Picking up your date vs. meeting them somewhere (girl, reason, honest)
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I actually prefer driving myself to dates. I like being able to leave if I need/want to. Especially if it's someone I don't know very well.
OP, I feel for you. Anxiety is awful and people who've never experienced it don't understand what it's like and how frustrating it is when you know your fears are irrational, but you can't help them. A good therapist might be able to help you. The thing about anxiety is the more you avoid the things that make you anxious the more anxious they make you. For me, I find proving to myself I can do the things that trigger me helps me manage it. I hope you can overcome your fears and find a guy who is supportive of you.
I actually prefer driving myself to dates. I like being able to leave if I need/want to. Especially if it's someone I don't know very well.
OP, I feel for you. Anxiety is awful and people who've never experienced it don't understand what it's like and how frustrating it is when you know your fears are irrational, but you can't help them. A good therapist might be able to help you. The thing about anxiety is the more you avoid the things that make you anxious the more anxious they make you. For me, I find proving to myself I can do the things that trigger me helps me manage it. I hope you can overcome your fears and find a guy who is supportive of you.
Great advice!
I'm not a professional, but I believe that anxiety is based on things you've built up in your mind, rather than reality.
My mother is a very anxious person, worries constantly, and she can't get control over her thoughts. She believes she can't control them, they just happen, when in reality, she's perhaps just not mentally strong enough to take control of them.
I think if you can face your (self-created) fears, it will empower you and build your strength.
I'm not a professional, but I believe that anxiety is based on things you've built up in your mind, rather than reality.
My mother is a very anxious person, worries constantly, and she can't get control over her thoughts. She believes she can't control them, they just happen, when in reality, she's perhaps just not mentally strong enough to take control of them.
I think if you can face your (self-created) fears, it will empower you and build your strength.
I don't think it is about being mentally strong enough. First of all, one will never endeavor to TRY that which they believe is impossible. But as one who has long advocating controlling feelings, I think that is the wrong way to see it. I think the important distinction is to recognize them, accept them, and not allow them to hurt you.
Anyone who is interested in peaceful living should do some reading on mindfulness.
I actually prefer driving myself to dates. I like being able to leave if I need/want to. Especially if it's someone I don't know very well.
OP, I feel for you. Anxiety is awful and people who've never experienced it don't understand what it's like and how frustrating it is when you know your fears are irrational, but you can't help them. A good therapist might be able to help you. The thing about anxiety is the more you avoid the things that make you anxious the more anxious they make you. For me, I find proving to myself I can do the things that trigger me helps me manage it. I hope you can overcome your fears and find a guy who is supportive of you.
Thanks! I think I just need to take baby steps like driving to a new location each week and going a little farther out each time. I think that I'm stifled more from lack of motivation than the anxiety. I've never had a reason to really want to drive out farther.
Even if he lives somewhat far away? I prefer to only date men who live no more than 30 minutes away because I know I hate driving and I'd feel bad about asking them to drive too far.
You are asking too much.
This is not the 50's. Would he half to open the car door for you too?
This is not the 50's. Would he half to open the car door for you too?
Do you offer gas money?
No, I don't offer gas money to men who pick me up for dates. Besides, I only like to see guys I'm dating once a week. Is it really that big of a deal to drive 25-30 minutes once a week to see someone you're dating? Maybe I've just been spoiled in the past by the guys who've done it.
No, I don't offer gas money to men who pick me up for dates. Besides, I only like to see guys I'm dating once a week. Is it really that big of a deal to drive 25-30 minutes once a week to see someone you're dating? Maybe I've just been spoiled in the past by the guys who've done it.
It would be for you. Is what is good for the goose not good for the gander? Seems like it isn't.
It would be for you. Is what is good for the goose not good for the gander? Seems like it isn't.
No, I'm willing to drive 30 minutes depending on whether I'm familiar with the route I'll be taking and these guys don't have driving anxiety so it's not a fair comparison.
No, I'm willing to drive 30 minutes depending on whether I'm familiar with the route I'll be taking and these guys don't have driving anxiety so it's not a fair comparison.
No, I'm willing to drive 30 minutes depending on whether I'm familiar with the route I'll be taking and these guys don't have driving anxiety so it's not a fair comparison.
The point is nearly entirely moot. You have so many restrictions and caveats, that you have reduced your pool to nil, likely. I guess that means you get to continue posting here about how un-datable you are! That is always a plus!
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