How do you feel about stares/attention at interracial dating from the public? (wife, boyfriends)
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I am an white male (French) and my current girlfriend is Hispanic (Cuban), and even i will notice or even stare at (not that i do it intentionally or to purposely make someone uncomfortable) interracial couples, whether they are WM/AF, AM/WF, BM/WF, WM/BF etc.
it is curiousity. i merely like to see who happens to be hooking up with who http://www.aznlover.com/vbulletin/images/smilies/smile.gif (broken link) http://www.aznlover.com/vbulletin/images/smilies/smile.gif (broken link)
i guess i will even do other things like see of one partner is more attractive than the other, guess how they got together, etc When i would rarely do this with monoracial couples.
When dating non-white females/ males, do you feel other people staring/noticing you in public? Like when your in an interracial relationship you get more stares/ noticed then when in an mono-racial relationship. How do you feel about that? Has it ever made you feel uncomfortable?
Why is it that interracial relationships get more media attention? E.g. Kobe vs Shaq.
I feel that a lot of interracial couples are fine in private but perhaps at least somewhat reluctant to show public affection, go certain places, hold hands, etc. what are your thoughts?
I was married for 10 years to an east indian and we have 2 children. If anyone ever stared or there was negative attention, I never noticed. I also live in a smallish southern town and we traveled quite a bit during that time. However, it is entirely possible that I'm just oblivious to what is going on around me.
I remember my ex telling me when he was dating a black woman, that people would stare at them, when they were out in public.
He didn`t care. He would just stare right back at them.
it is curiousity. i merely like to see who happens to be hooking up with who
i guess i will even do other things like see of one partner is more attractive than the other, guess how they got together, etc
So you play the "evaluating game" also? You'd get along great with Pikantari and her boyfriend.
I mind my own business. I really don't care to check out other couples. I'm not interested in who looks hotter or what the trends are because it makes no difference to how I pick my boyfriends.
As an Asian woman who has always dated white guys, we basically get no stares from others since our interracial combination is so common. Shrug.
And my boyfriends don't look to see if other guys are checking us out. If I thought for an instant that I was some sort of trophy for him, I would drop him in a flash. Also, none of my boyfriends have ever dated any Asian women before me. I make sure that they don't have a thing for Asian women, because if they did, I would be totally grossed out and refuse to go out with them. I want my men to love me first for my personality and brains, not because of my slanted eyes. Aside from my exterior looks, there is nothing inside of me that is very Chinese. I'm a 100% American and consider women equal to men. So they better not expect any submissive traditional Asian attitudes from me.
Yes, but we are married, so the gawkers can go take a long walk off a short rooftop as far as we're concerned.
Nobody gave me a second glance when I was dating within my race.
I really don't understand the "thing for asians" idea. If somebody has a thing for blondes, does that mean every blonde should run from him because it's creepy? Or if a guy likes tomboys who can drink a beer and play football with him and the guys, then he needs to "forget that fantasy" and date some girly-girls?
Are guys not allowed to have preferences anymore? Do we just have to say "Oh, anything is fine" and sit around as handsome but as neutered as a Barbie Ken doll?
If a guy likes slanty eyes, dark hair, and math whizzes (kidding -- sort of), then why shouldn't he date an asian?
Even in the case of the guy who has no clue about any culture but his own and is going on some fantasy not actually connected with the reality of asian culture x, y, or z, what's to say he's Mr. Wrong? If he's good-looking, educated, kind, and a catch in all other ways, shouldn't you give him a shot? It's not like he is going to mold you into some twisted fantasy girl if you have even an iota of personality of your own. Either he's gonna get educated about who you really are and choose to accept you, or the relationship will end faster than you can get offended by me typing "flied lice". That's the basics of any relationship, regardless or race, looks, or any other type of preference. To say that people who might prefer features common to asians, latinos, blacks, whites, or other are somehow sick or creepy is just nonsense, IMO. But maybe I've overlooked something. If so, I'd love to hear about it.
