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12 pages into this and I'm concerned that OP thinks his entire problem is the house. He has yet to answer ONE question about other spending habits - why they spend $1500/mo on food, how the credit cards built up, what line budget items (cable, some of the kids activities, etc) they are willing to cut from the budget.
OP, your current house isn't the problem. It's the largest SYMPTOM of your problem --> you and your wife spend like drunken sailors!!!!
I still think you need both a financial planner and a marriage counselor.
With a single income family in your range, you need to be sure you have a $1M MINIMUM life insurance policy so your wife and kids won't have to move into a box under the bridge should something happen to you.
You need to be putting away a MINIMUM of $500/mo per child for a state school college education and $1,000/mo minimum per child for private school college.
You need to max out your 401k contributions, enroll in any sort of "mirror" savings plan your company sponsors for high earners since the 401k max is only $15k a year or so. In total, you need to be saving about $4k / mo (combo of pre & post tax) for retirement. You are WAY BEHIND for a 40-yr old with your income.
You need an emergency cash savings account with 6-12 months of living expenses (not income, just to cover your house, cars, food, insurance, etc). A one-income family needs closer to 12 months, just in case.
You & your wife need to make a monthly budget and STICK TO IT. I'd recommend going on an "all cash" diet. If your new grocery budget is $800/mo, your wife gets $200/cash each Sunday and has to stretch it out. If you don't get your spending under control, the $500k house won't help because the "freed up" $1500-2000/mo will be going right to Ethan Allen, Tory Burch, Toys R Us, or wherever else you're frittering all your money away.
Made an offer on the home today and depending on if they accept or not I will be listing my home. The home is not listed with a realtor so that is why the specifics are so vague. I am also strongly considering listing my home with a limited service brokers who will place my home on the MLS for $249. If my home were to sell that 3% could be about 25K in savings for me.
I don't get this. You made an offer on a house that your wife really doesn't want to move into? You're contemplating selling your home that your wife really wants to stay in? How do you get to do these things unilaterally? Why is there no grown-up communication (as in discussion, negotiation, compromise) between you and your wife?
Made an offer on the home today and depending on if they accept or not I will be listing my home. The home is not listed with a realtor so that is why the specifics are so vague. I am also strongly considering listing my home with a limited service brokers who will place my home on the MLS for $249. If my home were to sell that 3% could be about 25K in savings for me.
1. I hope the real estate market is strong where you live or else you may soon face the unfortunate situation of paying 2 mortgages!!
2. Unless you have bought & sold quite a few homes, I would strongly recommend not going with a $249 flat fee listing agency. In my experience, you DO get what you pay for (and I DO speak from experience of getting what I paid for....)
We listed our house with a friend of my husband's who does a lot of business but not in our neighborhood. He mis-read the rising market in our area and overpriced our home. It sold quickly, but we had to take a price reduction and ended up selling at less than we should have gotten had it been priced correctly. Using fake #'s to explain, comps supported a list price of $450-499k. We went on the market at $499k. We had 30 showings and no offers in the first week - in a market seeing multiple offers and people paying over list price. We reduced to $479k after 2 weeks based on price feedback. Got a contract for $465k and sold around $470k.
A savvier realtor would have priced our house in the $465-470k range and based on market activity, we would have had multiple offers and sold in the $475-490k range. We EASILY gave back the $15k we skipped in realtor commissions away by not listing with a neighborhood expert would have priced us to sell and gotten us an extra $5-20k.
If you're not REALLY a student of your local market (down to the $/sf, DOM, staging & photography needs, and pricing of various blocks or elementary schools over other blocks & elementary schools), you will miss out on maximizing your potential sales price by cheapening out on the realtor.
Now, if you've bought & sold 6 houses and Are the local real estate expert amongst your friends and you truly just need someone to help with paperwork, a flat fee MLS or FSBO makes sense. I'm not defending the need to always, 100% of the time use a full commission realtor, just pointing out its good to hire an expert when you're not one yourself. You wouldn't inspect your own potential home or attempt to re-roof your home or stitch up your kid's cut, so just because real estate looks "easier"/ less complicated than being a home inspector / roofer/ plastic surgeon, that isn't always the case.
It's not a unilateral decision. Just because we know downsizing is the right move doesn't mean we are overly excited to move to this home. Fact is for our price range this is as good as it gets. Wife and I are on the same rational page but emotionally she would still like to stay even though she knows it is not possible nor best for us.
I've bought and sold 3 homes in the past 11 years. No issues at all and every home of mine has been absolutely stunning and shows amazingly well. Sure the market has changed and I'm not sure this will sell in under 5 days like my previous homes, but we will see.
I also know just moving is not the entire answer. We need a different attitude and act differently when it comes to money, both spending and saving.
I've bought and sold 3 homes in the past 11 years. .
red flag alert
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Exactly
