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I need some good advice on what to do about my 15 year old disabled daughter that is getting some bullying in school that has been bad but as of 3 days ago got real bad. My daughter is stuck in a wheel chair and has trouble getting around but does okay. The problem is ever since she started HS she has had a bullying problem, in particular a group of 4 girls she says make fun of her and are mean to her.
They have done things such as make fun of her, write nasty/mean things on her facebook, talked bad about her to a boy she liked etc. I have talked to the school and they always say they'll do something but they don't. Anyway it really all came to a head 3 days ago when during class when the teacher went out one of the girls grabbed her wheel chair and started wheeling her around the class room! She said many of the students started laughing and as expected was awful for her. She said it went on for about 5 minutes but she was too embarrassed to tell the teacher when she came back.
I was furious and talked to the school and as before they just said they'd "look into it". Which I guess means they don't care. She doesn't want to go back but I have had her go telling her to see if anything like that happens again. Now I am a single father, mother couldn't cope with her disability and left when she was 11. As a father if it were boys I would give them a talking to but being girls I know my options are limited and feel horrible for my daughter.
Call the cops and file a report. Be sure to let them know you have made the school aware and they aren't addressing the problem. If it continues, sue the school district. Keep a written journal of everything
Contact your local news media outlet. There's nothing worse to a school than negative press. You can also inform the principal or superintendent's office about all of these incidents and that if they aren't handled, you'll go to the press.
Yes I told to the principal and she said it was wrong and she would look into it, but she really didn't seem that concerned. At one point she even said "Well what happened was horrible but girls can be really mean to each other" as if she were making excuses.
Can someone give some insight as to why girls typically bully each other? I thought girls were usually good at just talking stuff out.
This is not just girls bullying each other. If your daughter is in a wheelchair; it's certainly not a level playing field and I would not tolerate it for one second.
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Originally Posted by skelaki
I'd be talking to an attorney and having the attorney send a letter to the school and the district office. It's amazing how action is taken when they get an attorney's letter. And, if they don't take care of the problem immediately, file a lawsuit big enough to get media attention on the schol and district.
Personally, I would also take my daughter out of that school. It does not sound like a good environment condusive to learning.
I would definitely talk to an attorney. An initial consult may be free. IF you just need advice and to perhaps write one letter - should not cost much. Does the Americans with Disabilities Act come into play here? I would think that putting hands on her wheelchair and wheeling her around the room qualifies as assault and I would be using those kinds of words to the principal.
And, yes, I would take her out too IF the school cannot keep her safe.
It's illegal to bully someone based on disability. You have to use that language and file a written complaint. Reiterate the previous concerns, like cyberbullying. Document all the instances in the letter.
Schools will push verbal complaints under the rug. Saying they will "look into it" means they won't do anything.
But schools do NOT like bullying complaints filed.
If the situation worsens, I would take her out of the school. I would not have my child attend a school that is not physically or emotionally safe - and if you need to send her to private school - you can make the school district pay for it, since they couldn't keep her safe. But all this has to be done in writing.
Talk to the parents first/now. It is possible they don't know their kids are doing this. I would then follow the rest of the above advice.
Be careful about this. Depends if you know them and how they may react. The school will bring the girls in to question them, one by one. If you talk to their parents, they will have a "heads up" and have a story. Don't let them strategize. Many parents will do anything/everything to protect their kids, even if they are lying and in denial.
Some parents also will not take it well and be defensive and do everything they can to protect their daughters, like turning accusations around on your daughter or you (ie saying you are harassing them).
FYI - there may be video of the incident, most schools have video cameras.
I'd also be careful about the media. Your daughter is 15, do you really want her to deal with that? If you go that route, I would definitely be prepared to leave that school and possibly move.
You can prevail here --- just be strategic and do it in writing.
Talking to the other girls parents isn't going to accomplish anything. While this is bullying, it really is a lot more then that, these are simply cold-hearted acts. Speaking as someone who would have been, in today's standards, a "mean girl" at that age, what I can tell you is that special needs students usually are off-limits when it comes to a bullies' targets. And actually someone can become a target because they were the ones mean to a special needs student. Picking on a special needs student goes beyond bullying and into simply being cold-hearted and a flat out disgusting human being who will likely develop a criminal lifestyle. So if these kids are doing that, they are already out their parents control, if their parents have tried to control them from the beginning.
