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How is it possible that a decent looking guy can swipe right on hundreds (possibly 1,000+) profiles of local women and not get a single match? I think that either women on those apps having extremely high standards or their profiles are inactive or they don't use the apps as heavily as men do. What I mean by that last suggestion is that since men spend hours swiping so many profiles and the same women are getting swiped right on, those women have literally thousands of men lined up in their swipe queue, like an employer who gets thousands of resumes for 1 position.
Or the man is not as good-looking as he thinks he is
Men dont start to pay until after the 1st meeting. Not sure if you knew that
Except it's not true. I've been on hundreds of these first meetings and many times they do pay. That wasn't really my point though. I still go out with men in their 20s, so if a person is going to be cheap/broke, I'd rather he at least be young and cute. But not a 35 year old man.
Except it's not true. I've been on hundreds of these first meetings and many times they do pay. That wasn't really my point though. I still go out with men in their 20s, so if a person is going to be cheap/broke, I'd rather he at least be young and cute. But not a 35 year old man.
Except that he may not be cheap or broke, just smart
Except that he may not be cheap or broke, just smart
"Smart" would be not spending money that you can't afford to lose. Maybe he really can't afford to lose $10, but I'm financially stable so I can't relate to that sort of thing.
Except it's not true. I've been on hundreds of these first meetings and many times they do pay. That wasn't really my point though. I still go out with men in their 20s, so if a person is going to be cheap/broke, I'd rather he at least be young and cute. But not a 35 year old man.
Hundreds, really? That sounds dreadful. I'd hate to go through that many people before finding one I was compatible with long term. Is this typical nowadays?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,178,375 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Bully
Hundreds, really? That sounds dreadful. I'd hate to go through that many people before finding one I was compatible with long term. Is this typical nowadays?
Hundreds easily. It's not about finding one you're compatible with, that's not the hardest part. You have to be compatible, attracted, have good chemistry in and out of the bedroom, and then want the same thing, THEN of course, they have to have all those things with you, THEN you need to make the relationship work.
It's a freaking tall order, and it makes sense it is hard to find, because a fairly small percentage of the population is going to hit on each of those factors and you'll hit on theirs a small percentage of the time. I probably have 50-100 first meetings, easily, between meeting a match where it makes sense to pursue monogamy (one every 2-3 years or so, on average), and most don't work out past a few months as something comes up for one person, or the other, or life stuff gets in the way.
Hundreds easily. It's not about finding one you're compatible with, that's not the hardest part. You have to be compatible, attracted, have good chemistry in and out of the bedroom, and then want the same thing, THEN of course, they have to have all those things with you, THEN you need to make the relationship work.
It's a freaking tall order, and it makes sense it is hard to find, because a fairly small percentage of the population is going to hit on each of those factors and you'll hit on theirs a small percentage of the time. I probably have 50-100 first meetings, easily, between meeting a match where it makes sense to pursue monogamy (one every 2-3 years or so, on average), and most don't work out past a few months as something comes up for one person, or the other, or life stuff gets in the way.
It's not that tall of an order, unless everyone involved is looking for perfection.
Hundreds, really? That sounds dreadful. I'd hate to go through that many people before finding one I was compatible with long term. Is this typical nowadays?
Yeah, it's annoying but I'm not interested in having children, so I don't feel any urgency to settle down with someone. I'd simply like to meet someone who I'm excited about spending time with and getting to know and see where it goes from there. If it doesn't turn out to be a long term thing, that's fine too. I welcome the opportunity to feel excited about someone no matter how long it lasts.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,178,375 times
Reputation: 40641
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Bully
It's not that tall of an order, unless everyone involved is looking for perfection.
No one is perfect and almost everyone realizes it, but people do have standards and some thresholds have to be met. And then of course, I left out the biggest X factor, you both have to fall in love, which is a very rare event. You can easily meet someone where you both want monogamy, like each other, care about each other, have great sex, enjoy your time together, have shared goals, etc etc.
And then one or both people don't fall in love. That happens not infrequently. Do plenty of people marry or couple with people they have no fallen in love with? Sure, but plenty of people haven't fallen in love so they don't know what they're missing or don't even know its a possibility.
Think about the percentages of each of these things happening. All well under 50% for each thing, single digits for some (or even less than 1% for some) and then you need to match it all up and meet that person. It's a freaking tall tall order.
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