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It's like that even though I know I'm right on certain things and if I tell it to someone else of what is happening between girlfriend and me they would agree.
My girlfriend, goes to counsling sometimes and listens.
Basically come to think of if, would it be better that if I go to counsling with her and tell the counsler about something that I know I'm right on, would that work? Especially since my girlfriend goes to counsling and had suggested that someday we do/should go to counsling?
Yes, you should go to counseling. It will help you understand that your perspective is not the only one in the world, and it will help you learn how to resolve conflicts and disagreements with a little more grace than, "I know I'm right," even if you are. Indeed, if you're thinking of enlisting a counselor as your ally in a dispute, you're in for a big surprise.
"You know you're right" reeks of arrogance. Move on, next.
Oh, sweet jeebus.
OP, yes, please go to counseling. Your relationship is, for want of a better term, jacked up. Both of you need assistance with conflict resolution if you want it to last.
Yes, you should go to counseling. It will help you understand that your perspective is not the only one in the world, and it will help you learn how to resolve conflicts and disagreements with a little more grace than, "I know I'm right," even if you are. Indeed, if you're thinking of enlisting a counselor as your ally in a dispute, you're in for a big surprise.
What kind of "big surprise"?
What I think is that since she can listen to whatever her (or a) coubsler says, she agrees.
While whenever or if whenever i tell someone the situation in plain details to others(such as friends and random people I meet) i most of the time have agreements.
Which I'm thinking of bringing what I say to her counsler.
What I think is that since she can listen to whatever her (or a) coubsler says, she agrees.
While whenever or if whenever i tell someone the situation in plain details to others(such as friends and random people I meet) i most of the time have agreements.
Which I'm thinking of bringing what I say to her counsler.
Does that make sense?
This makes no sense. At all.
What are you talking about? You tell friends and random people about disagreements? And they think you're right? Is that what you are trying to say? If that is the case - stop telling everyone about what should stay between you and your girlfriend and also realize that regardless of whether you are "right" or not - you are probably putting a spin on the situation while telling it to other people. Most people do that whether they mean to or not. And lastly, making sure everyone knows you are "right" is not the way to have a healthy relationship.
It's like that even though I know I'm right on certain things and if I tell it to someone else of what is happening between girlfriend and me they would agree.
My girlfriend, goes to counsling sometimes and listens.
Basically come to think of if, would it be better that if I go to counsling with her and tell the counsler about something that I know I'm right on, would that work? Especially since my girlfriend goes to counsling and had suggested that someday we do/should go to counsling?
You already know you are right so why do you need verification?
Is whatever this you know you are right about so important to cause potential friction between you and your girlfriend?
Do you want to go to counseling just to tell her counselor that you are right and the counselor should tell her so she will finally believe you are right?
It appears you feel the need for verification and think using a counselor for your own agenda is a good thing since your agenda does not include working out actual real issues you may have, not just to have them tell someone else that you are right.
Since you haven't mentioned what you are right about I would say you are probably wrong and until I know what you think you are right about so I can decide, you will always be wrong.
OP - based solely on the title of this thread, in my opinion you should seek counseling for the simple fact that you think "I KNOW I am right on certain things".
Counseling may help unblock the self built walls inside of your head.
It's like that even though I know I'm right on certain things and if I tell it to someone else of what is happening between girlfriend and me they would agree.
Just because you and your buddies think alike, you think it's a gospel?
You definitely need to get a professional consult, probably more than your GF.
Okay ,whenever I ask her to tell me everything such as being truthful to me(or if I by mistake think she is cheating on me) she get's a attitude, cries out and claims that "I got trust issues" along with threating about leaving me or wanting to leave me.
While on the other hand, whenever she ask for my passwords to my Facebook account, email, asks for my phone and ask me where I'm at and what I'm doing. I tell her and give her those things WITH NO PROBLEM.
ALONG with TELLING HER EVERYTHING UPFRONT. WITH NO LIES
She even think i'm doing something with my good friend (which we been good friends since june 2012 who is a 40 something year old man name rony by the way) but i don't get mad cause I know how she feels.
Besides, I look at her jealousy as a good thing if you know what I mean.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
This makes no sense. At all.
What are you talking about? You tell friends and random people about disagreements? And they think you're right? Is that what you are trying to say? If that is the case - stop telling everyone about what should stay between you and your girlfriend and also realize that regardless of whether you are "right" or not - you are probably putting a spin on the situation while telling it to other people. Most people do that whether they mean to or not. And lastly, making sure everyone knows you are "right" is not the way to have a healthy relationship.
Okay, this is what I talk to others about(its also from my last post);
Just because you and your buddies think alike, you think it's a gospel?
You definitely need to get a professional consult, probably more than your GF.
This is what I talk about to others, from my last post;
Okay ,whenever I ask her to tell me everything such as being truthful to me(or if I by mistake think she is cheating on me) she get's a attitude, cries out and claims that "I got trust issues" along with threating about leaving me or wanting to leave me.
While on the other hand, whenever she ask for my passwords to my Facebook account, email, asks for my phone and ask me where I'm at and what I'm doing. I tell her and give her those things WITH NO PROBLEM.
ALONG with TELLING HER EVERYTHING UPFRONT. WITH NO LIES
She even think i'm doing something with my good friend (which we been good friends since june 2012 who is a 40 something year old man name rony by the way) but i don't get mad cause I know how she feels.
Besides, I look at her jealousy as a good thing if you know what I mean.
You are in for an eye opener. Getting approval from your beer/tree smoking buddies isn't the same as getting the approval of a third party counselor. Therapists aren't paid to be a referee, they are there to help with conflict resolution, help you with communicating. Can't wait to hear about how the therapist is ganging up against you, with your girlfriend...lol...just because you find it necessary to give her all your passwords does not entitle you to her's.....grow up, are you in high school? BTW news flash: Jealousy is not a good thing, and trying to get someone to feel jealous in order to control them, is passive aggressive behavior, and is a form of domestic violence.....
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