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Your experiment is quite interesting JetJockey! However, I wonder if the results you got can be interpreted in a slightly different way. The way I see it, your experiment doesn't necessarily confirm that "mean" girls get guys, but rather that "doormats" tend to let the wrong type of women walk over them. It makes me wonder if those guys that let you treat them like dirt are the authors of the ubiquitous "nice guy" threads that this forum is plagued with.
To me, the mentality of these men revolve around the idea that "no attention is bad attention." In other words, the fact that you are giving them any sort of stimulus, whether that be positive or negative, is giving them positive vibes and thus give them the green light to pursue you. I think this says less about the attraction of a "bad" girl and more about them losing all rational thought when a female speaks to them.
Guys who are doormats can range no matter how "intelligent" a person is; be that person with a doctorate or a High School dropout. Some very intelligent people just may not have as much "social intelligence as they do with their cognitive abilities. Think of Keith Olbermann. The guy is a genius, and has an extremely high I.Q., but he is extremely socially awkward and manages to tick everyone else that he works with off before getting fired. Like him, some people just struggle socially, be they intelligent or not.
I looked at your profile picture and you are a very attractive woman! You don't need to be "mean" to attract men, and even if you were "mean" and guys liked that, chances are they would be the wrong type of men.
Good luck with these weak, pathetic doormats. I don't care how "successful" they are- a lot of these guys are still sad and pathetic- If I met you at a bar and you acted like a *****, no offense, but you would have gotten a "**** YOU, *****" right to your face.
Guys like the ones you describe are absolutely pathetic, and I am not surprised that they make up the majority of guys out there nowadays- it explains why so many women can get away with this bitchy, adversarial, nasty attitude and these fools just follow these women around little puppy dogs- PATHETIC!
+1 Really, pour a drink on somebody? I thought that was something that only happened in the movies. ANY women who ever poured a drink on me for no good reason is going to get the sh#+ slapped out of them.
Well, It worked with these guys, But IMO If you tripped me or asked boldly for me to buy you drinks in this manner, Or had an attitude, I would have told you to take a hike! I understand this was a social experiment and not the real you. Just an alt view here.
I am nice, But have enough confidence not to be played, Esp from a stranger.
Yup, any women "demanding" that I buy her a drink is going to get told off.
I get the point of your experiment, but if I had poured a drink on someone, especially if unprovoked, my guy friends would have sat there & laughed while I was knocked into 2015. Nah, they would have helped me out but that would likely be my last invite to go out with them.
JJ: At the risk of sounding like a sad cliche, don't go changing into someone you're not. From posts on here, I can tell that you are an admirable woman.
Interesting that it worked... I was sorta hoping it wouldn't, but hey. People are messed up.
So, you mentioned that you felt bad for doing some of this stuff. Was it that you regret what you said as soon as you said it or did it just sort of dawn on you after a few hours?
Well, I don't regret anything, to be honest. I was actually hoping I'd be kicked out of the bars (which is why I covered my tattoos) and go home realizing that most people have a 'line' of bitchiness that I crossed, but I was surprised at how friendly everyone was. When I dress normally and act like myself I get completely ignored, regardless of how much makeup I wear, or what clothing I wear (unless it's super low cut), so I wasn't expecting my attitude to change so many things. I just felt like the whole thing was a lie.. the clothes, the hair, the heavy makeup, the acting...everything. I usually treat everyone with respect unless they do something to prove otherwise and it was hard for me to be mean to someone without knowing them.
As for the alpha male stuff, it's pretty obvious where I live who the 'alpha males' are. They're the ones wearing the TapOut shirts with backwards hats and muscles. They usually drive lifted trucks and boss people around, these are specifically the men I targeted.
And I took the numbers instead of giving mine out (they DID all ask for my phone number) because that was a line I wasn't going to cross. I figured, if I took their numbers I could 'lose them' and it's no big deal. If I gave them a fake number I'd be disturbing someone else with phone calls and pissing these guys off. Not smart.
All in all, I'm glad I did it, and I think it affected me in a wholly different way than I thought it would... I actually came out of it with some pointers for meeting men. I'm not going to be a mean girl because there's no way I could do that regularly, but I am going to be a little pushier and maybe hide my education and hobbies at first. Perhaps that will help
There's no reason to act mean.. but you know it doesn't hurt to maybe act like a girl sometimes either.
Guys like girls who drink beer and like cars, but if you are TOO manly and don't act like a girl at all it can be a little bit of a pain. Think of the girly-men out there and the guys who are just WAY feminine. They don't fare too well either.
I think this is the op's problems. I've been reading some of her post. It seems like she doesn't dress up, she has a big tattoo, she hangs around nothing but dudes, she's a mechanic or something, some type of blue collar. Its not that she's too nice or too mean, dudes my like to hang around her, but most guys(not all) don't want to date a chick like that. In my opinion she needs to be more feminent
Pretty disappointed in you, JJ. And anyone(male or female) that poured a drink on me would have gotten a size 12 rammed up their ass.
Well, it got me a phone number and a fresh drink in this case. I actually didn't really mean to do it in the first place but it just happened to work out that way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 14Bricks
Yup, any women "demanding" that I buy her a drink is going to get told off.
That's what I keep hearing, but it worked for me two out of three times.
Well, it got me a phone number and a fresh drink in this case. I actually didn't really mean to do it in the first place but it just happened to work out that way.
And if a guy responds to that, is that a guy you really want?
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