Post your trivial 1st world problems (humor thread) (college, parent, issues)

[mshultz]

I realized in the last few days that my income from retiring this year is too high to make a Roth IRA contribution. I had to fill out a form and undo this year's contribution. I will owe ordinary income tax on the gain since January, when I made the contribution, but no fees or penalties. Even worse, I requested a distribution thinking that was all that was needed to correct the problem.

Now I have a distribution I really did not want. This is what happens when you act before thoroughly understanding the tax law. I could have avoided the entire situation by taking a smaller lump sum deferred compensation payout this year.

Meanwhile, don't waste food. Think of all the starving North Koreans.

[Nicci6Squirrels]

I was stringing pom poms for my Christmas tree today (because apparently I really like to make work for myself.) I was using a darning needle and poked my finger hard enough to draw blood. But I had the presence of mind to loudly exclaim, "DARN it." It wasn't even funny and I didn't even make myself laugh, so it was a total bust. And I got blood on one of my white pom poms. *sad trombones*

[PinaCarlotta]

Originally Posted by silibran

Oh sweetie, just wash your socks before wearing them. It will be OK, I promise.

I did. I wash everything before wearing it. It didn't help, but thank you for your concern.

Worse - another item has joined it today.

bwahahaha!

See, Nicci, that's exactly why you should wear clothes around pokey things.

[SportyandMisty]

I definitely need one of these for Christmas.

[bjh]

I can't decide what to do first. Take a shower or go back to bed.

[Nicci6Squirrels]

I'm enjoying the top third of my Christmas tree. I have lights on the top third. I'm awaiting a delivery of my LED copper wire lights. I ordered them daaaaaysssss ago.

This is my O Tannenbaum Song:

O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum...
you look so stupid. Why don't you get some more lights on you, ya wang tree? They're all gonna laugh at you.

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by Bayarea4

I dropped a Pyrex container of mashed potatoes on my foot.

You think that's bad? Once I dropped a full jar of mayonnaise on my big toe, and then it broke too and mayo got all over my kitchen floor plus glass, plus my toe swelled all up and turned black and blue and hurt like a sumbich and I had to try to clean up the floor while my toe was throbbing and I couldn't get up all of it so for weeks afterwards every time I stepped into my kitchen I nearly slipped and fell and had to catch myself.

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by Sand&Salt

A big turkey here costs $56---Holy cow. And no pumpkin.


Oh well. Property taxes are only $40 annually, LOL.

We can buy turkeys for less but our property taxes are nearly $4000 a year.

I'll take a $60 turkey thank you very kindly.

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by Nicci6Squirrels

I just made a sandwich, took it out of the oven, and when I turned, it slid right off the baking sheet into my kitchen sink. Fell right into a bowl full of soapy water. I didn't even do a flourish when I turned. It was a pretty basic maneuver, so I'm not sure what happened!

Suggestion:

What works for me whilst removing sandwiches from hot appliances, is to sing this while twirling around three times:

Skinnamarink a dinky dink,
Skinnamarink a doo
I....love...you!

Skinnamarink a dinky dink,
Skinnamarink a doo
I....love...you!

I love you in the morning and in the afternoon
I love you in the evening and underneath the moon!

Skinnamarink a dinky dink,
Skinnamarink a doo
I....love...you! (I really mean it!)
I............LOVE.......YOU!

(Big flourish at the end.)

Just try it and see if it doesn't work every time.

[KathrynAragon]

Originally Posted by Nicci6Squirrels

It's okay. You're just giving your things a stair-vacation. I have a number of items currently lounging on my stairs, as well, and also have no explanation. (The stair-vacation doesn't really seem to be a great explanation, does it?)

I like the idea of allowing items in our homes to enjoy alternative views and new places. I am sure that the view from the floor of my closet is infinitely more interesting than the view from a shelf or hanger. For starters, such items reclining on the floor can see my undies and unmentionables from time to time. Must be scintillating.

Next nice thing I'm going to do for my household items is run naked up and down the stairs, for the benefit of such items which are stair cationing. It will be like going to a nude beach or something!