Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm 28 and spent the better part of my 20s in a live-in relationship. After 4 years living together and the relationship being completely stale, I've realized that I simply don't want to live with a man unless there's a ring on my finger. Supporting him, managing the household and then realizing that he was only with me because of those things with no real commitment on his end made me realize that I do have a time limit. I do want the marriage, and the children eventually and I won't have children out of wedlock, so I figure if there isn't talk of marriage within 2 years and a proposal (and I don't mean literal proposal, more of a solid talk between me and my future husband that this is where the relationship is heading) then it's probably not going to happen and I'll move on.
There are plenty of married men who aren't committed. Titles, rings, and paper dont make a relationship. Love, trust, and respect do. All things you can have without being married or things you can not have even though you are married.
I'm 28 and spent the better part of my 20s in a live-in relationship. After 4 years living together and the relationship being completely stale, I've realized that I simply don't want to live with a man unless there's a ring on my finger. Supporting him, managing the household and then realizing that he was only with me because of those things with no real commitment on his end made me realize that I do have a time limit. I do want the marriage, and the children eventually and I won't have children out of wedlock, so I figure if there isn't talk of marriage within 2 years and a proposal (and I don't mean literal proposal, more of a solid talk between me and my future husband that this is where the relationship is heading) then it's probably not going to happen and I'll move on.
I'm not getting any younger here!
Two years? What's he going to discover about you in two more years that he hasn't discovered in his four years of living with you? I'm just curious, if you wanted marriage, did you wait 4 years to bring the subject up?
I personally know a couple like this which is why I'd be extremely hesitant to live with a man before marriage. They've been together for over 30 years and he never married her and she's always resented him for it, but she's been with him for so long that she doesn't want to start all over again.
That is the saddest thing I have heard today. And yet, there are people within this very thread who feel that a woman, having morals/standards/boundaries by requiring marriage (not accepting living together) is acting in a desperate fashion. Trapping yourself with a man who is cavalierly using you, and you feel to emotionally beat-down by the situation to leave, and it's been going on 30 years?
Not sure men want to get married as badly as women or if men dream about that magical proposal night and wedding since they are children just like little girls. I normally hear women say that men are commitment-phobic.
If someone wants to get married why bring it up and propose (whatever gender has the urge to get married)?
Some of these stories are blowing my hair back they are so frightful. If a woman honestly doesn't want marriage and wants to live with her man, okay, she's an adult and it's her choice. But she should NOT be angry, vengeful and bitter when he refuses to marry her after having her for months and years as a commonlaw wife. IMHO, a man, who I would consider spending the rest of my life with would not even conceive of asking me to living with him without getting married. I wouldn't settle. The stakes are too high to just settle for less than what you want.
Two years? What's he going to discover about you in two more years that he hasn't discovered in his four years of living with you? I'm just curious, if you wanted marriage, did you wait 4 years to bring the subject up?
Re-reading that I realize I didn't clarify
We broke up after 4 years of living together and have been broken up for just about 2 years now. I realized after essentially wasting 4 years of my life with someone who was basically using me until he could find someone better that I have readjusted my standards relationship-wise.
Within that relationship I did bring up marriage, but he said he was too young and that he didn't feel comfortable with that kind of commitment. I found out later that he was with me because I made money and was stable. I found myself the male equivalent of a gold digger
There are plenty of married men who aren't committed. Titles, rings, and paper dont make a relationship. Love, trust, and respect do. All things you can have without being married or things you can not have even though you are married.
To which I would say, that is their life, and that's up to the wife if she tolerates that foolishness. It is unfair to the institution of marriage to reduce it down and objectify it as an industry. It is much more than formal rentals, cake, rings and the so-called "piece of paper".
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
