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Since you have experienced it I will once again state my belief that court is a joke. I got ripped by the judge because I kept my emotions under control and didn't whine. Ex whined, looked pathetic and she sided with him. Go figure. Just get thru it with as much dignity and honor as you can. Good luck.
I think you should call the court and ask if Team Idiot Boy will be permitted in the judge's chambers. I don't think they can be there if you don't want them to. If they are allowed, it will only show Team IB against you, which could work to your advantage psychologically with the judge and could reinforce IB's whack sense of entitlement and cause him to feel confident enough to show his true colors easier then if he was just there with his attorney. But the stress on you wouldn't be worth it, IMO, so if you have the choice to allow them or not, I'd say NO DEAL.
You probably will not be in a court room, so, if possible, enter the chambers first and sit to the judge's right-hand side. Also, if you can do it without being noticed, when you sit down, if the chair has one of those pneumatic up and down levers, lower the chair a bit. Not enough to look like Edith Ann, but enough to make IB appear bigger and you smaller. And wearing your scrubs is great- paints a nurturing, care-giving picture.
With all the documentation that you have provided, it wouldn't suprise me if his team of legal minds tries to get a postponement. I'm sure that they would prefer to have this hearing when he is on his own and has some verifiable living expenses. Lots of legal ways to delay and that is the name of the game- delay, delay, delay.
I am home now. I got a call from the school nurse, L is sick. Stomach pains.
She was fine alst night and this morning, really seems ok now, I am wondering if she has some anxiety about going today with him.
I spilled gas all over my arm and bracelets, shoes, and it is on my cell phone and keys! WTG!
Then, I came inside and gave her some Pepto, and the Lucy cat had to be right under my feet, so she got the pink liquid all over her coat.
Whats orange and tan and pink all over?
Yep! Its Lucy cat! dum dum dum!
The last time I went ugh he just called me....blagh
the last time I went to court, we were in the court room, he was seated on the right of the judge, and I was immediately called to the stand.
He never spoke a word, his mother and brother in law seated behind him. His lawyer asking me all kinds of questions, as well as the judge asking me things.
Here is my question... will the smel of the gas go away fr my phone and keys and bracelet? I washed the bracelet when I washed my arms... everything reaks of gas!
I refaxed everything to the lawyer today to make suer eshe got it, called and left a vm for her assistant to call me to confirm that she recd it before and today, heard nothing back.
Try some lemon juice to cut the gasoline smell. Also, a vinagar solution with water might cut some of the smell. If it is sunny, then place the items out in the sun for a bit to see if that will cut the smell. DH gets diesel on him and this is what I do, I am highly sensitive to certain smells and try to avoid prompting an allergy attack.
You might try sending an email with a return read receipt to ask for confirmation of the sent fax, this way you leave a sort of 'paper trail' in case she claims she did not get the information.
Any kind of grease cutting hand cleaner should help to get it off of the skin, or even some dishwashing soap.
Some good soaps to have around the house are Lava, Orange Goop, GoJo Hand Cleaner ($1 -$2 at Walmart), even Goo Gone (Citrus Solvent for removing stains, chewing gum etc...).
Laundry detergent might help too.
So help me to get this straight. If X2B signed the agreement, then the custody issues are temporary resolved (once it's approved by the judge and until a divorce decree is issued once it has been filed for)? That leaves only monetary/support issues left to be resolved either by consent of the parties or by judicial order?
The other question is, once the custody agreement issues are approved, then X2B is not actually being ordered to exercise his visitation, but rather that visitation is always at his option. So he could actually save money by not exercising his visitation rights, right? (or wrong?). If that's right, then it's in his interest to argue for more visitation rights but only to not exercise them. It would end up costing you the extra money to feed the kids while he receives the discount for not actually taking them.
I realize that this sounds petty, but X2B's nature has always appeared to be rather petty when it comes to dollars and cents (among other things). I'm sure that lots of dads don't exercise all of their visitation, and it's understandable especially if they don't have a good household situation or a new relationship of some sort begins. People get sidetracked when they live more distant from the kids and their relationship with them becomes less part of their daily household routine. There's a lot of potential for other kinds of distractions to intervene in their relationships with their children too, especially if a dad is "unhappy".
The truck came from the right, the school bus from the left. L in her bed, all snuggled up like a little kitty.
A and ib arriving here at chimes at the same time.
He parked in my driveway and stood in it. I did not like that at all, normally he parks on the road.
I was on the front porch swing, went and got L up from her sleep, she feels better now.
Earlier, I got her medicine ready to give to him. He brings her bottle, I give the med, just enough for the amt of timie he has them.
I told him that I left him enough so that if he changed his mind and decided to keep them the whole weekend, the medicine would be there for her.
DONT GIVE ME a bunch of CRAP about this. UNDERSTAND?
He handed my bottle back with the amt that he would not need, to keep the kids the full weekend.
I told him I wasn't giving him a bunch of anything about anything... I thought that if he decided to keep them the full weekend and had the medicine that would be hood, and we would not have to meet or anything to be sure that she has her medication.
