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I think sometimes people change their minds. IF they find the right person it can change their mind. I didn't want kids and then I met my husabnd and that all changed. I was in my 30's and super happy with no kids- but who can resist the genetic question of what kind of 'being' would be created out of yourselves? It is super selfish and I did it. I don't regret it. All my friends have no kids because we weren't into that. I was the only one to verge off the path. I once in awhile wish I could party with them still, but seeing as how old I am I doubt I could keep up the way I used to anyway.
Just tell people to lay off because you are superior.
I think sometimes people change their minds. IF they find the right person it can change their mind.
Not necessarily...the right person for me didn't want kids either.
If you want kids, fine. If not, fine. But I think when you meet a potential partner you should just be yourself. Be honest with them about what you want out of life, you only get one chance so good luck on finding what makes you happiest.
I am a mom and I actually really respect people who choose not to have children. I love my daughter so much more than I could ever tell you all, but I have wanted children my whole life. I think it is responsible and we should respect people's choice in the matter. I have a problem with people having children and not wanting them.
I'm 19 going on to 20, and people harass me just because of my age. Whats the difference if someone is 19 or 29?
Are you looking to get married or settle down into a significant relationship at this time?
Take it from someone who is almost 50; adamantly CF since I was given the birds and bees talk; lived my youth when saying "I don't want kids" would practically get you locked up in the loony bin. Your CF status is not that important at this time of your life unless you find someone you feel ready to settle with for a significant period of time. From reading your threads; seeing statements like
Quote:
I really can't stand people who don't respect other people's decision when it comes between being a parent or wanting to stay childfree, whether they're young or old.
you have a damned big CF chip on your shoulder. You need to learn to chill out.
So what if you don't get "respect" for your non-childed orientation? It might p*ss you off, but how does it affect you? If it's your parents - well, parents typically have a pre-conceived (heh. sorry ) notion of the path they hope their kids take. Their plans rarely turn out to be the ones taken, but they'll just have to deal. Friends or bosses who razz you or are disbelieving? *shrug* So what? Girls you want to date? Well, make double-triple sure you keep yourself protected for sex until the time comes that you can take care of the birth control issue permanently. Many young women your age probably have the same erratic emotions on the issue of wanting kids as you do about not wanting them. At the end of your teens - early 20s - you aren't going to find a gaggle of young women who are totally sure.
Your hackles will probably get raised at people telling you this: you are young. I don't dispute your CF creds; people your age are CF - I know whereof I speak - though the numbers of those who are as self-aware of the issue as you are small. Consider that an affirmation of your status. But, with age comes an equanimity and humor about this issue. The most important thing is finding someone with the same mindset for a life or long-term partner. The opinions of all other people really don't matter when it comes to the larger parts of life.
Last edited by silverwing; 06-13-2008 at 10:57 PM..
I hate it when family members harp on me about havings kids, as if my life mission was to reproduce. I assure them each time that the human species is not going to go extinct any time soon.
I hate it when family members harp on me about havings kids, as if my life mission was to reproduce. I assure them each time that the human species is not going to go extinct any time soon.
So, what are they going to do (depending on your gender) - tie you down and impregnate you; force you to inseminate a partner?
I dunno. Maybe because I'm of an age where getting a colonoscopy is more a concern than birth control, and I'm past my youth when people were more passionate about the issue. All I can advise the young people who have made the decision about having kids: the anger, the hackles about what people say to you, will eventually pass. The most important person whose opinion will matter is the one you choose to spend your life with (or at least a significant number of years). Hopefully, that will happen for these CF youngsters; there are some people who aren't able to find life partners and stay single because they totally refuse to settle for anything other than a compatible, CF person. That prospect has to be entertained, but the choice to not have children is not as strange today as it was 30 years back. There are internet groups and real-life organizations that affirm and support the decision, so there is more hope for the young people who are committed to being childfree.
Are you looking to get married or settle down into a significant relationship at this time?
Take it from someone who is almost 50; adamantly CF since I was given the birds and bees talk; lived my youth when saying "I don't want kids" would practically get you locked up in the loony bin. Your CF status is not that important at this time of your life unless you find someone you feel ready to settle with for a significant period of time. From reading your threads; seeing statements like
you have a damned big CF chip on your shoulder. You need to learn to chill out.
So what if you don't get "respect" for your non-childed orientation? It might p*ss you off, but how does it affect you? If it's your parents - well, parents typically have a pre-conceived (heh. sorry ) notion of the path they hope their kids take. Their plans rarely turn out to be the ones taken, but they'll just have to deal. Friends or bosses who razz you or are disbelieving? *shrug* So what? Girls you want to date? Well, make double-triple sure you keep yourself protected for sex until the time comes that you can take care of the birth control issue permanently. Many young women your age probably have the same erratic emotions on the issue of wanting kids as you do about not wanting them. At the end of your teens - early 20s - you aren't going to find a gaggle of young women who are totally sure.
Your hackles will probably get raised at people telling you this: you are young. I don't dispute your CF creds; people your age are CF - I know whereof I speak - though the numbers of those who are as self-aware of the issue as you are small. Consider that an affirmation of your status. But, with age comes an equanimity and humor about this issue. The most important thing is finding someone with the same mindset for a life or long-term partner. The opinions of all other people really don't matter when it comes to the larger parts of life.
I'm not looking for a girlfriend at this time. But what I fear is that there won't be anymore childfree women left in the future. I could never tell if they're going to change their minds if they claim they never want kids, that would scare me if I was with a someone who did that.
I am married, male, and we are both in our early 30's. To me its not even something to discuss, we are not having kids now. We are both in college and generally poor.
I just get tired of the same stupid subject coming up all the time with an excuse of nothing other than "I want to be a grandma". As if that statement has any meaning. I told my mom to go freakin adopt one then if she wants one so bad. My wife is really rude about it now as she is tired of hearing it.
Some people just do not understand things, I am not here to live my life to reproduce, I am ehre to have a good time and enjoy life the way I want to, not how someone else wants to. It gets me irritated as heck to here "maybe I should have had another kid so he would have kids".
The people maing the commetns in the family can not even take care of themselves, they have crappy jobs and live poor, but yet advocate kid after kid for people. Freakin ridiculous.
Plus I had cancer, so reproducing for us is not as simple as it would be naturally, some people just do not get it or care to.
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) notion of the path they hope their kids take. Their plans rarely turn out to be the ones taken, but they'll just have to deal. Friends or bosses who razz you or are disbelieving? *shrug* So what? Girls you want to date? Well, make double-triple sure you keep yourself protected for sex until the time comes that you can take care of the birth control issue permanently. Many young women your age probably have the same erratic emotions on the issue of wanting kids as you do about not wanting them. At the end of your teens - early 20s - you aren't going to find a gaggle of young women who are totally sure. 