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To Oceangaia: I ended the fwb when I started dating Rob. Rob is a wonderful lover - just different from Sam and that's not a boad thing. Also you asked if Sam has "a bigger tool." That's actually funny because Rob has him beat on that one hands down! And no, I do not lust after Sam.
To jsun556: You said I "did stuff with him that she hasn't with me". Yes. And that's a big problem for Rob and I can see why. Doesn't make him feel special . I know.
To oceangaia: Like I said before, I wasn't "doing Sam" while I dated Rob. I stopped everything with Sam about two weeks after Rob and I went on our firswt date. At least that's something that I did not mess up
Also to oceangaia: This is EXACTLY how Rob feel when you said: "many men want a girl who thinks he is the best and most attractive man ever to her - who gives it up quick for him but made the others wait, who does the nasty things with him that she refused the others." In Rob's eyes he got the opposite. This is an area that I could really use some advice on. Telling him to get over it etc is not going to work. I need to explain it and hopefully change his viewpoint.
This is an area that I could really use some advice on. Telling him to get over it etc is not going to work. I need to explain it and hopefully change his viewpoint.
All I can contribute is what I suggested in Post #152. Good luck.
Mod note: Post numbers have changed due to deletions.
To The_Dimwit: Of course I'm going to do with Rob what I did with others. And yes, I did get caught in a major lie. I know this. Part of it was to protect the image of me that I wanted Robert to have. But another part was so that Rob did not feel weird about our pasts. He's had few partners and I've had more. I know that guys wants their "number" to be higher than their wives' "number" so a part of me wanted to spare his feelings I guess. As far as how Rob "stacks up with other men", he has absolutely nothing to worry about. As I said before, he's actually "big" AND he uses it well. He really does stack up the best. Thing is, if I just say that, he'll figure I'm giving him a line since I have not mentioned it at all in the past.
To jsun556: Yeah, Rob did ask Sam did tell him. Kinda sucks. I hate Sam for telling and I'm dissappointed that Rob asked. And yeah, I guess guys go for the facts, you're right.
To Tele-Cat: No, you're wrong because I AM sorry and not because I got caught. I know I was being self serving but I did it because I really really want things to work out for Rob and me. So I amabsolutely sorry and I've told that to Rob many times
To MarcAllen242: I wasn't really "seeing them both at the same time." I was never actually seeing Sam - it was a fwb. But I know that's a technicality. So to answer straight, I was with Sam for about a couple of weeks after my first date with Rob. I cut off the Sam thing quickly cause like I said before I saw that Rob was a keeper right away. So no, it is not like I cheated on him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliChick
To bxlefty: Your comment about a guy not wanting to wait while his buddy got it right away is exactly how Rob feels . BUT, it's not fair to say that I made Rob jump thru hoops while i ****ed around.
Orphaned.
To Oceangaia: I ended the fwb when I started dating Rob. Rob is a wonderful lover - just different from Sam and that's not a boad thing. Also you asked if Sam has "a bigger tool." That's actually funny because Rob has him beat on that one hands down! And no, I do not lust after Sam.
You have contradicted yourself once again. If you saw Rob was a keeper right away you would have cut things with Sam BEFORE your first date with Rob.
Beyond anything else though this entire situation is exactly why "Friends With Benefits" is NOT reality.
One cannot have casual sex with someone from their social group without having hurt feelings somewhere down the line. IF you want casual sex have it but have it with someone you NEVER see socially or at work or who knows any of your friends. You get together, you have sex, you shower and you leave. No socializing, no going out for lunch/supper/drinks/dancing. NO CONTACT unless you are having sex.
To jsun556: Yeah, Rob did ask Sam did tell him. Kinda sucks. I hate Sam for telling and I'm dissappointed that Rob asked. And yeah, I guess guys go for the facts, you're right.
How can you hate someone for doing what you should have done which is TELL THE TRUTH???
PS ~~ You really should show Rob how easily it is for you to post specific details about his manhood on a public forum.
Do Not start a marriage out on a lie step up to the plate and tell him . If he does not forgive you then that is on him ,and be prepared he might end the relationship but hey it will hurt for awhile . You will survive but you must be upfront with him . I wish you luck it is hard .
You have contradicted yourself once again. If you saw Rob was a keeper right away you would have cut things with Sam BEFORE your first date with Rob.
Beyond anything else though this entire situation is exactly why "Friends With Benefits" is NOT reality.
One cannot have casual sex with someone from their social group without having hurt feelings somewhere down the line. IF you want casual sex have it but have it with someone you NEVER see socially or at work or who knows any of your friends. You get together, you have sex, you shower and you leave. No socializing, no going out for lunch/supper/drinks/dancing. NO CONTACT unless you are having sex.
How would she have known he was a keeper before she started dating him?
Also to oceangaia: This is EXACTLY how Rob feel when you said: "many men want a girl who thinks he is the best and most attractive man ever to her - who gives it up quick for him but made the others wait, who does the nasty things with him that she refused the others." In Rob's eyes he got the opposite. This is an area that I could really use some advice on. Telling him to get over it etc is not going to work. I need to explain it and hopefully change his viewpoint.
Explain it? Or change it? You can't change that you slept with Sam faster than Rob but you can change what you do with Rob and do everything with him that you did with Sam and then some. Or do you not want to do that but want Rob to just accept that he gets less?
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