YOU will meet ME tomorrow at 7pm...OK?
What a jerk.
I don't know who he thinks he is to talk to me like that. I heard a tone in his voice when he called me to let me know he was on his way, didn't like that either.
So, I walked. Once they left, I turned out of my driveway and I just walked. My feet felt light. Felt as though I was just moving my feet foward at a quick steady pace. It felt as though my feet were not even touching the ground, and that I was walking on a cloud.
There was a strangeness about it, but also it felt really good. It is 70 degrees or more outside, with a nice breeze blowing. The neighborhood is alive with people. Everybody is out side doing something.
When I normally get home it is dark, and I see nothing but headlights and tail lights.
I walked a nice little ways. I came back full circle and there was a dead hunting dog on the side of the road
These people just let their dogs loose, maybe they will come back, maybe they wont, but I am gonna git me a deer!
ugh
I walked down the street and got a pepsi, place full of people hanging around.
Tow truck man told me to look at the talking bird they got.
A fake parrot, you touch its nose and it talks.. lol
I touched its nose, knowing it was gonna say something, and still I jumped.... der!
Any kind of grease cutting hand cleaner should help to get it off of the skin, or even some dishwashing soap.
Some good soaps to have around the house are Lava, Orange Goop, GoJo Hand Cleaner ($1 -$2 at Walmart), even Goo Gone (Citrus Solvent for removing stains, chewing gum etc...).
Laundry detergent might help too.
So help me to get this straight. If X2B signed the agreement, then the custody issues are temporary resolved (once it's approved by the judge and until a divorce decree is issued once it has been filed for)? That leaves only monetary/support issues left to be resolved either by consent of the parties or by judicial order?
The other question is, once the custody agreement issues are approved, then X2B is not actually being ordered to exercise his visitation, but rather that visitation is always at his option. So he could actually save money by not exercising his visitation rights, right? (or wrong?). If that's right, then it's in his interest to argue for more visitation rights but only to not exercise them. It would end up costing you the extra money to feed the kids while he receives the discount for not actually taking them.
I realize that this sounds petty, but X2B's nature has always appeared to be rather petty when it comes to dollars and cents (among other things). I'm sure that lots of dads don't exercise all of their visitation, and it's understandable especially if they don't have a good household situation or a new relationship of some sort begins. People get sidetracked when they live more distant from the kids and their relationship with them becomes less part of their daily household routine. There's a lot of potential for other kinds of distractions to intervene in their relationships with their children too, especially if a dad is "unhappy".
Monday is for custody/child support/visitation.
Basically custody and visitation have been agreed upon, he says he signed it.
Go before the judge, and if he did sign, and his lawyer fowards it to the judge, it will be part of our case, and if he sees it fit, it will become written word for visitation and custody, if it is not there, the judge will decide. These things can be ammended.
Child support. They are doing everything possible to make it seem as though I am loaded with money and that he has nothing. They are trying to say that the 380 he gives me per month is actually too much. This is not per child, this is the both together.
They are not using the overtime as part of his income, saying it is optional, but my taxes show that it has been there all along.
A can eat what is being paid in a month.
Yes, visitation can be agreed upon, but he does not have to exercise it, and then he can count the days and say I only have them this many days, I should only pay this much.... or... I can say this is how many days I have them, he needs to pay more. I take them to all of their drs appts and pay all the bills,more, I have to take off work and miss pay to do so.. etc...
He told me in the beginning of all of this it was my choice and my responsibility.
robyn
you need to push that his OT has been steady for years and produce the tax forms to prove this
also stress that he lives rent free.
there has to be a formula that the state uses to figure this.
Yep, I have taxes back to 02.
I wonder if he is going to bring his paystubs???
I can't make him, I wonder if the court has asked him.
Oh geez, I just typed those words and as soon as I did, I remembered that on the back of the subpeonas for custody there are forms that we are supposed to complete.
Why this why that. I am gonna have to dig that stuff out. Wonder if he did his....
when we were still under the same roof, another lawyer advised him to get all of his financial things out of the house.
One day I was looking for his social security num, I have it in my head, but sometimes I get the middle 2 numbers turned around, and they were forms I was filling out having to do with the kids.
I was looking for a paystub and they were all gone, years worth.
Asked him about it later that day... he wanted to know why I was looking in his stuff, and that he had long since removed that, that this lawyer told him to get anything out of the house that I can use against him... whatever.
I just verified it through an old insurance card.
He is so rude. Talking to me any way he wants to like that... dont give me a bunch of crap....
Well, he might talk to you like that, but I can lay money he will not talk to a judge like that. And if you have to produce ALL financial records, then he should have to produce ALL financial records as well, including OT pay.
I am so very glad to see that his verbal abuse does not get to you as much as before. You are so totally with it now, and it shows in your posts...To be able to go off walking after he tries his junk on you, to be able to do that and enjoy the walk whereas before you would be thinking of this and that....I am so very proud of you Robyn. You simply amaze me with your inner strength and togetherness.
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Just a walkin'
