Girlfriend gets mad when i think she is doing something or ask for truth but i do t get mad when its reversed? (cheating, family)
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You are in for an eye opener. Getting approval from your beer/tree smoking buddies isn't the same as getting the approval of a third party counselor. Therapists aren't paid to be a referee, they are there to help with conflict resolution, help you with communicating. Can't wait to hear about how the therapist is ganging up against you, with your girlfriend...lol
You are not really understanding the purpose of counseling/therapy. It's not to hire somebody to be your mouthpiece or personal referee and gang up on your partner and tell her you're right and she should deal with it.
Counseling is primarily about learning to listen and communicate effectively, and once that is established, it's about using those tools to minimize and address conflict effectively. It's not about "Hah, hah, told you you were wrong, now maybe you'll listen to me."
I did read your post, and replied, I don't type 10 wpm! I can tell from your post, that it's definitely one sided, and very biased in your favor. Which is to be expected, it's a natural tendency for people to try to make themselves look much better when arguing, trying to prove their point. So when a person tries to argue their point and still looks like a pile of poo, then I know you are over exaggerating your side of the story.
Having a relationship becomes very difficult when one or both people are unable to put themselves in the other person's skin. If you can't understand why a person has a certain reaction to your actions/words, then the relationship begins to break down. Just because you can lay it out for her, doesn't mean she has to. Maybe she has history, with guys who have really hurt her, and she has trust issues. Maybe you must earn her trust, and once you do, all her actions will tell you she is faithful...to the point your ridiculous needs to be told what she is doing, where she is going, who she talks to, will no longer be an issue.
You have severe trust issues, I'm sorry some girl gutted you, that your feelings were hurt....it happens, now put on your man pants, and act like one.
Sounds like there are a couple of threads about this, and I haven't read the other thread.
My question to you: Is it more important to be right about something, or to be real?
By being right, what do you gain? If your conflict resolution is to determine who is right, then the relationship is probably not in a long-term, healthy place.
Moderator note: OP's two threads on this topic have been merged into this one thread. If some posts seem out of order, it is because of the merge.
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So - you both accuse each other of cheating on each other on a regular basis - but you are "right" in the way that you handle her accusations and she is "wrong" in the way that she handles your accusations? Is that what you think is going on?
So - you both accuse each other of cheating on each other on a regular basis - but you are "right" in the way that you handle her accusations and she is "wrong" in the way that she handles your accusations? Is that what you think is going on?
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