why so many cops are wife beaters? (sociopath, narcissistic, college)
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I happen to know a lot of police officers as well as ex-military men and security guards. Most aren't violent but they have short fuses a lot of the time. I don't believe this is the majority but when you see someone in a position of authority in a violent situation and it's domestic? One tends to think that they unleash their problems at home.
Its not that EACH AND EVERY cop commits battery on their spouses BUT its a fact they commit it at a much higher rate
Im not sure what you mean by a short fuse , we are discussing physical violence against their spouses, not just yelling " oh damm". I posted this in the psychology section to discuss what the psychological causes could be, not to debate a known fact.
This is among the reasons why I don't date cops. Every woman I know who has dated/married a cop has been either been cheated on or stalked. Even a guy I know who dated a female cop said she was controlling and kind of scary.
I KNOW there are cops who are good people, but there are enough who would make unsuitable partners that I play the odds and don't take the chance of letting something like that into my life.
I agree. Is it a coincidence that the first time I met a cop, (my sisters friends so) he was the only guy at the 4th of July bbq who was just downright obnoxious, as he was introduced to others there he kibd of just nodded his head and with a pained expression said "hey" as if it was killing him to have to be pleasant and say hello, nice to meet you. He then proceeded to order her around and didnt make any attempts to ve friendly or make chit chat. Then a while later at the baby shower, he was the only man who started calling her asking her how much longer and telling her to come home and make dinner.it seemed like such a waste, she is fairly pretty, has a good career as a labor and delivery nurse and a good sense of humor and it was like what a total waste. I tend to suspect that giveb his overtly controlling and ill manner, she may have been too fearful to try and leave. Of course not all of them do that, I really appreciate the minority who are really good, but with odds like that women are taking a real risk to get involved.
I agree. Is it a coincidence that the first time I met a cop, (my sisters friends so) he was the only guy at the 4th of July bbq who was just downright obnoxious, as he was introduced to others there he kibd of just nodded his head and with a pained expression said "hey" as if it was killing him to have to be pleasant and say hello, nice to meet you. He then proceeded to order her around and didnt make any attempts to ve friendly or make chit chat. Then a while later at the baby shower, he was the only man who started calling her asking her how much longer and telling her to come home and make dinner.it seemed like such a waste, she is fairly pretty, has a good career as a labor and delivery nurse and a good sense of humor and it was like what a total waste. I tend to suspect that giveb his overtly controlling and ill manner, she may have been too fearful to try and leave. Of course not all of them do that, I really appreciate the minority who are really good, but with odds like that women are taking a real risk to get involved.
OP, you are not helping your case by continuing to focus on the ONE police officer you have met who sounds like he's a jerk (as if there are no jerks in other professions! ).
Also, even if the rate of domestic abuse among police officers is higher than the rate among the general population, that would not mean that the MAJORITY of police officers are abusers, as you have implied ("I appreciate the minority," "with odds like that [odds like WHAT?!], women are taking a real risk to get involved"). Example: say that the general population rate 15% and the police officer rate 25% (HYPOTHETICAL NUMBERS -- I have no idea what the statistics are on this, since actual studies vary): this would show that the police-officer rate is indeed higher, but it would still show that the majority of officers, like the majority of the general population, are NOT abusers.
The job is stressfull, the hours suck, in some cases you are a target where someone openly wants to kill you.
Put the "best" person in those circumstances. I will bet he or she will have severe social issues.
Not an an excuse, just cause and effect.
Divorce rate, alcoholism, infidelity, domestic violence, bad credit. These are all issues compounded in any given police force.
It got so bad over here, our local Sherif started running credit checks annually on his officers and was forcing the deadbeats to pay their bills or loose their job.
Internally, each PD and Sherifs office maintains a Social Services. They have access to counseling at the drop of a hat. It's the cops that don't tell their wives that this is available, they are the true deadbeats.
Your local PD's budget is public info, look at it some time. Call the Public Relations Officer and ask them about a few line items under benefits and HR.
I also thought it was commonly known, though the cops that I know seem to be good husbands/fathers.
It's probably a case of which came first, though. Do those with abusive personalities tend to be drawn to positions of authority over others? Or do those in positions of authority who have to deal with the dregs of society eventually spiral into abusiveness?
The job is stressfull, the hours suck, in some cases you are a target where someone openly wants to kill you.
Put the "best" person in those circumstances. I will bet he or she will have severe social issues.
Not an an excuse, just cause and effect.
Divorce rate, alcoholism, infidelity, domestic violence, bad credit. These are all issues compounded in any given police force.
It got so bad over here, our local Sherif started running credit checks annually on his officers and was forcing the deadbeats to pay their bills or loose their job.
Internally, each PD and Sherifs office maintains a Social Services. They have access to counseling at the drop of a hat. It's the cops that don't tell their wives that this is available, they are the true deadbeats.
Your local PD's budget is public info, look at it some time. Call the Public Relations Officer and ask them about a few line items under benefits and HR.
My husband works in the security field and he's had coworkers at various places who said they left jobs as corrections officers or police officers because they were bringing the stress home and taking it out on their families.
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