My Weekend 'mean girl' Experiment (kids, attractive, call, social)
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Yeah ?
Or did it prove that a section of men liked a confident woman who'd approach them and save them all the work ?
I frequently approach men, and its never worked when I was myself. I pour a drink on a guy or demand he buys one for me and it's confident? I consider that extremely rude and thoughtless, not confidence.
It's a fine line between being confident and being rude, but sometimes you have to be confident to actually be rude.
I've done a bit of sales work, and to make the sale, you can't be mousy and quiet, you have to be pushy, to go for it, make it happen. It won't come to you.
Approaching potential suitors is no different.
In a club, the confident, slightly rude approach has a farly good chance of working. In a library, or in the park of an afternoon, maybe not so much.
If you approach 10 guys and basically say "hey honey, wanna buy me a drink?" Law of averages suggests you're gonna get a few drinks out of it.
If you approach the same 10 guys and say "hi, I saw you from over there, and, ummm, I was wondering, ummm, if you'd, ummm".........
You just won't get the same results.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey
I frequently approach men, and its never worked when I was myself. I pour a drink on a guy or demand he buys one for me and it's confident? I consider that extremely rude and thoughtless, not confidence.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,081,790 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey
I frequently approach men, and its never worked when I was myself. I pour a drink on a guy or demand he buys one for me and it's confident? I consider that extremely rude and thoughtless, not confidence.
Yes that's a weird definition of 'confidence.' How come your approaches never worked out? Were they intimidated by your size? Maybe you weren't obvious enough with your intentions and they misconstrued it was just a friendly approach, especially if they didn't immediately see you as dateable?
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,081,790 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobman
It's a fine line between being confident and being rude, but sometimes you have to be confident to actually be rude.
I've done a bit of sales work, and to make the sale, you can't be mousy and quiet, you have to be pushy, to go for it, make it happen. It won't come to you.
Approaching potential suitors is no different.
In a club, the confident, slightly rude approach has a farly good chance of working.
In a library, or in the park of an afternoon, maybe not so much.
I'd like to know of anybody who has actually approached someone in a library with the intention of asking them out or hitting on them. I still go to the library and I seldom even see people my age.
Yes that's a weird definition of 'confidence.' How come your approaches never worked out? Were they intimidated by your size? Maybe you weren't obvious enough with your intentions and they misconstrued it was just a friendly approach, especially if they didn't immediately see you as dateable?
I know my looks (height, build, tattoos, scars etc) are a problem, but it's nothing I can change. If a man isn't attracted to me there's really nothing I can do to change that. I do think I come across as too friendly and I also think I'm going to keep my job and education secret from now on, at least in the initial stages. I'm definitely going to try some new stuff
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,081,790 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey
I know my looks (height, build, tattoos, scars etc) are a problem, but it's nothing I can change. If a man isn't attracted to me there's really nothing I can do to change that. I do think I come across as too friendly and I also think I'm going to keep my job and education secret from now on, at least in the initial stages. I'm definitely going to try some new stuff
Maybe they might be intimidating by you at first, but then when they find out you're such a nice person might just...I guess perhaps they're just not USED to you, and if you spent more time being with them something would blossom? I mean I definitely think you should still be yourself, but it probably won't hurt to be a little more um...'mysterious', I guess.
Good luck with these weak, pathetic doormats. I don't care how "successful" they are- a lot of these guys are still sad and pathetic- If I met you at a bar and you acted like a *****, no offense, but you would have gotten a "**** YOU, *****" right to your face.
Guys like the ones you describe are absolutely pathetic, and I am not surprised that they make up the majority of guys out there nowadays- it explains why so many women can get away with this bitchy, adversarial, nasty attitude and these fools just follow these women around little puppy dogs- PATHETIC!
So, I mentioned in a few threads that this weekend I was going to try to be a 'mean girl' and just see what happened. So, I put on my big girl jeans (as well as a TON of makeup...yick) and went out on the town.
I got 6 phone numbers. SIX FREAKING PHONE NUMBERS. I actually got in an argument with some guy, poured a gin and tonic on him and he asked me out. He also bought me another gin and tonic.
I tripped someone and laughed at him, he gave me a hug and asked if I wanted to hang out sometime.
I told some guy his car sounded lame and that maybe he should be hitting on men instead of women (it hurt me to say this, to be honest ) and rolled my eyes. No smile, dead serious. He laughed and asked if I wanted to go for a drive sometime.
I TOLD 3 guys to buy me drinks. One said no, the others did with no hesitation. I didn't even say thank you, got my drink and walked away. One of them followed me around asking me out until I left.
A few other things happened, but those were the biggies.
Maybe I should just start acting mean to get dates. I had one of them write his number on a cocktail napkin, I looked at it, said I changed my mind and tore it up. He proceeded to try and give me his business card.
Wow. I'm just stunned. It took a lot out of me to act this way (I'm never mean unless provoked) so I don't plan on doing it again, but it still shocked me.
But hey, at least I can't say I've never been hit on anymore
Wow..I hope you had someone with you watching your back when you did all this! You took a big chance doing something like this and had to be pretty dang bored to attempt an experiment like this one. Sadly, I think guys hit on mean girls like this because they tend to prove to be "easy" or "looser" than a good girl. You could have ended up with lots more than you bargained for that is for sure. No, don't do this sort of thing again. The world just isn't a safe place any longer for women to behave in this fashion..these guys were definitely thinking you would put out for them. Time to put those "big girl pants" back on "front to" and be who you really are!
I find this completely believable. Many guys out there just like a challenge and see this sort of behavior as just that. It is classic "alpha male" mentality. JJ, I relayed your story to my wife who was sitting right next to me as I read it, and she suggested that for many guys, it may be a sort of "endorsement" or confirmation to themselves of how great they are if they can get a girl like you (the experimental you) to date them. I think she may be on to something.
I would argue that the guys who gave you their numbers feel they have something to prove. These guys may be decent people in reality, but deep down inside have some sort of insecurity or need to be validated by others on a constant basis. I am not a psychologist, so that will be the extent of my analysis.
An interesting experiment and some amusing stories to tell. Thank you for posting.
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I still go to the library and I seldom even see people my age.
) and rolled my eyes. No smile, dead serious. He laughed and asked if I wanted to go for a drive sometime. 
