...and b/c I like to post on this forum.
The problem with that is, that due to your condition you can't understand a normal loving relationship w/o trying to see the worst in everyone; when that is just not the case.
The problem with that is, that due to your condition you can't understand a normal loving relationship w/o trying to see the worst in everyone; when that is just not the case.
Even if this is correct/accurate, I don't know how to fix it. Which is why I came to the conclusion there's no hope for A.S. people regardless of what they try.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,801,766 times
Reputation: 41398
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes
Even if this is correct/accurate, I don't know how to fix it. Which is why I came to the conclusion there's no hope for A.S. people regardless of what they try.
A well-known poster on the KY forum who has Asperger's is engaged to be married. He has an upbeat attitude which aides him not only to find a good partner but to graduate from college. I know I am agreeing with a few posters I really don't like but attitude is everything in his case and yours.
Even if this is correct/accurate, I don't know how to fix it. Which is why I came to the conclusion there's no hope for A.S. people regardless of what they try.
You could try to understand people and listen to what they say instead of calling them liars. My husband listens to what I have to say about our relationship. He does his best to be a wonderful husband. He's not perfect and he still ticks me off sometimes - but he is committed to me and he does his best. We love each other and we are both in this for the long haul. And I KNOW that we aren't the only couple in the world who feel this way. Instead of calling people liars - try opening up a bit and maybe seeing that everyone isn't as awful as you think they are.
Even if this is correct/accurate, I don't know how to fix it. Which is why I came to the conclusion there's no hope for A.S. people regardless of what they try.
I know it isn't easy and you sometimes feel like you are "forced" to go with the flow on things that make NO SENSE at all, and are in direct opposition to the things you know and think. But love and relationships aren't a perfect formula that you can work out, nor will everyone fit into the same size/shape box.
Just do yourself a favor (although it might not seem like a favor) and just believe someone on here the next time they say something about their relationship you just can't understand.
*(I mean like I totally probably wouldn't believe you if you said you had a living 14" pink and purple unicorn as a pet, but I would believe in your belief of your pet, if that makes ANY sense)*
And if the time ever comes that they were wrong and you were 100% right, then don't go with the "I knew this would happen; or I told you so", just say how sorry (even if you don't mean it, 'cause fake sympathy still has it's place) you are for their situation, and move on.
The inability to percieve emotions and relationships with full trust is hard for someone with your condition, but not impossible! There IS hope, I promise; even if it might not seem like it. My best girlfriend has twin daughters; one with CP the other with ASD like yours, and she will be 23 in a month and is getting married in Sept. She started therapy, and actually believe it or not acupuncture and hypnosis and whether it was the therapy, or the acupuncture or the hypnosis; it's really helped her to understand emotions and become more intune with others.
There is also some studies that suggest SSRI's can help with this as well, although they are Rx'd for "off label" use in this manner.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93
You could try to understand people and listen to what they say instead of calling them liars. My husband listens to what I have to say about our relationship. He does his best to be a wonderful husband. He's not perfect and he still ticks me off sometimes - but he is committed to me and he does his best. We love each other and we are both in this for the long haul. And I KNOW that we aren't the only couple in the world who feel this way. Instead of calling people liars - try opening up a bit and maybe seeing that everyone isn't as awful as you think they are.
Dewdrop also has good ideas as well.
Also, do you take any college classes? If so, have you taken any Sociology classes? They might give you a more "structured, clinical" view of humans and their interactions.
Either way good luck!
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what's him being moderator have to do with anything? Moderator or no, I really don't beleive he asked his wife 'how to be a better husband' and 'took notes' on it to boot. LMAO. I file that under far fetched. That doesn't require patience and understanding on your part.
There IS hope, I promise; even if it might not seem like it. My best girlfriend has twin daughters; one with CP the other with ASD like yours, and she will be 23 in a month and is getting married in Sept. She started therapy, and actually believe it or not acupuncture and hypnosis and whether it was the therapy, or the acupuncture or the hypnosis; it's really helped her to understand emotions and become more intune with others. 
