Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
How come I don't get a date, when I have an acquaintance who I suspect is in shady business does? Is all the talk of confidence and "be yourself" just fluff?
The problem with just being yourself is that you would have to know who you are. A lot of people are not very sure about who they are. This is the very reason why "being yourself" seems to blow up in their faces.
The better thing to say would be "Just be true to yourself." You would have to do a little soul searching. While you are soul searching, you have to be brutally honest with yourself.
One of the worst things you can do in the dating game is try to be someone you are not. (So called Nice Guys take note) Another way to kill your chances is to be a doormat. (more notes)
Lastly, do not be so concerned with getting a date. (I know, easier said than done right? been there) When you are not so desperate for a date, more opportunities seem to present themselves.
Bolded for emphasis. You have to make a woman LAUGH.
There is laughter, then there is LAUGHTER.
I'm talking about making a woman laugh so hard that she loses all sense of everything. All frame of reference. I'm talking about making a woman laugh so hard she develops amnesia and becomes a Ms. Bourne. The moment that happens, you can consider her a stalker or
I also use lots of fancy words, and it seems lots of guys I've met aren't into them. They claim my English is not good (WTF?!), or that I sound too fancy for them.
The problem with just being yourself is that you would have to know who you are. A lot of people are not very sure about who they are. This is the very reason why "being yourself" seems to blow up in their faces.
The better thing to say would be "Just be true to yourself." You would have to do a little soul searching. While you are soul searching, you have to be brutally honest with yourself.
One of the worst things you can do in the dating game is try to be someone you are not. (So called Nice Guys take note) Another way to kill your chances is to be a doormat. (more notes)
Lastly, do not be so concerned with getting a date. (I know, easier said than done right? been there) When you are not so desperate for a date, more opportunities seem to present themselves.
Enjoy.
I've never a doormat, and don't define being nice as that.
But I am true to myself, since I know my own strengths and weaknesses.
I think a lot of guys on the internet that think they can't get a date are deluding themselves.
A. What do you really want? The problem with being on the internet (as a guy) is you can build up so many fantasies in your head about what the "perfect date should be", or the "perfect encounter". Spending time alone on the internet can amp up the fantasies.You see eharmony. You see these singles ads. You see this.
And you think the girl has to be 5'7, 125 lbs, size zero, always has to wear mini skirts. Always has to do this. I think its part of this "customization" phenomenon.You can customize your phone, your computer. You can customize your online experience. But it doesn't translate to the real world.
B. What's your social skills? That's 80% of it. The other 20% is personal grooming, hygiene, looks, etc.
If you have to constantly think about "what to say", you're probably not yourself. Say what comes to mind and be more spontaneous. This idea that all girls respond to X, is insanity. Some girls don't care what you say. You're a good guy simply because you're not drunk all the time, or a major flake. You can basically do anything else you want.
C. The rules for guys in this society are whacked. Guys have to do 34 things right to "win" a woman. Girls just have to show up and look hot. Flip that around to work in your favor. Girls are people too. What do they respond to? Someone not trying so hard.
When you as a guy see a hot girl walking down the street, what's your natural reaction? "Wow, she's hot!!" "Look at her legs. Look at her curves. Look at her thighs, and how they're rounded" Your brain gets this initial response. Pulse, pulse, pulse.
Girls do the same thing! "Wow, look at that guy. He doesn't need me. Look at the way he's moving." Girls get the same, Pulse, pulse, pulse response. This is where spontaneity and being yourself is attractive.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Is all the talk of confidence and "be yourself" just fluff?
FATAL ATTRACTION!!
