People having kids for their own selfish reasons (adopted, parenthood, better)
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You said "Some bottom of the barrel types have kids because welfare gives them more money."
Yea, ok. Welfare hardly makes a profit. Don't make me laugh.
And what about this reason: MEN/BOYS who don't wear condoms? Seems you mention women not taking birth control/forgetting yet you forget YOUR own sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Edison Winter
The right reasons to have kids would be a couple who is financially stable and mentally mature enough to provide their kids with at least the basic needs and a safe upbringing and wants to have kids because they truly enjoy and are capable of handling all the responsibilities that come with raising a child.
So a REASON to have kids is to have someone to provide for the person must be capable of handling the responsibility and they should as YOU put it "WANT" to have them???
That doesn't make a bit of sense and if anything IS selifish.
So a REASON to have kids is to have someone to provide for the person must be capable of handling the responsibility and they should as YOU put it "WANT" to have them???
That doesn't make a bit of sense and if anything IS selifish.
Um yeah... "want" to have children.... and are fully capable of handling the life long commitment that comes along with being a parent.
Not the selfish types who "want" to have children for the wrong selfish reasons such as ones I listed in my initial list. Very simple to understand.
Its not selfish to want to have a kid when the right motives are behind it such as making a lifelong, loving and caring commitment and being financially and emotionally stable enough to be a parent. If the parents put the time and effort in to succeed as real parents with the childs best interest in mind...then great, thats good. But its the immature, emotional unstable morons who want to have kids to fill some selfish motives they have, which is all about them and not about the kids.
Your asking me "now what?" like there is one be all solution.
I am just here to get a discussion going with other members to see if they have also noticed this.
I agree with you that people have children because they are selfish. It's all aobut them and their ego and vanity. They don't give a damn about this world.
We all should, because people having kids for all the wrong reasons are the kids who usually grow up to be troubled adults which affects us all.
Adults having kids for their own selfish reasons and not actually for the joy and responsibility of raising a child is a real problem in society.
Posts like yours make me wish your parents had decided to remain childless.
So someone having a child "for the joy and responsibility of raising a child" is not getting anything out of it? And if they are, isn't that just a wee bit selfish? How dare they get any pleasure out of a child!
So why don't you give us your "good" reasons for having a child? And please make it at least as long as the list of all the bad reasons.
FTR, I'm 50+ with a 5 year old. And she's my one and only. And she was an unexpected surprise and is a delight to be with every day... uh, most days! (As any parent here can tell you... there are those days!)
Quote:
Im not sure why it makes you happy I have no plans for children but it sure makes me happy. I am a free spirit and choose to come and go as I please. I do not want the responsibility that comes along with being a good father. I applaud those who do it well, but it is something I have no interest in.
IOW, "I am emotionally immature and irresponsible, and certainly cannot be expected to be as selfless as to be responsible for someone else."
Your lack of parental ambitions makes us happy, too! Sounds like a win-win for the universe.
OPPS! JUST SAW HOLD OLD THIS THREAD IS!!! ME BAD!!
Last edited by Workin_Hard; 10-09-2011 at 06:46 AM..
I honestly believe most people have kids for there own selfish reasons.
Some bottom of the barrel types have kids because welfare gives them more money
Some people have kids in hopes of "saving" there relationship
Some looneys have kids because they want attention
Some people have kids because they simply have a void in there life and want something to do
Some people have kids for there own status in society, its like there trophy piece
Some people dont even plan to have kids, its an unwanted accident
A lot of very selfish reasons to have kids with only the people creating them in mind.
Of course Im not implying everyone is guilty of this but dont you think there is a lot of this going on?
I can't think of a non seflish reason for having kids. It's, probably, the single most self centered and self serving thing we do in our lives. It's not like society needs us, in particular, to breed. In fact, this world could use less breeding and it's pretty darned arrogant of us to think we should be handed another human being to raise. Kind of a God complex....
The altruistic ones are the ones who choose not to breed. They do the world and all of the children of us breeders a favor. They defy their biological urge to breed while we give in to it. I can't think of a single altruistic reason for me having kids. It's not like my genes are better than your genes or the world needs ME to have kids. I just wanted them. Yup, this is the single most selfish thing I've ever done in my life. I love my kids to pieces but having them was, purely, self serving.
I can't think of a non seflish reason for having kids. It's, probably, the single most self centered and self serving thing we do in our lives. It's not like society needs us, in particular, to breed. In fact, this world could use less breeding and it's pretty darned arrogant of us to think we should be handed another human being to raise. Kind of a God complex....
The altruistic ones are the ones who choose not to breed. They do the world and all of the children of us breeders a favor. They defy their biological urge to breed while we give in to it. I can't think of a single altruistic reason for me having kids. It's not like my genes are better than your genes or the world needs ME to have kids. I just wanted them. Yup, this is the single most selfish thing I've ever done in my life. I love my kids to pieces but having them was, purely, self serving.
Uh... yeah. No childfree person is childfree for any reason other that altruism.
