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I am looking for some advice on how to respond to this: I hosted an event at my house and invited 60 people. Only about half responded yes or no (a save the date was mailed out 6 weeks prior and a formal invite 4 weeks prior). Of those who responded yes another 10 or so said even up to the day of the event that they were indeed coming. Still, didn't show up, no follow up phone call or email of apology. I'm aware that unforseen events come up but c'mon. This is just plain rude, inconsiderate and a total lack of manners. I never experienced this issue before moving to Charlotte. Do others out there have this same problem? If so, what do you do about it? Say something? Ignore it? Never invite them to another event?
You will find that this is common here. Even those who actually respond may not come. It is quite frustrating.
For my son's wedding, we had 100 respond that they were coming. I doubled it, due to the other lack of responses. Only 35 actually showed up. I had catered the wedding the homeless shelter ate quite well that day!
(we were having a true sit-down dinner)
I don't know what to do in response. It is maddening, to be sure!
Never experienced this issue before? Seriously? Assuming you have done this on more than one occasion I find it difficult to believe at your former residence that everyone would respond to the RSVP and honor accordingly.
You take your chances when hosting events. You can:
a) blacklist those who stood you up
b) not host events anymore
c) confront those who stood you up
d) for those who stood you up kill them with kindness
I hear ya'...YES...it is extremely rude & frustrating, especially when you have to prepare food!
YES...I have not experienced this lack of manners when it comes to responding to an R.S.V.P. until I moved here, to the degree it is done here. I might have had 1 or 2 people not respond at all where I used to live and maybe 1 or 2 not show up when they responded with a yes. If they didn't show up, I always got a phone call or an email explaining why. I feel as if people here think their time is more important than anyone else's time, or they're just waiting to see what the weather will be like on the day of the event, or they're waiting to see if "something better" comes along. Whatever the case may be...it's rude & inconsiderate. Believe me, if you did it to them, I'm sure you'd hear about it.
WOW! That SUCKS! I have never had that happen to me before. Maybe one or two people don't show up - but they usually let me know beforehand. I guess my wedding was a little different since it was a destination wedding - so if people said they were coming, they came. I'm not saying that I always hear back from every single person invited to something - but when people say they are coming, they almost always come.
It's annoying as hell but the best thing you can do is just to not ever invite them again. The first time I had a party at my house and invited co workers and friends, hardly anyone showed up - mind you these are all people that live for parties and food, they were all military friends i had been working with for over a year so it's not as though they didn't know me. Anyway, when they all RSVP'd that they were coming, we went out and bought a ton of food, beer and alcohol because when i throw a party, I like to provide and not burden anyone with bringing stuff... but like I said, hardly anyone showed up. Yes, I was pissed, but at the same time I worked with a lot of these people and couldn't very well go to work with a chip on my shoulder. Some of them apologized, others who didn't never got an invite again.
When I had a second party, I only invited a few people, the ones who had the audacity to ask why they weren't invited were reminded of their failure to show up for the first party, talk about them stumbling over their words LOL... at this point I had been friends with these people going on three years so I didn't hold back my displeasure with their lack of manners... Needless to say, the second party went great, this time I told everyone to bring food and alcohol that I'd provide basic stuff and beer.. great success.
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