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Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
But as I said, my social group is self selecting. You would not find yourself in it by accident. And if you did, flirtation is the least of what would make you uncomfortable, I'm sure.
Nothing is being done behind anybody's back. And it's not at all a matter of testing the waters and then upon being rejected or "called out" claiming to simply be joking. Jokes are not jokes if no one is laughing. Hence, reading the room.
Tho I’m not talking about you or the ppl you know, Sonic. I know that you are in an open relationship from another thread & we disagree about a lot. But I was only talking about situations I know when ppl flirt & it can turn into sleazy because they are in a relationship or the person they are flirting with is. So, they act innocent about it or say it was just “for fun” or a joke…but many would take it farther if they weren’t called out or ignored IMO. So I don’t see how “flirting with no intention just for fun” makes sense. I wouldn’t want to waste my time doing that now but I really like meeting new ppl, talking at parties or events & making new friends. I like when my husband does that too. Ofc that’s totally different than flirting with them tho.
I find it interesting, if only to a point, how far the disconnect in thinking extends between people of one mindset and those of another.
But as I said, my social group is self selecting. You would not find yourself in it by accident. And if you did, flirtation is the least of what would make you uncomfortable, I'm sure.
Nothing is being done behind anybody's back. And it's not at all a matter of testing the waters and then upon being rejected or "called out" claiming to simply be joking. Jokes are not jokes if no one is laughing. Hence, reading the room.
I mean...
I wouldn’t want to be married to that guy or be that girl who flirts with “all sorts of people”.
Who is asking you to?
No one.
SS, you have explained yourself very clearly, so it is not on you that people are willfully obtuse or very argumentative. Bases on your posts, it sounds like you are your husband are very happy.
To the OP -
Being flirty and being "sleazy", in my opinion, is based on how the interaction makes a person feel. We all have our own set of boundaries. As stated in prior comments, reading the room is key.
SS, you have explained yourself very clearly, so it is not on you that people are willfully obtuse or very argumentative. Bases on your posts, it sounds like you are your husband are very happy.
To the OP -
Being flirty and being "sleazy", in my opinion, is based on how the interaction makes a person feel. We all have our own set of boundaries. As stated in prior comments, reading the room is key.
We are, thanks!
I was also just thinking...has anyone else encountered more light/meaningless "flirty" (but not backed by intent) behavior in parts of Southern culture than elsewhere, or is that just me? I have literally had the waitress who called everybody "honey" or "darling" before. I find it endearing. Some do not. Cultural thing, I suspect. While I grew up in the shadow of DC, I had exposure to rural VA and NC, and later spent time in the Midwest, so while I don't consider myself to be much of a back woods yee-haw, I'm related to a whole bunch of 'em.
I was also just thinking...has anyone else encountered more light/meaningless "flirty" (but not backed by intent) behavior in parts of Southern culture than elsewhere, or is that just me? I have literally had the waitress who called everybody "honey" or "darling" before. I find it endearing. Some do not. Cultural thing, I suspect. While I grew up in the shadow of DC, I had exposure to rural VA and NC, and later spent time in the Midwest, so while I don't consider myself to be much of a back woods yee-haw, I'm related to a whole bunch of 'em.
Guess I just tend to see it as harmless.
I feel the same way. It just isn't something that I get sensitive about.
Flirty is you lick your lips, sleazy is you lick his face.
Funny but probably accurate.
Many people see a clear distinction between nice and flirty. To them, flirty is a gateway to sleaziness, a sort of "testing the waters". But then others confuse being flirty with niceness, which is why I always lean on the safer side and have clear boundaries. It is okay to say something nice to me once. However, to continue on...that is being too flirty, but not quite sleazy. It has happened to me before with a few husbands, and I quickly turn my attention to another person.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,595,111 times
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Flirty is letting a single man know you’re single, interested & ready to mingle. Sleazy is flirting with a friend’s man or when you or they are in a relationship with somebody else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrRational
And their hands.
Flirty hands are stroking on your arms sleazy hands are on the front of your pants.
IMO, flirty is more verbal, friendly & playful….not sexual innuendos or touchy in any way, especially if you’re just meeting. Ofc, the better you know somebody, the more non sexual touch there might be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
I was also just thinking...has anyone else encountered more light/meaningless "flirty" (but not backed by intent) behavior in parts of Southern culture than elsewhere, or is that just me? I have literally had the waitress who called everybody "honey" or "darling" before.
I’m not from the south, but do you really think a waitress calling any customer “honey” or “hun” is flirting? IMO it’s not. They probably say it to everybody.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,595,111 times
Reputation: 7618
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grlzrl
In my experience, men who flirt are practiced at it and end up being players.
Sorry for your experience, but IMO being good at flirting has to do with being smart socially & they have an outgoing or friendly personality. And, a good sense of humor. I don’t think it has ANYTHING to do with wanting a serious relationship or not….all by itself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grlzrl
Most men that want real relationships are not super flirty.
If they are flirty to a lot of different women, ITA…like a serial flirt that can’t stop. But ofc, that’s different than flirting with women they are interested in for a relationship. They know when it’s ok or when it becomes sleazy. IMO, age & maturity makes a difference for most men, but there are some that never stop flirting for fun. I wouldn’t want to be with that type of “man”.
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