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My husband never...wants to have sex, there is always an excuse, he is tired or we have been arguing or something else. I can not take it anymore, I have given him full access and he never wants any. Who cares if we argue, I'll do it after that no problem.
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Originally Posted by asitshouldbe
He doesn't like porn, can you believe that? Every time I try to watch it with him, he giggles or acts like its weird. I love it, really, I could watch it everyday. Go figure. Backwards, huh?
It is a control thing. You have a choice, cheat on him, he probably won't care, go without, or leave him. It is more common than you think. It has nothing to do with you, it is his problem. Don't beg him. That is humiliating to you, and actually will feed his "control" issues. Oddly enough, he maybe cheating on you, or getting his needs met thru other sources, you have no idea about. My ex was like this, and I found out he was into bondage, but did not want that in our relationship, because he did not want me to know what he really liked (?), he also started all these strange online relationships...I only found out because he left this in his desk, and I needed some checks, so I found this stuff in a drawer. I left. The whole thing was so sad. I would rather be alone than treated like that for the rest of my life, and pretend to be a couple. Forget it.
Maybe he is suffering from long term depression? Someone can be depressed without it being obvious to others around them.
Giggling at porn? Sounds to me like he is uncomfortable or embarrassed, but not necessarily opposed to it.
Of course, men, like women, can develop a low interest in sex simply because it now bores them, they are hiding pain or discomfort, or they desire something they are too afraid to ask for.
asitshouldbe, I'm curious as to whether he will even talk about it with you? Or is he the type who is just closed lip about it and sweeps it under the rug?
I've been there with my wife and still trying to get it back to normal, whatever that is. There was a time that I would have killed for 10 times per year. During those 10 times, is he enthusiastic about it at all? I assume you do the initiating?
He is passive-aggresives, no meds, no alcohol, low libido for a long time. He had a complete physical with testosterone levels, two months ago. He is 46. I have not gained weight, bath daily, brush teeth regular and even use deoderant. I have become a very high libido person lately, thanks to HRT, and want it every which way, often. I have become interested in viewing internet entertainment, to fill my need. I sit on the couch with my laptop in the evening, while watching tv, I can watch my fun stuff.
What is it you expect of him/want from him exactly? You state that he's had a low libido for a long time, and that the recent change is on your end, not his. I don't see how you can reasonably expect his sex drive to change significantly just because yours has -- that isn't fair to him. To me, it sounds like you've expressed to him that you want it as much as possible, and that he's doing just that. Again, I don't think it's fair to expect him to change just because you have. Sure, it would nice of him to step it up as much as he can for you, but again -- it doesn't sound to me like he's the one who changed. I think you're on the right path by meeting your needs on your own.
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JK.
. I have become a very high libido person lately, thanks to HRT, and want it every which way, often. I have become interested in viewing internet entertainment, to fill my need. I sit on the couch with my laptop in the evening, while watching tv, I can watch my fun stuff. 
