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Honestly, I think alot of people have kids because they think "that's what their supposed to do". The whole psychology within our society is still a driving force, although it's slowly coming apart and being re-shaped. As a human being we feel the primal need to reproduce ourselves for survival. I had a few years of driving desire to have a child but then it passed and my DH and I pretty much decided and were just fine with having no kids - we headed down the road of being childfree. A few years later, much to our surprise, I got pregnant at 40 I was freaked because I really wasn't sure I wanted a child but I now have my 3 year old son and it's the coolest thing My life has been enriched by his arrival and my entire paradigm on life shifted. Has it been happy happy joy joy the whole time - of course not. There were/are many times where I think of just being "free" but then he hugs me or does something silly and I totally absorb his joy knowing that soon enough he'll be on his way out into this world. If someone doesn't want to have kids that's fine by me - at least they have identified their limits and are honest enough to make the right decision for themselves regardless of what the world says.
most people dont have kids so they can be taken care of later in life. i mean i just dont know anyone who said yes lets have a baby so she/he will take care of us when we are old.
and the second thing you said is completely idiotic. the human body shuts down and things cant be controlled. do you think people want to become that way?! and when they eventually do, what should they do? commit suicide? "why would you want to live"--i mean what kind of statement is that?! and they are not purposely putting the burden on someone else! that is life for goodness sake.
if you feel that way, maybe you should start making plans for yourself as you get older.
I never said most people had kids to take care of them my comment was in relation to previous comments on said topic. I do have a plan go to a country with assisted suicide. When your to the point where you need to be cared for that is not living your basically dead already. Never said it is on purpose to put that burden on someone what I said is to expect a child to take care of you when your older is idiotic and cruel.
what I said is to expect a child to take care of you when your older is idiotic and cruel.
No love for old folks, eh?
So you rather be your own caregiver even when you're unable to care for yourself? Good luck with that, should you live to that age. Even assisted suicide require help. Someone else' children has to help you "take care" of that.
I think it is completely idiotic and cruel to have children so they can take care of you when you get older. Seriously if your crapping on yourself, do not remember who you are and eating through a feeding tube why would you want to live and why would you want to put that burden on someone else?
I have to respectfully disagree with you here. I have never run across anyone who had chidren in order to have a caretaker when they age.
As a caretaker to my grandmother who is almost 90, I was honored when she agreed to come live with me and my family. She loves us so much she wants to live her last years here, surrounded by the people that love her.
I am a little old fash.I always dreamed of having kids.My #1reason would be Bcuase they R truely a gift from God.I have 6 boys,and they have been nothing but wonderful from the 1st 2 the last.They bring purpose,&meaning 2 my life,they keep me going!I can't imagine life w/out them,I think it would B quite lonely. My other reas. R 2 carry on the fam. name,Cont. my bloodline, & 2 keep my race going.I believe that should B import.2 all people.Kids can be fun 2, making U feel old at times,yet keeping U young!
So you rather be your own caregiver even when you're unable to care for yourself? Good luck with that, should you live to that age. Even assisted suicide require help. Someone else' children has to help you "take care" of that.
Uh.. thats nice?
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart
I have to respectfully disagree with you here. I have never run across anyone who had chidren in order to have a caretaker when they age.
As a caretaker to my grandmother who is almost 90, I was honored when she agreed to come live with me and my family. She loves us so much she wants to live her last years here, surrounded by the people that love her.
This is what we believe families are about.
I don't know why people keep saying that I just pulled the you have children to take care of you when your older out my rear. I guess I'm the only person who decided to read the 8 pages.
I do not believe a human being is alive fully once they need to be taken care of. Thats not a life in my opinion a life is when you can care for yourself and live freely. I'm making this up? Then why do senior citizens have the highest suicide rate? Perhaps because they think the same way.
My grandma is 80 in a few months every single day she walks. My mom asked her if she wanted to live with her. She said what for? Met a guy who was in his 70s and he spent his days skateboarding,snowboarding etc. Thats how life should be when your that age doing things you normally would do if you were half the age.
Why do I think people have kids? It's a social thing people are bred thinking that you must have kids in order to complete your life goal. The urge is not biological instinct at all.
I have some friends who have a kid in the Olympics now. I think they have that same joy right now.
I think I would feel a mix of joy and terror. I've been watching the Olympics and thinking about how the parents must feel. It must be so anxiety-provoking to watch your child invest in years and years of training in preparation for just a few short moments of intense competition.
I don't know why people keep saying that I just pulled the you have children to take care of you when your older out my rear. I guess I'm the only person who decided to read the 8 pages.
I do not believe a human being is alive fully once they need to be taken care of. Thats not a life in my opinion a life is when you can care for yourself and live freely. I'm making this up? Then why do senior citizens have the highest suicide rate? Perhaps because they think the same way.
My grandma is 80 in a few months every single day she walks. My mom asked her if she wanted to live with her. She said what for? Met a guy who was in his 70s and he spent his days skateboarding,snowboarding etc. Thats how life should be when your that age doing things you normally would do if you were half the age.
Why do I think people have kids? It's a social thing people are bred thinking that you must have kids in order to complete your life goal. The urge is not biological instinct at all.
I quoted the entire text of your post so I am sorry if I misunderstood. Offending you was not the intention.
i really wasn't positive i wanted to have children. i thought for sure i did when i was a kid. the whole get married and have babies thing. then i got older and realized just how dysfunctional my life was and did i really want to take the chance my kid would be around the same kind of crap i was?! i knew i wanted a baby when i met my boyfriend. he had a daughter. i kept thinking, if i date this guy seriously...its kind of like having a kid myself. i mean, i'd have to take care of her, be responsible for her. i stayed with them for a week. she was only three at the time...quite a handful. still potty training. but at night i would put her to bed with her milk and we'd watch Antz or something til bedtime after i got done braiding her hair. i had a chance to feel all the cool things about having a kid before i really had to have one. we played, she would hug me and love on me...and i could teach her really neat things to say or funny faces to make. it took a lot of planning and a lot of soul searching, but about 2 yrs after that incident i finally gave my boyfriend the okay. we started trying to get pregnant. one of the first nights that i was up late with my son, i almost regretted it. he was screaming his head off and i didn't know how to make it stop. it wasn't that i was mad at him for crying, i was mad at myself because i wasn't a good enough parent yet how to make the problem go away. i started crying and almost had a breakdown. then the craziest thing happened. he stopped crying and just looked up at me. he started playing around and swinging his arms a little. like he was telling me, its okay. you don't have to be perfect. just love me.
and i do...every single day. its silly to have "buts" when you say how much you love your kids and you don't regret them. that seems contradictory. being a parent isn't for everyone. nothing wrong with that. i don't think that being a parent or not being a parent is something that needs to be forced on anyone. heck, i wish a lot of these idiots that ARE having kids would have gotten themselves fixed at 10!...but what can you do. parenthood is a great responsibility with more rewards than anything in life. but its a choice. just like having a career for some people. a career can be very challenging, but can also be very rewarding. i have never and will never regret the decision i made in life. the only regret i have is that i can't spend every second of the day with him.
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I was freaked because I really wasn't sure I wanted a child but I now have my 3 year old son and it's the coolest thing 
My life has been enriched by his arrival and my entire paradigm on life shifted. Has it been happy happy joy joy the whole time - of course not. There were/are many times where I think of just being "free" but then he hugs me or does something silly and I totally absorb his joy knowing that soon enough he'll be on his way out into this world. If someone doesn't want to have kids that's fine by me - at least they have identified their limits and are honest enough to make the right decision for themselves regardless of what the world says.
My children R an enormous blessing N my life
