Slept with 2 people on a short break (guys, cheated, engagement)
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IMO, she is done, the only thing that is left is for you to continue to be her meal ticket. She is a player, accept it, or move on.
+1. The OP's fiancé has already moved on. Someone who is in love doesn't jump so quickly into sleeping with TWO other people in just 2 weeks time. The OP's whole description of his fiancé sounds like a woman who isn't a good match for the OP. If it was a good match, she wouldn't have done the things she did. Breaks are really bad for relationships. For me personally, I doubt I will ever take a planned break from a relationship in the future.
OP please move on, with out the fiancé.
This OP and the whole friends with ex-s/o's is why I am not a huge fan of people I date that are friends with ex-s/o's or ex-FWB's. (when kids are involved, it is different) Those can of worms can open on at any time.
She is definitely setting you up to be cuckold. She is putting it in your head that you are the reason she wants other ment's. That's garbage. I know it's painful and no one wants to find out something like this but you need to thank your lucky stars you found out now before you got into that legally binding contract known as marriage. So many find out after the ring goes on. And she confessed to 2 "hook ups". That does not necessarily mean those were the only ones and that they only occured during your "short break". I've heard that one before only to find out that the hookup occured just before the break up. There is no need for you to try and find out if this is the case, you already have enough information to know this woman will cheat on you down the road. She's already trying to put it in your head that it will be your fault. She believes you are not strong enough to leave her. And seeing how she just dropped all that knowledge on you and you are still around and asking a forum what you should do, reinforces her belief. You need to run.
Location: The back alleys of Hong Kong and sometimes Brussels, Belgium
242 posts, read 269,904 times
Reputation: 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by maineguy80
My fiancée 25 who I 33 have been with for 2.5 years just told me the other night that when we took a break she slept with her ex and another friend of hers. She always told me that she never had anything for the friend but I know that’s not true, she dated the boyfriend years ago but was friends with him. I never was fond of this but she always reinforced that she was with me and broke up with him so why would she want to do anything with him. So she tells me this because it was killing her and “needed to get this off her mind” I find that BS because now I have to deal with it. She also talked about not being happy in bed and danced around the fact that people are not able to be monogamous. This was all a shock to me; I always viewed her as a person with high values. We don’t have the best sex life but we talk and try new things and things that we both enjoy, but she says this is not enough for her and “I need to do more”. This is my problem when we had the break we did not move out it was about 2 weeks and it was her who wanted the break because of her past and having issues. She told me we need a break but we would not date anyone else. So that was a year and a half ago. We are going to get married in 6 months and she tells me this all now. I have a feeling that she, form when we talked is going to want to be free to sleep with other guys, I not okay with anything like that. Now I find myself hurt form her doing this and also what may happen. I see all theses this that now I am starting to connect the dots that now look much different with this information. She has many male friends and dated mostly all of them, she also told me about other people she slept with before us that she always said she never did that she is friends with. I just have the feeling that this is not the full truth. I was going to adopt her little girl who does not have a father, but now I think that may be a big mistake. I always told her because of my past, have been cheated in before to please never do that to me. She says it was not cheating because we were on a break. I don’t, we lived together still and talked about not seeing anyone else. She also said she felt guilty about this. So I think she is just trying to say something that makes her look as good as she can. I feel very hurt and she does not seem to think it’s a big deal.
Should I leave her and restart my life?
Sorry for your troubles. Seems that little break was her way of getting some of the sex out of her system. Who's to say she won't end up cheating if you do get married? Based on how easily it was for her to open her legs to 2 other men while on her little hiatus away from you, I would give it a 65% chance of her cheating on you at some point in the future if you guys got married. If I was in your shoes, I would just end it with her, and start the healing process for yourself. I have a bad feeling that if you stay that pain will be in your future. Women like this are too unsure of what and who they want, and are emotionally disabled. A nice guy doesn't deserve to be put through her indecisive ways. Good luck!
Location: The back alleys of Hong Kong and sometimes Brussels, Belgium
242 posts, read 269,904 times
Reputation: 195
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prairieparson
IMHO, Dump her now. My guess is that once you're married, she'll want to take a break here and there. Sounds like she's looking for a man with a paycheck. I dated a woman once who "joked", that she thought she should marry some rich guy, and just keep me on the side for sex. Your girlfriend may have similar plans.
Funny you mentioned dating someone who 'joked' that they wanted you on the side for sex. I dated a woman like that too. It's even funnier how easy it is for them to 'joke' about something like that. Shows you exactly what kind of person they are. Might as well order an escort when you have someone like those kinds of women in your life.
You have no kids and are hoping to marry this woman with a daughter? She is hot. Probably the hottest thing that will give you the time of day. Her ex and her friends want to sleep with her.
Regardless what we tell you....you aint leaving her. She pretty much owns you.
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