Ladies, how long would you stay in a relationship without a ring? (divorce, living together)
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Actually it isn't a lie at all. I have personally known quite a number of couples who had the man push for marriage and the woman not overly concerned with it.
What's with all the sweeping generalisations?
Add me to that list. My husband asked me to marry him within months of our becoming exclusive. It took a number of years to get me down the aisle. It's been a mixed bag among my friends.
Oh I thought you were american. well even so, just b/c some of us don't do things the way you do in your country doesn't make us "prudish and backwards." The opposite would be like me saying people in your country are "loose and mixed up."
Americans are known worldwide for their Victorian attitudes about sex and relationships. It's not just me making these observations. I prefer to view these things in a liberal manner because I am a liberal kind of woman who sees the world in shades of colours, not just black and white.
Americans are known worldwide for their Victorian attitudes about sex and relationships. It's not just me making these observations. I prefer to view these things in a liberal manner because I am a liberal kind of woman who sees the world in shades of colours, not just black and white.
That's funny b/c everywhere I look people here are engaging in ONS and FWB, cohabitating left and right. I think it's a bunch of nonsense and partially the reason why they have half the problems in relationships that they do -- but at the end of the day, it's their buisness and I can't control what they do. Oh well. You uses a lot of loaded words that most people wouldn't want to be associated with like 'Victorian attitudes' 'prudish' etc. to explain some people's choices. I'm not going to be guilt tripped into feeling bad about having some kind of standards for myself. But you describes yourself and your views as 'liberal' with a positive meaning because you don't care about cheating and would stay in a relationships without a ring, etc. I see this for what it is.
Americans are known worldwide for their Victorian attitudes about sex and relationships. It's not just me making these observations. I prefer to view these things in a liberal manner because I am a liberal kind of woman who sees the world in shades of colours, not just black and white.
It's true. We seem to a weird combination of in your face sexuality (media, music), and puritanical views.
If you watch our politicians and everything they're being caught at.... I think you can see the result of conflicting views.
Let's be honest here, women who want to get married who date men that dont (or say they aren't sure) are just as at fault as the men.
It's up to you to set parameters from the get-go. If its not going in the direction you want it to then it's your responsibility to leave. I dont know why people wait around for things to happen instead of making them happen.
Exactly.
I don't understand why someone would be stupid enough to enter into a committed relationship without knowing the outcome of that commitment in advance. That's something that ought to be discussed in depth beforehand.
There's only two reasons to commit, and that is to get married (it is effectively a "pre-engagement") or to have sex-on-a-regular-basis and share expenses indefinitely.
Directed towards the OP
I am divorced and my ex husband proposed 2 months after we started dating and told me he loved me 2 weeks after we were dating! He even asked my dad for my hand! We stayed married for 10 years.
Hindsight 20/20? I would have wanted us to date for 3 years and then get engaged and get married after 5 years of being together.
AND even then? It is not a fail safe!
But I feel if you have been in a relationship with someone for 5 years? Have been through some stuff together, have seen each other in the morning, know each other’s families, values and ethics? Nothing hidden, no agenda? Then it is okay to make the plunge.
You are NOW just making official of what the two of you have worked towards since day one up until now.
I do not believe in fast weddings, I was 21 when I got married and I wish I would have waited longer!
Exactly. No body's gonna drag me along for years (plural).
Some people don't mind living like Oprah and Steadman: Living together for over 10 years with no intention of getting married. But I just can't help but to feel that it's a waste of time to do that.
Societies did that in order to keep the bloodlines pure and unquestioned. Men only wanted to raise sons that they knew they sired and for those sons to carry on the family name.
Quote:
And brace yourself for this one.....
The also invented fairy tales. (they're all originally written by men)
Well... not really. Fairy tales were first only an oral art. In other words, they were shared by word of mouth, verbally only. If you are thinking of the Brothers Grimm, their contribution was writing down what already existed.
And only recently, fairy tales were all sugar and spice once Disney got a hold of them. The Grimm fairy tales are actually rather grim and scary in tone. More like cautionary tales for the young. Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tales usually had very tragic endings (The Matchstick Girl, The Little Mermaid).
i would never ask any women to marry me without first actively living with her for at LEAST 3 years
i don't believe you can know another person well enough in a few short months to ask them to commit to a marriage.
i also dont see marriage as a "tool" or something you need to have in a relationship in order to cement its seriousness and show your intentions. that should already be happening with or without a ring in the mix
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