I get stared at if I am hanging out just as friends with a guy thats black. Im white/f
It makes me very uncomfortable because of knowing how evil and stupid people can be.
There was a kid that just got kicked to death here in PA recently for being mexican.
I worry about that when I am out with gay or minority friends. Its like you can feel the hate sometimes.
Its disgusting.
I highly doubt anyone is staring in Los Angeles, mixed couples are extremely common around here so it is not much of a novelty. It probably happens outside urban areas.
Yes, but we are married, so the gawkers can go take a long walk off a short rooftop as far as we're concerned.
Nobody gave me a second glance when I was dating within my race.
I really don't understand the "thing for asians" idea. If somebody has a thing for blondes, does that mean every blonde should run from him because it's creepy? Or if a guy likes tomboys who can drink a beer and play football with him and the guys, then he needs to "forget that fantasy" and date some girly-girls?
Are guys not allowed to have preferences anymore? Do we just have to say "Oh, anything is fine" and sit around as handsome but as neutered as a Barbie Ken doll?
If a guy likes slanty eyes, dark hair, and math whizzes (kidding -- sort of), then why shouldn't he date an asian?
Even in the case of the guy who has no clue about any culture but his own and is going on some fantasy not actually connected with the reality of asian culture x, y, or z, what's to say he's Mr. Wrong? If he's good-looking, educated, kind, and a catch in all other ways, shouldn't you give him a shot? It's not like he is going to mold you into some twisted fantasy girl if you have even an iota of personality of your own. Either he's gonna get educated about who you really are and choose to accept you, or the relationship will end faster than you can get offended by me typing "flied lice". That's the basics of any relationship, regardless or race, looks, or any other type of preference. To say that people who might prefer features common to asians, latinos, blacks, whites, or other are somehow sick or creepy is just nonsense, IMO. But maybe I've overlooked something. If so, I'd love to hear about it.
Speaking for myself and as a woman, it feels icky to be objectified by men and have them crushing on just your exterior looks. I've never wanted to be viewed as some sort of sex object for guys I don't know or like. As it is we know how a lot of guys will jerk off to porn pictures and videos. Ew.
I like my men to be open minded and to have dated women of different looks, but that they were all intelligent and with a mind of their own. So if I happened to know a guy's ex and she was an idiotic girlie girl, I don't think that I would like that either on his relationship resume.
Anyway, it was way back when I was in college and rooming with a Japanese girl, that we discussed that we found non-Asian guys that had a track record for dating Asian women very unappealing to us. She was as Americanized as I was. We both spoke perfect English, didn't speak our ancestor's language, we felt smart having gotten into an Ivy League school and were outspoken and not demure acting like FOB Asian girls.
I did have a male friend, a Sicilian American that preferred Asian women because he liked the tan color of our skins and found white women to be too pale looking. But I don't think that he ever got around to ever dating an Asian and ended up happily marrying a white woman. He had a crush on my little sister, but she wasn't interested in dating him. We were only good platonic friends.
About six years ago, I was asked out by a white guy that was in the process of divorcing his blonde wife. He was just a few years older than me. A really nice guy, but I just couldn't think of him romantically. Anyway, afterwards he dated a Vietnamese woman and some of my other male friends told me that he was always admiring random Asian women. I think that some of it was because we tend to age well and maybe some of it was because he was working on getting his brown belt in Kempo martial arts. His ex wife was very tired looking.
I'm sure we get more stares/looks, but I've never really noticed them. I'm just making that assumption. However, we have had numerous clerks and waiters ask us if we're together - they're not sure if they should ring up items at the grocery store together or split checks. If we're out with friends, many strangers with whom we interact assume one of us is with our companion - you know, they assume the like races are together. And, those people are usually abashed once their assumptions are corrected. We're on the west coast where people are more open-minded and, if not, at least like to think they are.
Last edited by fjtee; 01-10-2009 at 03:40 PM..
Reason: too tired to write correctly.
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