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Yep. We had someone post a thread in the NM forum and she didn't like the answers so she closed it.
Interesting people... If you ask for advice, you should be prepared to hear all kinds of viewpoints. I don't care to air my current dirty laundry and nobody bothers me.
Optiflex - Tried to rep ya, but just like lovesmountains.... I couldn't! I don't spend enough time spreading it around! Anyway, good thoughts and I couldn't agree with ya more!! If you ask for honest opinions, be ready to get them. Hopefully in a mature and fair manner, but quite possibly not what you're wanting to hear.
If I see something that catches my eye, I will read the thread, and respond, to my best opinion, whether its something you want to hear, or not. I`m not going to candy coat situations for anybody.... I try to give the best advice as I see fit. (Period.)
My theory is it is always a gamble when posting a thread so be ready for anything to come up and if you don't like it, that was the chance that was taken. Suck it up.
I think the question always comes up on these boards - does the OP want TRUE opinions or just moral support?
How you reply might enforce or negate their ego.
Most of these threads that ask for advice clearly state that they are looking for opinions. If they want to vent and not have any advice given, then they should say so in their title and first post. Or just say that they are looking for an internet virtual hug. I have seen threads where someone only wanted positive support and that's what they got. But the O.P. was very clear about the purpose of the thread.
If someone is going to get pissed off by the negative replies or get depressed about the unwelcome advice, then they are taking the internet too seriously and need step away from their computer for a while.
Most of these threads that ask for advice clearly state that they are looking for opinions.
Even then, stating something and holding expectations are two different things.
Quote:
If they want to vent and not have any advice given, then they should say so in their title and first post. Or just say that they are looking for an internet virtual hug. I have seen threads where someone only wanted positive support and that's what they got. But the O.P. was very clear about the purpose of the thread.
Even when I post a satirical or parody piece, I'm not sure what will happen. More often than not on this board, it gets ignored, which is fine with me. If I were to have expectations about the replies I get, I'd be in trouble.
Quote:
If someone is going to get pissed off by the negative replies or get depressed about the unwelcome advice, then they are taking the internet too seriously and need step away from their computer for a while.
True, but also true that some respondents have the tact of a flea. They attack the poster instead of the post, they assume numerous things, and they place their own agenda on top of the OP's thread.
That's the nature of anonymous Net communications. People are brave when they they hide, but cowards when exposed to the light.
True, but also true that some respondents have the tact of a flea. They attack the poster instead of the post, they assume numerous things, and they place their own agenda on top of the OP's thread.
I think that most of the respondents start off nice to all the new posters, but when that poster starts making redundant threads with the same theme and self pitying tone, those formerly nice respondents start being more harsh and dishing out the tough love because the poster wasn't helped out by their nicer approach. I can think of several thread starters that fall into this category of making many redundant threads and wallowing in self pity. And I think that at that point, it's better to be brutally honest with them instead of pretending to agree with them and to encourage their misogynist thoughts. Then in real life, they are going to think that they were right because their internet "friends" said so. Of course, what some of these people need is professional counseling... but most people can't afford it.
I think that most of the respondents start off nice to all the new posters, but when that poster starts making redundant threads with the same theme and self pitying tone, those formerly nice respondents start being more harsh and dishing out the tough love because the poster wasn't helped out by their nicer approach. I can think of several thread starters that fall into this category of making many redundant threads and wallowing in self pity. And I think that at that point, it's better to be brutally honest with them instead of pretending to agree with them and to encourage their misogynist thoughts. Then in real life, they are going to think that they were right because their internet "friends" said so. Of course, what some of these people need is professional counseling... but most people can't afford it.
True, true!
And there ARE forums elsewhere on the Net that would gladly indulge them in adoration...
I often think that peer polling is far more effective than professional counseling - and yes, FAR cheaper.
Because people don't want honesty. They want validation.
Well said, as always!
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