Going to the police is a decent option, but even that's going to take a "look into it", too; since you are starting from scratch. I really think the media is your friend here.
I would ask your daughter how she would like to see it resolved, and let that be your guide. I wouldn't do anything that could cause her any further embarrassment. If she wants the girls to apologize, and leave her alone, then that should be the goal.
This you have control over. Fix her privacy options, de-friend any bullies.
Please don't send her back to school until this is resolved. School should send a home teacher in meanwhile.
THIS. Don't let your daughter be bullied anymore! Your a parent and you need to protect her from bullies.
If I were in your shoes, on Monday I would call the Principal and ask what they are doing, then let them know you will let the superintendent know about these incidents, and say you want the paperwork NOW for homeschooling and ask to talk to someone about that NOW. Call the counseling office if they hem and haw, call the district, etc. Don't just hope the problem will go away.
Let me tell you this, my sister was bullied for two years in high school and nothing was done, finally my parents took her to a better school and when the bullies tried to bully her outside of school the cops were called and eventually my sister had to get a restraining order against those psycho girls. It was unbelievable that girls could hate someone so much!
BTW I'd also look for advocate groups for your daughter in the area, google should help you. Probably even provide free counsel from reputable lawyers who work pro bono.
THIS. Don't let your daughter be bullied anymore! Your a parent and you need to protect her from bullies.
If I were in your shoes, on Monday I would call the Principal and ask what they are doing, then let them know you will let the superintendent know about these incidents, and say you want the paperwork NOW for homeschooling and ask to talk to someone about that NOW. Call the counseling office if they hem and haw, call the district, etc. Don't just hope the problem will go away.
Let me tell you this, my sister was bullied for two years in high school and nothing was done, finally my parents took her to a better school and when the bullies tried to bully her outside of school the cops were called and eventually my sister had to get a restraining order against those psycho girls. It was unbelievable that girls could hate someone so much!
BTW I'd also look for advocate groups for your daughter in the area, google should help you. Probably even provide free counsel from reputable lawyers who work pro bono.
WOW! How crazy. It may have to come to that, I am going to talk to the principal come monday. I feel so awful for her, she has been crying a lot and saying how much she hates those girls. They definitely must be particularly cold hearted for sure.
Thanks for all advice. I didn't realize girls could be so mean!
My daughter is 10 and she got the most worst cases at school. She is in the primary school and school did not care or listen about it. When it comes to bullies there is no difference between disable or not. Think the safety of your daughter first. As she is on a wheelchair don't wait till this mean girls push her from stair case. Fist make sure you write to the principal if she does not react or take an action find out where you can go for a help. As we in EU town hall taking a part as well there is a inspect team. Speaking girls wise 10 year old been very mean to my daughter. Calling names, criticizing her behind her back, steal her stuff when she is not school, throw garbage, cut her boots when she is in gym, cut her winter jacket apart.
This is what I did for my child :I took my daughter to a stand against bullies coaching project during whole summer. That gave her the courage to stand for her self take action on her own when no one help. Also I start giving self defense coaching in case if some one touch her. Now she knows to give the bully back what they ask for.
For the school: I complain once,twice, to the teacher as well gym teacher. Nothing happened I tried to talk to their parents as this kids were miners. For the parents was a surprise their kids never bullies. I wrote to the director at school also to the teacher. Nothing happened then I made a complain the inspect team then every one got exhausted and start asking me "why did not you say it is that bad" but they knew that they did not pay attention at all. I make every one responsible for their action. Teacher for not taking the action to prevent some one getting hurt and bullied, Director for not taking actions when he is the boss to entire primary school. They don't get paid for drinking coffee and gossiping. I let a lawyer to send bill for the boots as well winter jacket to the parents. Now my little one has peace at school. Girls can be very mean not matter what age are they now you know OP. Take the necessary action for your daughter. At least teach her to just go on the pink toe wheel chair will give enough pain for some time All the best OP.
There is a system that you can take more help for your daughter in US too I am sure.
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Now my little one has peace at school. Girls can be very mean not matter what age are they now you know OP. Take the necessary action for your daughter. At least teach her to just go on the pink toe wheel chair will give enough pain for some time
All the best OP.
