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I met a man on the NJ transit, on my way to meet another guy I was dating. Long story short, I wind up taking his number and breaking it off with the other guy I was seeing. He's a train conductor working 55 hours a week.
He seems really kind and generous. Upfront he told me that he was divorced with two small children (4 and 6), but had a good relationship with his ex. He didn't seem to have a lot of time and we spent the first few months interacting mainly over phone call and texts, daily. Finally we started hanging out on a regular basis, but I told him I had doubts about it working out because he seems to work so much and has his children half the week. He told me to not give up on the two of us, and that he would make more time for me.
We had a great night last night, going out to dinner and to his local bar. Then he told me he was stressed, saying his divorce was getting delayed because his wife had misfiled the paperwork in an offhand manner. I said, "I thought you were already divorced." He stammered for a bit and said, "Oh well, the paperwork's in there."
This really isn't a huge deal to me, since I know he is fully separated and not with her (she lives in a condo with another man)...but why did he just not say that his divorce wasn't final yet. Why just say he was divorced, when he wasn't yet? This is really bothering me.
Maybe, but (and I'll probably be screamed at for this) I would've...if someone is seriously separated and moving towards divorce, I don't see a problem with seeing them. It just pisses me off that he lied, and most importantly, he doesn't consider that a big thing to lie about.
Here is to hoping he takes the number of another gal while on his way to see you... and dumps ya
http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRGLJ2h0KZHLc0eKolhLIgzDLaU6Gecy rbIsE5p8Tx94Fqzm7DAMjef9hcr (broken link)
It should bother you, and you must listen to your gut. And don't question what your gut is telling you, don't rationalize or buy into his explanations. Your gut is telling you that he's a liar and there is much more to his marital status than what he has told you. Let me guess, you have not been to his home, you have not met his children, etc. etc.
Run, don't walk. If it was meant to be, he can contact you when this "misfiled divorce" is complete (demand proof). I promise you, he is lying about more than just his first big lie that he is already divorced.
Maybe, but (and I'll probably be screamed at for this) I would've...if someone is seriously separated and moving towards divorce, I don't see a problem with seeing them. It just pisses me off that he lied, and most importantly, he doesn't consider that a big thing to lie about.
You know your going to get a lot of flack here with the "You know your dating a married man" thing. Your not. the soon to be ex has a new man and I wouldn't even worry about it unless you plan on marrying him next month.
In reality there are people who split up years ago that never bothered getting a divorce. I dated a woman who had not seen her non official ex in 8 years. I really didn't give a hoot, even though she was worried about telling me.
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