Ladies, how long would you stay in a relationship without a ring? (girls, love)
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- but that's just me and how I wanted to live my life.
And that's as it should be. The OP would be wise to ask the woman he is involved with this question if he wants a meaningful answer, not go with what the majority on a message board tells him.
I'm seeing a lot of posts from women who have already been married before. What about women in their 20's who have never been married. Would they still be willing to play house?
I'm in my thirties and have never been married. My SO and I have happily been shacking up for five years and counting. We may marry at some point, we may not, but our plans for building a life together are the same in either case. We're on the same page, which is really the important thing. We choose not to combine finances, which would most likely continue to be the case if we were married.
When we met, we'd each been living alone and supporting ourselves as adults for between five and ten years, individually. I don't really consider it playing house, anymore than I consider anything else in my life "playing." Given that I was already an independent, self-supporting adult when we met, and he was as well, us sharing a home and each contributing to shared living expenses really doesn't do anything to change that or somehow scale us back and make us less of grown adults who do as we choose.
Also, if we do get married? Jewelry or lack thereof is a nonissue. I couldn't care less. I know this is hard for some people to wrap their minds around, but it is what it is. To me, the important thing was finding somebody right for me, who found me to be right for him, too. Anything else is cool, but not necessary. In all honesty ALL that matters in this equation is what you want in life, and what your partner wants, and that they are compatible.
There a difference between getting married and WANTING to be married
I honestly don't believe the majority of men(especially today) WANT to get married, or have an urge to get married, especially like most women
Are there guys who want to get married, of course, but I don't think as much as women.
Here's the thing, if u asked most men would you be cool with one of these scenarios
A. Playing the field with different women forever
B. Being with one woman long term, but not officially married
Most guys would take one of those, but they just can't live that lifestyle for a multitude of reasons. So they kindoff settle for marriage
On the other hand, most women don't want to play the field forever(even though they can much easier) or want be just the girlfriend forever, I think that's the difference IMO.
I lived with my boyfriend for two years prior to becoming married. Here's the thing though....we bought a house together. Since that was our only worthwhile asset at the time, I figured it was as good as being married since it would be pretty hard for him to just dump me or me dump him. He ended up proposing to me 6 months after buying the house (enough time to save to buy the modest ring).
I do think age has something to do with it. We were very young when we started dating. We figured we had plenty of time to figure it all out so we didn't rush moving in together. I lived in the college dorms and he lived at home. I resent the notion that men don't want to get married. My husband and I discussed wanting to marry each other after 6 months of dating. It took 5 more years to actually become engaged since we were so young but it was a mutual decision. The "proposal" was simply a gesture and a formality since it had already been discussed and agreed upon many times prior and for many years prior.
If I were dating at the age of 30. I don't think I'd move in with some guy unless we were engaged. I see to many women sucked into 8-9 year live-in situations with no pending engagement. They become extremely bitter and miserable individuals. A few of these women ended up having "accidental" pregnancies and still not getting married (desired result). It's no place I'd ever want to be.
So what you are saying is men are weak and feeble minded. That men will not only marry even though they don’t want to be married, but they will propose, buy a ring and suffer thru the ceremony just to get what they are already getting.
I feel the same way. However, many women are marriage minded.
From my personal experiences, since I wasn't interested in having children, marriage was never my relationship end goal. And I have always been the one to end the relationship, usually after the five year mark and after I became extremely bored with his company. And I have always been comfortable being single and solitary for long periods of time, so I never date just to fill some void in my life. I only date men who I am attracted to and find interesting and intelligent. Good looks aren't enough for me. I am also not afraid to grow old and die without a partner.
And I have always avoided dating any man who talked of one day having kids of his own. I saw no reason for either of us to compromise our long term goals. I also refuse to date anyone who is religious, since I am an atheist. Before I begin the dating process, I chose to analyze our compatibility quotient. If I see potential obstacles in our way, I abort the process immediately, even if I am crushing on him.
That's pretty much how I look at it.
In fact, I said flat-out when my SO and I started dating: "If you want kids, I am not the one for you."
He asked if I ever wanted to get married again. I said, "I wouldn't rule it out, but it's not a goal of mine."
That was 5 1/2 years ago.
Uh-oh! The dreaded five-year mark! Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!
(Just kidding. He's all right. I'll keep him for now. )
I personally know a couple like this which is why I'd be extremely hesitant to live with a man before marriage. They've been together for over 30 years and he never married her and she's always resented him for it, but she's been with him for so long that she doesn't want to start all over again.
This is sad because at this rate shes never getting married.
And that's a fear a lot of women have, wasting valuable time( especially in their prime years) with a guy who wont commit long term.
For the rest of my life. I can see no compelling reason to get married again.
I was married before, over 10 years go. Divorce was not my idea, I had no choice.
Been with my guy now for 10 years. I have no interest in being married again. Sometime he talks about being married, but there is no real reason to be. Living in sin is much more fun!
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