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Old 11-23-2009, 07:21 AM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,879 posts, read 8,388,333 times
Reputation: 5184

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Just wondering if anyone can relate to this.

In mid 2008, my now husband and I were working full-time jobs that we loved and were earning a combined income of $90k (me $50k and he, $40k). We got engaged and planned to start working on our first baby by the end of 2010. But by the end of 2008, we'd both lost our jobs, found ourselves unemployed through most of 2009. We are both currently working temp-to-hire jobs but his is more likely to fire him than mine. If he should get hired permanently, he'd bring in $28k. Decent money but not enough to consider having a baby. If I am not hired permanently and have to go back on unemployment, I already know I'd probably get less money than before since my temp position was at half the wage I worked before. Neither of us have health insurance.

Basically, its not looking like the 2010/2011 baby will happen. We'd have to both secure decent paying jobs, with health insurance and move into a 2-bedroom apartment (which we currently can't afford). Sure, many things can happen in the next year but given the job market and the fact that its taking us nearly one year to find any kind of employment, the outlook isn't good. And even if we manage, I don't know how we'd afford day care, while I'm at work. It just seems nearly impossible.

It just has me worried that being financially stable enough to bring a child into this world may take years (if ever). We're both going on 32 and were hoping to start soon.

Can anyone relate? Is anyone else worried that they may not be able to afford a baby?
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Old 11-23-2009, 09:30 AM
 
28,453 posts, read 85,452,690 times
Reputation: 18729
I've known dozens, probably hundreds of people that have bought homes or condos and wanted to start a family. In pretty much every case they find a way to make it work. Finances just do not present that great a hurdle to people having kids. You might have to rethink the kind of job(s) you want vs what you can get, and you might have some really hectic times if either of you decide that you need more training / education to have the kind of income and lifestyle you want, but generations of people have endured a lot to get you here...

I am quite sure it looks pretty bleak if your household income has fallen from $90k to maybe less than a third of that, but there are people living in every part of the US on less than even that. It can be done.

The way to get a better paying job is to do the research into what makes sense from a training / employment perspective and then tackle that. Things can be turned around in a very short time when the effort is spent in the correct area...

Even if things REALLY go against you and you end up with debts that seem insurmountable the US is the land of 'unlimited second chances' and you can start over much easier than any where else on the planet. Learn from your mistakes / the lessons you have about what may seem like random unemployment and you will be less likely to get hit by the same problems in the future.

I have had MAJOR career changes at least three times and have learned from each of them.

Good Luck!
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Old 11-23-2009, 09:49 AM
 
Location: IL
2,987 posts, read 5,255,044 times
Reputation: 3111
excellent response Chet, i totally agree.
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Old 11-23-2009, 10:05 AM
 
Location: Missouri
6,044 posts, read 24,105,187 times
Reputation: 5183
I can relate to your situation. I quit my job and took a much lower-paying job because it was part time and gives me flexibility so I could go back to school. All that is great, but it definitely forces me to put off having a little one. Hopefully when I get close to graduating I can think about that goal...but I definitely wouldn't do it now. Just not enough time or money. Being 30 I can definitely feel your pain. *tick tock!*
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Old 11-23-2009, 12:06 PM
 
18,735 posts, read 33,427,167 times
Reputation: 37328
The OP doesn't seem to be talking about a lower income, she's talking about a total collapse- neither one with a permanent job and no health insurance. In that case, I'd say it could be very very crazy to have a baby now. I mean, it's more than a few diapers and toys.
If there is "simply" a lowered income but with a "real" job (not temp) and health insurance, then yes, likely they could bite the bullet and live very quietly on a single low income. (I have always wondered what people are thinking/planning if they have a baby and know they need both incomes...)
I work with a lot of people who work shift work, both father and mother work different shifts or one works during the week and the other nights or weekends around having children. It's not ideal, of course, but it's an option some people take.
There are those who say, "If you wait until you can afford a child, you'll never have one," but there are vast varying differences in circumstances to consider. The OP said she is 32. While she needs to consider age/fertility, it's not exactly the last minute.
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Old 11-23-2009, 06:26 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,499 posts, read 54,141,054 times
Reputation: 47919
It's true:" If we all decided to wait until we can afford it we wouldn't have kids."

No matter the range of income, we fear it will not be enough to afford a family. It really depends on how much you want a child. If you have looked at your life and know in your heart your life will be incomplete without a child, then you will move heaven and earth to reach that goal. Get more education, be extremely frugal, etc.
If, however, you are not really sure about it then by all means don't even consider it.
I'm from the school of thought that says "If you want something bad enough you will figure out a way to have it" It's during this decision phase that we learn what our real goals are.
Good luck
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Old 11-23-2009, 06:53 PM
 
5,652 posts, read 19,362,368 times
Reputation: 4120
I had my first child at 34 and the second at 38 - unless you have known medical issues that would prevent you from conceiving, you have plenty of time. I would wait a year to see how everything straightens out. My concern for you is childcare costs. Explore those first.
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Old 11-23-2009, 09:36 PM
 
Location: California
37,152 posts, read 42,260,441 times
Reputation: 35035
I had strict rule about starting a family and even then it wasn't always easy. If I were the OP I wouldn't consider it until there was a little more financial security, especially insurance. You can move in with family if things get desperate, but if you have a child who has health problems you will be screwed.
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Old 11-28-2009, 10:33 PM
 
4,289 posts, read 10,777,579 times
Reputation: 3811
Quote:
Originally Posted by gardener34 View Post
I had my first child at 34 and the second at 38 - unless you have known medical issues that would prevent you from conceiving, you have plenty of time. I would wait a year to see how everything straightens out. My concern for you is childcare costs. Explore those first.
While the risks are still low, it shows that the older the parents are, the more susceptibile the baby is to certain disorders (autism, etc)
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Old 11-28-2009, 10:39 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,852 posts, read 35,158,161 times
Reputation: 22700
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Crabcakes View Post
Just wondering if anyone can relate to this.

In mid 2008, my now husband and I were working full-time jobs that we loved and were earning a combined income of $90k (me $50k and he, $40k). We got engaged and planned to start working on our first baby by the end of 2010. But by the end of 2008, we'd both lost our jobs, found ourselves unemployed through most of 2009. We are both currently working temp-to-hire jobs but his is more likely to fire him than mine. If he should get hired permanently, he'd bring in $28k. Decent money but not enough to consider having a baby. If I am not hired permanently and have to go back on unemployment, I already know I'd probably get less money than before since my temp position was at half the wage I worked before. Neither of us have health insurance.

Basically, its not looking like the 2010/2011 baby will happen. We'd have to both secure decent paying jobs, with health insurance and move into a 2-bedroom apartment (which we currently can't afford). Sure, many things can happen in the next year but given the job market and the fact that its taking us nearly one year to find any kind of employment, the outlook isn't good. And even if we manage, I don't know how we'd afford day care, while I'm at work. It just seems nearly impossible.

It just has me worried that being financially stable enough to bring a child into this world may take years (if ever). We're both going on 32 and were hoping to start soon.

Can anyone relate? Is anyone else worried that they may not be able to afford a baby?
Nope, never had that problem. LOL

Where do you live that there are no jobs for pizza delivery?

20yrsinBranson
blissfully childfree
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