Disabled daughter getting bullied badly at school. (attorney, support, parents)
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Yeah, girls can be mean to each other. That doesn't excuse their accountability, though.
I would be taking action on a variety of fronts if this was my daughter. I would also make sure I was teaching her about her right to stand up for herself and be assertive in situations where others attempt to take advantage of her.
Girls bully other girls because they have issues, usually stemming from something in their home lives, that make them feel bad about themselves. Often they are picked on by older siblings or by their parents. Bullying others is their attempt to make them feel better about themselves.
If the school won't address the problem and you've talked to the principal, go above the principal. He has a boss he has to answer to. Many school districts have an anti-bullying initiative and you can contact the people who run it and explain what your daughter is going through and ask for help.
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I'm especially concerned about the girls wheeling her around the room...that is horrible and should not happen. Your daughter needs to be brave enough to tell her teacher when something like that happens so it can be dealt with right away.
I agree, if your child is in special education go to the Director of Special Education, if not, go to the Director of Pupil Services or a similar person at Central Office. If they do not seem to care as much as you feel that they should care go to their boss the Superintendent of Schools. If that does not help contact a few school board members.
And, yes, your daughter should have told the teacher. We have always taught students, starting in early childhood and kindergarten that a person's wheelchair is an extension of their body and you should never touch their wheelchair unless they ask you to do it (such as asking for help going up a hill).
Personally, I think I would have a chat with the police services. It can't hurt to try. They might be able to arrange a nice police man/woman to go into the classroom and get his/her point across to let them know that this WILL NOT BE tolerated.
Your poor daughter. She not only has a physical disability so she can't retaliate against these beasts, but if this keeps up, she'll have emotional issues to deal with.
It doesn't matter who is worse...I don't think there is an answer there. An elementary school teacher did tell me, in her many years of experience, boys tend to get more physical and girls are more secretive/excluding/emotional. She also said girl feuds last a lot longer where boys tend to get it out and move on. That's what I experienced growing up as well, and what I have seen with my kids.
OP, you should know that in many states, assaulting a disabled person carries much more penalty then a typically abled person. I.e. an assault that might be charged as a misdemeanor could be charged as a felony. Or added charges. The principal is walking all over you. You need to let her know you are dead serious about getting this resolved. Your daughter shouldn't be subjected to abuse at school.
When I was in Jr. High, special needs kids were often picked on by the "popular" kids and everyone seemed to ignore it. I don't know what the deal was.
I need some good advice on what to do about my 15 year old disabled daughter that is getting some bullying in school that has been bad but as of 3 days ago got real bad. My daughter is stuck in a wheel chair and has trouble getting around but does okay. The problem is ever since she started HS she has had a bullying problem, in particular a group of 4 girls she says make fun of her and are mean to her.
They have done things such as make fun of her, write nasty/mean things on her facebook, talked bad about her to a boy she liked etc. I have talked to the school and they always say they'll do something but they don't. Anyway it really all came to a head 3 days ago when during class when the teacher went out one of the girls grabbed her wheel chair and started wheeling her around the class room! She said many of the students started laughing and as expected was awful for her. She said it went on for about 5 minutes but she was too embarrassed to tell the teacher when she came back.
I was furious and talked to the school and as before they just said they'd "look into it". Which I guess means they don't care. She doesn't want to go back but I have had her go telling her to see if anything like that happens again. Now I am a single father, mother couldn't cope with her disability and left when she was 11. As a father if it were boys I would give them a talking to but being girls I know my options are limited and feel horrible for my daughter.
Do what you have to do and don't let then get away with it. I would go to the Police first, since they put their hands on her wheel chair, which may qualify as assault. Then I would go to the school, tell them I have been to the Police, and demand that those responsible expelled for several days as an example to start with. I would tell them if they did not, I am going to the local News Media and a Lawyer, to make sure that the Public knows why I would be demanding a resignation for the Principal, and a lot of money from the school. Go after them with ruthless action, since That's all some folks understand.
I can't imagine how low someone has to be to be abusive to a person using a wheelchair. But to then push it to a physical assault (which is what happened when they wheeled her around without her permission). Whats next? Knock her out of her chair and take it for a joy ride? Mess with any other medical devices she may use? How much meaner can they get?
I would think there is likely a head "mean girl".
As for the boy/girl thing. From my memory we didn't have any purely physically disabled people in JR. High, but the special ed class was main streamed with us for lunch and in the same building as Jr. High (although they were all of Jr and high mixed together). And the "popular" boys were soooooooooo terrible to them. I never saw girls tormenting them, but I did see the boys doing it to the point of physical assault.
If your daughter has an IEP, you may be able to use it to force that clueless, ineffectual principal to do what she should (and is legally required to do). Does the school or school system have someone in charge of special education? Even though your daughter is mainstreamed, she has special needs which means that someone has had to create a specific plan for her education - find that someone and let them know what's going on. They should be your ally in putting a permanent end to such atrocious behavior.
The treatment your daughter suffered is absolutely inexcusable, as well as being illegal. Are there other disabled kids in her school? Talk with their parents, if so - see how their kids are being treated. Mentioning a potential class action lawsuit may move the principal off her duff.
Get the names of the girls who are tormenting your daughter. Call their parents if you can. They need to know what their little darlings have been doing. Don't let this slide by.
Also, if this is a public school, the superintendent and board of education should be informed. Nowadays, many public schools have active initiatives against bullying, particularly at the middle-school level. Bullying has been made very, very un-cool, and it's hip in most good schools to include kids with special needs in social circles as well as academic activities. I've seen accounts of many kids with Down syndrome being elected Homecoming or Prom King or Queen, and it wasn't done as mockery. It would be well for your daughter's school to learn by such schools' examples. What are they claiming to teach their students about inclusivity, anyway?
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