Ladies, how long would you stay in a relationship without a ring? (Christian, cheating)
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Actually it isn't a lie at all. I have personally known quite a number of couples who had the man push for marriage and the woman not overly concerned with it.
Actually it isn't a lie at all. I have personally known quite a number of couples who had the man push for marriage and the woman not overly concerned with it.
What's with all the sweeping generalisations?
yea but djuna, this is not common at all, from waht I know. it's usually other way around because of woman do not mention marriage mostly the males are not concerned with it. why buy cow, when they can get milk for free?
yea but djuna, this is not common at all, from waht I know. it's usually other way around because of woman do not mention marriage mostly the males are not concerned with it. why buy cow, when they can get milk for free?
Quote:
Originally Posted by BradPiff
You KNOW that's a lie
It's funny, because my friends seem to be from both extremes. I have a few girlfriends who are future bridezillas and are basically forcing their boyfriends to marry them, and I have guy friends who hop from woman to woman never using the dreaded g-word. I actually had a male friend who had at least 4 fiances because he said 'they don't cheat if there's a ring on the finger' and would break off the 'wedding' when he got bored.
On the other hand, one of my best friends got married last summer and it took her husband proposing at least once a month for nearly 3 years before she finally agreed. He planned the entire wedding, and he was the one crying during the ceremony while she just went with it all. Another good friend of mine proposed to his girlfriend on their second date and is completely obsessed with marrying her and she really could care less if and when it happens.
So, everyone is different, and every couple goes about things differently.
yea but djuna, this is not common at all, from waht I know. it's usually other way around because of woman do not mention marriage mostly the males are not concerned with it. why buy cow, when they can get milk for free?
I am not American. In NZ we have different expectations and a totally different dating culture.
In my circle of friends from the ages of 20-35ish no-one was married. Everyone lived together. It was perfectly normal and socially acceptable. The US has prudish and backwards ideas about these things in my opinion.
I'm seeing a lot of posts from women who have already been married before. What about women in their 20's who have never been married. Would they still be willing to play house?
I would NEVER play house. If I'm not married I refuse to move in with a guy. Even If I'm just engaged I still wouldn't move in. I have never understood why some women do that and they wonder why the guy won't propose to them.
I would NEVER play house. If I'm not married I refuse to move in with a guy. Even If I'm just engaged I still wouldn't move in. I have never understood why some women do that and they wonder why the guy won't propose to them.
I actually find the expression "play house" rather offensive I must admit. I lived with my now Husband for 21 years before we got married and it was as serious and committed as ANY marriage.
"Play House" infantalises the relationship of people who CHOSE not to marry. I would quite happily put my "play house" relationship against ANY marriage.
One can be deeply in Love, committed to one another, and in a real grown up relationship without a piece of paper. I have never "played house" in my entire life.
I have never understood why some women are so obsessed with marriage as the be and end of it all. It is as though a woman will define herself by the ability to make a man propose to her and marry her. It seems positively archaic to me.
I do find it extraordinary that in the 21st Century there is still some stigma attached to cohabitation in certain parts of the world. Thank Goodness as Djuna mentions that some countries are a little bit more evolved and less judgemental.
Surely the emphasis should be on the value of stable, long term , committed relationships be they without a certificate or not. One looks as the Divorce rate and it all of a sudden seems obvious to me why so many people rush into marriage simply because of either social or personal expectations.
I would never even dream of marrying someone I had not lived with for quite a while. I simply cannot fathom how anyone believes otherwise. To me living with someone is crucial to discovering exactly how in sync you are. It also enables you to see the good, the bad and the ugly and to manage expectations rather than rushing blindly into total unknown territory.
Had Hubby not proposed I would not have felt slighted, upset or somehow become insecure about how my worth to him. He wanted to get married. I just wanted to spend my life with him with or without a ring. Marriage does not make a couple stronger. You either are strong together or you are not.
Him proposing to me was not the pinnacle of my relationship. That is not what I lived for oddly enough.
I think if a couple is happy being together and playing house without a ring and proposal, that is fine. Personally I might be with a man for a few years if I lived in my own place and he in his, but if I am having to cook and clean and wash his stuff I don't know how long I would do that. If I really was in love and I thought he loved me as well, I would say may 2-3 years max.
I've lived with my SO for five years, and I've never washed his stuff (he's sure washed mine, though). I tend to cook more, however, because I like cooking. And we both clean, him probably more than I. Living with somebody, married or not, doesn't mean that the woman has to play the housekeeper role. That's certainly not our setup.
I actually find the expression "play house" rather offensive I must admit. I lived with my now Husband for 21 years before we got married and it was as serious and committed as ANY marriage.
"Play House" infantalises the relationship of people who CHOSE not to marry. I would quite happily put my "play house" relationship against ANY marriage.
One can be deeply in Love, committed to one another, and in a real grown up relationship without a piece of paper. I have never "played house" in my entire life.
I have never understood why some women are so obsessed with marriage as the be and end of it all. It is as though a woman will define herself by the ability to make a man propose to her and marry her. It seems positively archaic to me.
I do find it extraordinary that in the 21st Century there is still some stigma attached to cohabitation in certain parts of the world. Thank Goodness as Djuna mentions that some countries are a little bit more evolved and less judgemental.
Surely the emphasis should be on the value of stable, long term , committed relationships be they without a certificate or not. One looks as the Divorce rate and it all of a sudden seems obvious to me why so many people rush into marriage simply because of either social or personal expectations.
I would never even dream of marrying someone I had not lived with for quite a while. I simply cannot fathom how anyone believes otherwise. To me living with someone is crucial to discovering exactly how in sync you are. It also enables you to see the good, the bad and the ugly and to manage expectations rather than rushing blindly into total unknown territory.
Had Hubby not proposed I would not have felt slighted, upset or somehow become insecure about how my worth to him. He wanted to get married. I just wanted to spend my life with him with or without a ring. Marriage does not make a couple stronger. You either are strong together or you are not.
Him proposing to me was not the pinnacle of my relationship. That is not what I lived for oddly enough.
I am sincerely happy for you, but I believe it happened the way you described because you two are definitely in love with each other. Now if you had moved in with a guy who wasn't all that into you, but happened to want or need you, then the outcome may have been different from what you would have liked. That is why I say when a woman moves in with a man to supposedly try to do a dry run on marriage, she is hedging HIS bets, not HERS.
I am not American. In NZ we have different expectations and a totally different dating culture.
In my circle of friends from the ages of 20-35ish no-one was married. Everyone lived together. It was perfectly normal and socially acceptable. The US has prudish and backwards ideas about these things in my opinion.
Oh I thought you were american. well even so, just b/c some of us don't do things the way you do in your country doesn't make us "prudish and backwards." The opposite would be like me saying people in your country are "loose and mixed up."
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