Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I honestly believe most people have kids for there own selfish reasons.
Some bottom of the barrel types have kids because welfare gives them more money
Some people have kids in hopes of "saving" there relationship
Some looneys have kids because they want attention
Some people have kids because they simply have a void in there life and want something to do
Some people have kids for there own status in society, its like there trophy piece
Some people dont even plan to have kids, its an unwanted accident
A lot of very selfish reasons to have kids with only the people creating them in mind.
Of course Im not implying everyone is guilty of this but dont you think there is a lot of this going on?
I agree and I am one of them.
I think I would fall somewhere between #5 and #6 (not for social status..but rather for fear that I would be "missing out" on something important and that everyone else would have this "awesome thing" while I would be left like a dope just sitting there "unfulfilled"...Lord Forbid should I miss out on anything ). So yeah. It was about "I".
Now that I have my kids I love THEM beyond belief and I would do anything to ensure their lives turn out the very best they can - which leaves me about zero moments of relaxation (as in "sitting there like a dope") per day/week/year. It's 24/7, 365.
That being said...looking back, BEFORE my kids were conceived -
yes, the choice of having them WAS selfish.
Not necessarily proud of it though, like some posters implied. It is a harsh world I placed them in. Yes, it's always been harsh but it's about to get so much more so.
We actually did not choose to have kids. The guy who had a bad day at the Trojan factory who did not push the button correctly one time made that decision for us. We kind of wanted to have kids eventually, ubut had not really planned on it at that time. However it was fine, we were not unhappy about it either.
In fact at least three, and probably four of our kids were not really planned.
Now that we have kids, I have a very selfish reason for wanting them, particularly with the girls. To them I walk on water. It is nice to have somone think so highly of you.
The point Im trying to make in all this is that I personally have never really sat back and thought about why people have or want kids. I always just instantly assumed they had good intentions of wanting to raise a child, but when I actually sat back and thought about all the instances I listed and how often I came across someone that fit one of those descriptions or heard about someone who does, it became clear that way more often then not its for the adults selfish need or void in there life, not actually the child's best interest interest in mind, and I think that shows with some of problems we have in this country today.
I think it shows that despite all our problems we are designed to have children. It's instinct. Most people don't think about it, it's a natural process. You have to think about it to not participate.
My daughter doesn't want children, she has to take precaution so that she doesn't. Not having children takes planning, having them does not. We are human animals, it's like asking a group of rabbits why they keep having babies even though they over populate their area. You'll get the same blank stare from human animals when you ask that question. "I don't know, it just happened"
You could plan your head off for a child and it wouldn't mean it would all turn out as planned either. Sometimes, a man and woman stumble upon a un planned pregnancy and they become a well rounded family with goals and a swing set. Sometimes a man and woman plan to have a baby for all the right reasons and they end up in divorce, broke and on food stamps. Ya just never know. I couldn't begin to know which set to call selfish, honestly, the ones who thought they had it all worked out or the ones who sacrificed other personal goals to give the mistake a green light.
It is greedy to have kids just because you feel bored and unfulfilled but to be fair, most people I know with kids have them because of their love of bareback sex, my parents included
Absolutely true. One of the main reasons I'm having trouble wanting to have a kid is because of the world I'd be bringing it into.
and also, selfishly, because the idea of growing something in my stomach grosses me out.
Will all this stop me from having one in my 30s though? probably not. My husband will likely hold it over my head that he NEEDS to have a child to feel validated. HIM. Not me. A part of me hopes I find out I won't be able to have children anyway.
I don't understand why people are so against or oblivious to adoption. Let's ruin our bodies just so that we can have a child that looks like us. Yes it can take years to adopt, yes it is expensive, yes there are hoops to jump over. But there are all of those things when physically giving birth to a child.
Is it just me, or is this a really bizzarre thread?
Each of my kids has addedd something special to the dynamic of our family. We have kids, because having one was good, having two made life better, three, four, etc...
I did see this funny bumper sticker on a car the other day:
"Stop having so many kids. Your vagina isn't a clown car"
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
). So yeah. It was about "I". 