The childfree (I refuse to use the terms breeders or non-breeders just because I find them crass) have many reasons for being so. Some people cannot have kids, some just don't like kids, some choose to be childfree so they can be unencumbered and free to focus on themselves. All are valid reasons.
I just don't subscribe to your theory that people without kids are childfree versions of Mother Teresa.
Uh... yeah. No childfree person is childfree for any reason other that altruism.
The childfree (I refuse to use the terms breeders or non-breeders just because I find them crass) have many reasons for being so. Some people cannot have kids, some just don't like kids, some choose to be childfree so they can be unencumbered and free to focus on themselves. All are valid reasons.
I just don't subscribe to your theory that people without kids are childfree versions of Mother Teresa.
Regardless of their reasons, they aren't over populating the earth like us breeders. Their decision to not have children makes more room for ours so we should be saying thank you....
I'm sure there are other reasons to be child free but the child free couples I know are child free because they either think this world sucks and we shoudln't be bringing kids into it or they think the world is over populated and think it's wrong to keep breeding at the rate we are. I hope they like and enjoy their lifestyle. They've chosen not to participate in something that gives many of us a lot of joy. I'm aware that there is a child hating segment of the child free but I'm fortunate not to know any of them. They do, however, have every right to be ticked off at us for our decision to breed as it impacts their quality of life too.
Sorry but we are breeders and non breeders and it needs to be put that way because we need to consider the ramifications of our decision to breed. Calling it breeding drives home that we each chose to increase the population of this planet. We owe everyone else something for that decision because we take more as a result so we need to be making decisions that reduce our footprint on the planet. It's been a while since I read this stat so it's probably changed but last I read, it would take 4 earths to bring everyone in the world up to the standard of living in the United States. The truth is the more of us there are, the worse our children's standard of living will be and their children's even worse. Sometimes I think the people who choose not to have children are the ones who got it right.
As I said, having children has got to be the single most selfish and self serving thing I have ever done in my life. There isn't an altruistic thing about it.
I think it probably boils down to whether the person wants kids or not. I would imagine that not having kids in order to save the planet occurs at about the same rate that someone has a kid in hopes that he or she will grow up to cure cancer. Some people have crummy childhoods and don't want to have children as a result, while others have great childhoods and want to have children as a result. Some like kids, some don't. "For the good of mankind" rarely enters into decisions most people make, at least not initially. Personal beliefs and satisfaction loom much larger in most people's consciousness. You don't see many people committing suicide for the good of the planet, after all.
Regardless of their reasons, they aren't over populating the earth like us breeders. Their decision to not have children makes more room for ours so we should be saying thank you....
I'm sure there are other reasons to be child free but the child free couples I know are child free because they either think this world sucks and we shoudln't be bringing kids into it or they think the world is over populated and think it's wrong to keep breeding at the rate we are. I hope they like and enjoy their lifestyle. They've chosen not to participate in something that gives many of us a lot of joy. I'm aware that there is a child hating segment of the child free but I'm fortunate not to know any of them. They do, however, have every right to be ticked off at us for our decision to breed as it impacts their quality of life too.
Sorry but we are breeders and non breeders and it needs to be put that way because we need to consider the ramifications of our decision to breed. Calling it breeding drives home that we each chose to increase the population of this planet. We owe everyone else something for that decision because we take more as a result so we need to be making decisions that reduce our footprint on the planet. It's been a while since I read this stat so it's probably changed but last I read, it would take 4 earths to bring everyone in the world up to the standard of living in the United States. The truth is the more of us there are, the worse our children's standard of living will be and their children's even worse. Sometimes I think the people who choose not to have children are the ones who got it right.
As I said, having children has got to be the single most selfish and self serving thing I have ever done in my life. There isn't an altruistic thing about it.
Please feel free to refer to yourself as a breeder. I prefer to be called a non-pejorative term like say.... parent. Just as the childfree take exception to being called childless (as in less than) most of us parents find the term breeder offensive. Take a look at the definition from the Urban Dictionary below if you aren't clear on what people mean when they call someone a "breeder".
And perhaps your circle of childfree friends are the most altruistic people on the planet. Or perhaps some are just saying what they perceive to be the least selfish reason not to have kids. "I'm saving the planet" plays a whole lot better than "I'm too selfish to put anyone's needs ahead of my own" or "I just don't like kids".
Breeder
1: slang term used by some childfree people for one who has a child and/or has many after that, refuses to discipline the child/ren, thinks the sun rises and sets for their child/ren, look down upon people who do not have children, and are in general very selfish and greedy when it comes to their whims and those of their child/ren, especially if they can use their parenthood status or their children as an excuse to get their way. A female breeder is commonly called a moo, and a male breeder a duh.
2: slang term used by people of homosexual persuasion to refer to heterosexual couples, who have a significantly higher risk of contributing to the population increase than the homosexuals do.
Breeding. Really? Creating a living, breathing, soul-filled human life is breeding?
I'll pass on using that term.
Last edited by DewDropInn; 10-09-2011 at 07:13 PM..
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I agree with you Sir
