10 yr old refuses to wash hair (weigh, learning, music, students)
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He equivocates by saying he supports a patents right to refuse them for any reason....which is the same as saying he is.
I agree, that's anti-vax. I've been on a lot of vaccine message boards and people that start out "I'm not anti-vax but. . . " generally end up appearing very anti-vax.
Oh, well, I never was that crazy about Rosemond anyway.
Well we can debate that all day long, but I like what John Rosemond said--by age 3, a good child (I'm paraphrasing) should understand it's his/her job to pay attention to his parents, not the other way around.
In this article he states that children who are ahead in Kindergarten even out by 3rd grade so preschool is pointless, parents should never help with homework, and that letting a preschooler play with a tablet (even educational games) essentially causes brain damage.
Wow. Of course he feels all children should obey their parents without question. It's quite obvious he feels that all children should not be taught how to think. Dumb down the masses, make them easy to control. I guess, if that floats your boat.
You teach your kids how to be controlled, and I'll teach my kids how to control. Works for me.
Your the parent. She lives in your home. You make the rules. Kids can make their own rules when they are paying the bills and living on their own.
I also would not send her to her room. I bet that she has her own TV, Game System, internet, what ever else in there as well?
Until she wants to follow your rules I would put her to work. She can cook and clean. she can organize the book shelf. Have her do it again once it is done.
She is not your friend she is your daughter.
I think kids can make their own rules about some things well before then. Who would want to be so involved in their kids' lives that they dictated hairstyle, clothes, food choices, etc?
I stand by what I said last night; it may be time for a talk about the responsibilities of long hair. I don't agree with all this woo on here about how it's really unnecessary to wash one's hair. The "no-poo" link talked about using baking soda and vinegar instead of chemical shampoos! Both of those are chemicals too!
I think some type of compromise is in order.
As far as taking away some of her electronics, phone, etc, I agree that if you constantly do that and then give in a few days later the kid will learn you really don't mean it. However, it is OK to occasionally acknowledge that you were wrong.
What decisions are children allowed to make for themselves? NONE?
I have read your posts and you seem to think children should be allowed to rule the roost. Children need to be taught how to make decisions. You can not give them freedom to do what they want at 10 years old. That is insane.
You give your kids guidelines to live within. As they get older they are allowed more freedom. We expect our children to take care of cleaning them selves, including the hair. In our home boys have short hair. If they want to change that they can do it when they live on their own. As long as they live in our home they will keep their hair short. Our daughter will have presentable hair. She likes it long and we like it that way also.
What decisions do our kids make? They choose the books that they want to read as long as they are appropriate reading material. They choose what they want to eat for breakfast and lunch. They choose the kinds of activities that they want to participate in. Our youngest two are into TaiKwonDo. Our daughter is into cheer as well. They choose the clothes that they want to wear. We choose the kind of clothes that they are allowed to wear. Had one son that was getting into black and skulls. We felt that his type of dress didn't fit with the kind of atmosphere we want in our home. He had to choose other clothes options. We also did not approve of some of his friends. I don't see the need to have my kids hang out with emo kids that are into death and drugs.
Raising kids is like flying a kite. The kite can reach new heights only if it is tied to the ground. Kids also need to be grounded. They need to have a parent giving them direction so that they can reach new heights in their life.
I think kids can make their own rules about some things well before then. Who would want to be so involved in their kids' lives that they dictated hairstyle, clothes, food choices, etc?
We do that now and will not stop doing it. Boys in our home, and we still have 4 boys at home, will have short hair. All of our kids get the same haircut, a 1 on the sides and short on the top, it is stylish. Our daughter has nicely styled long hair. Girls hair should be long or at least shoulder length. We prefer it that way anyway. Clothes should not be a distraction. Our kids wear stylish clothes but they are not offensive and as long as they live in our home their clothes will reflect that. Food choices? Our kids can choose what they want to eat for breakfast and lunch. Dinner time though is family time. Who has the time to prepare a seperate meal for everyone? we have five kids at home, I could not imagine making 7 differant meals.
We do that now and will not stop doing it. Boys in our home, and we still have 4 boys at home, will have short hair. All of our kids get the same haircut, a 1 on the sides and short on the top, it is stylish. Our daughter has nicely styled long hair. Girls hair should be long or at least shoulder length. We prefer it that way anyway. Clothes should not be a distraction. Our kids wear stylish clothes but they are not offensive and as long as they live in our home their clothes will reflect that. Food choices? Our kids can choose what they want to eat for breakfast and lunch. Dinner time though is family time. Who has the time to prepare a seperate meal for everyone? we have five kids at home, I could not imagine making 7 differant meals.
How old are your kids?
What would happen if one of the boys wanted to grow his hair a little longer? Or if your daughter wanted a chin-length bob? Is there any discussion at all?
What if your 16-year-old daughter saved up her money and got herself a stylish pixie cut without asking your permission? Would you punish her?
I have read your posts and you seem to think children should be allowed to rule the roost. Children need to be taught how to make decisions. You can not give them freedom to do what they want at 10 years old. That is insane.
You give your kids guidelines to live within. As they get older they are allowed more freedom. We expect our children to take care of cleaning them selves, including the hair. In our home boys have short hair. If they want to change that they can do it when they live on their own. As long as they live in our home they will keep their hair short. Our daughter will have presentable hair. She likes it long and we like it that way also.
What decisions do our kids make? They choose the books that they want to read as long as they are appropriate reading material. They choose what they want to eat for breakfast and lunch. They choose the kinds of activities that they want to participate in. Our youngest two are into TaiKwonDo. Our daughter is into cheer as well. They choose the clothes that they want to wear. We choose the kind of clothes that they are allowed to wear. Had one son that was getting into black and skulls. We felt that his type of dress didn't fit with the kind of atmosphere we want in our home. He had to choose other clothes options. We also did not approve of some of his friends. I don't see the need to have my kids hang out with emo kids that are into death and drugs.
Raising kids is like flying a kite. The kite can reach new heights only if it is tied to the ground. Kids also need to be grounded. They need to have a parent giving them direction so that they can reach new heights in their life.
No, I think children have voices, valid opinions and have a right to be treated with the same respect I give other people.
My children both are well behaved, respectful and kind individuals. I may question myself from time to time but I am proud to call them my children.
My guidelines are pretty simple:
1. You do the chores I tell you to do.
2. Disagreement is allowed as long as you do it respectfully.
3. I treat you with the same respect you treat me with.
4. You are your own person just as I am my own person. We may not always agree with each other but that doesn't mean we don't love each other.
5. Homework and extra curriculars are non-negotiable.
What would happen if one of the boys wanted to grow his hair a little longer? Or if your daughter wanted a chin-length bob? Is there any discussion at all?
What if your 16-year-old daughter saved up her money and got herself a stylish pixie cut without asking your permission? Would you punish her?
we have kids 6 kids the oldest is 23 and he lives on his own. The others are from 17 down to 8. Our daughter is the youngest and she is 8. A couple of the boys at differant times wanted to grow their hair longer. Three of the boys never questioned it. One son is almost 18 and tells us when he needs a haircut. He has always had short hair. