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I'm Asian and honestly with my taste in women, I'm more likely to marry a white, Hispanic, or black woman than an Asian, in that order. I've noticed practically all the Asian American girls I've found attractive are taken by white or black guys.
B/c there's a different perception and treatment that Hollywood and society give Asian women and Asian men.
It may be unconscious, but it's definitely there. How many characters in tv shows are gay Asian males?
To relate to the OQ: I don't think it's unfortunate to be an Asian* male, but to be a gay Asian* male can be.
The reason? Just ask gays you know.
*By "Asian" is meant: of (south)eastern Asian descent (Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai, etc.)
I just read a post on interracial dating and marriage which prompted me to come up with this idea.
Asian males seem to be at disadvantage.Being Asian is okay,but being Asian male is not that great.
Will white/black/hispanic females take Asian males into account when it comes to dating and marriage?
Depends where you live...
I have friends from college that came from Hawaii (all Asian except for one) and it is the WHITE KIDS who are picked on! Haven't you heard the word "haole" before?
It is only unfortunate to be an asian male if you are unwilling to adapt to the landscape.
You just have some unique challenges in the dating world, because of preloaded perceptions, physical tastes, racism etc... but we really should just consider those as parts of the world reality landscape. Like any mountain or river... hoping it will go away won't make it erode any faster. I am an asian male and have only dated non-asian females all my life. I wouldn't mind dating an asian female the opportunity just never really popped up. Usually they had preferences for non-asian males. I can't hate on them for it, they are just choosing what is viewed as dominant in the culture, or just really do prefer other types. Whatever the reason, it just means more non-asian females for me =). There have been times in the past where I have been frustrated by some of the things that come along with being an asian male.. such as... people seem to think they can talk smack to you and have you not step up to them... this is great in bars.. when people say stuff.. they have no idea how close they come to being stabbed =). But you can just chalk that up to ignorance... like most other things. On the bright side... though.. being the 'model minority' affords us a few benefits... our non-threatening aura allows us to be WAY more aggressive when spitting game to non-asian ladies. So basically... if you are unwilling to adapt/evolve... then sure.. it is indeed unfortunate... but I like to be positive about this stuff when I can be... so look at it as an opportunity to leverage your unique situation to make things better.... Although I want to punch the actor who played Long Duk Dong in the face for getting me into so many altercations.... I hope that one day we can combine our model minority status with a strong dose of Game.
Reading this thread and others on the subject, I don't understand why any white man would want to be in an interracial relationship, when apparently, people of all races will judge your relationship as one of the following:
White Male/Asian Female = Kinky white man with Asian fetish for submissive small women.
White Male/Black Female = Weak man who likes to be dominated and told what to do by a black woman.
Sheesh.
As for Asian men, I think there's a perception, specifically amongst Asian men who are recent immigrants, that those men are ONLY looking for other Asians to date. If Asian men aren't approaching. I believe this is part of the reason why black men have success dating outside of their race. They actually ask. Women who have never thought about dating black men at that point might suddenly say, "oh wow, I'll give it a shot."
Those are some interesting approaches and perspectives, and especially the last one appears to be somewhat healthy (except for the violence, lol -- probably just a joke though). What I find effective is turning the stereotypes about Asians against others; when dudes "step" to me or try to prop themselves up at others' expenses, inform them you're not interested in men, you're interested in the ladies (or just there to hang with buds), so stop hitting on you.
I just don't agree with the double standard that exists between Asians and other minorities. Folks stand up for blacks and latinos in Hollywood, demanding more accurate perspectives. No one seems to do that for Asians, and in fact there seems to be an effort to deliberately portray an inaccurate picture. As many folks who tell blacks and latinos, "you need to adapt, it's a you problem, and not a Hollywood problem," there are more folks who expose the inherently ludicrous nature of that argument.
But it's true, as nefarious and despicable the conspiracy is (and it's surely no coincidence or happenstance that this is the overall impression of Asians), individuals need to control what they can. Stop watching Hollywood. Advocate for better treatment. Act against the stereotype. Exploit the stereotype. But I think speaking out and exposing the stereotype is an equal part of adaptation as well. To ignore it, or be passive about it, would only reinforce it.
On the topic of interracial relationships, do black guys get offended if a black girl says she only wants white men? It seems pretty acceptable for black guys to date white women but i often get this impression that it's not so acceptable for black women to date white men.
On the topic of interracial relationships, do black guys get offended if a black girl says she only wants white men? It seems pretty acceptable for black guys to date white women but i often get this impression that it's not so acceptable for black women to date white men.
Seriously. My best friend at work is a black female. We are very close (not dating, as we are both dating other people in our personal lives), but we go out to lunch almost every day, and have even been to the grocery store together after work.... the looks of shock and annoyance from young black men are very palpable.
Um, seeing no -one else has brought it up, I will.
I lived in Hong Kong for years. The men, once we were getting intimate, would say something "ngoh yau yueng yeh bei lei teng - ngoh ho sai ja" - I have to tell you something - Im quite small. It seemed EVERY guy would say the same thing about his, ahem, endownment. (It also coincided with my , shall we say, promiscuous stage, thus had many occasions to test what they were saying). I thought it was cute until I started talking to a chinese girl on the plane - she said they told her the same thing!
As for the myth about black men, I dont know WHERE that came from. The most endowned men I have ever seen where (usually) european.
I just read a post on interracial dating and marriage which prompted me to come up with this idea.
Asian males seem to be at disadvantage.Being Asian is okay,but being Asian male is not that great.
Will white/black/hispanic females take Asian males into account when it comes to dating and marriage?
When it comes to women I haven't seen myself at disadvantage just for being Asian..
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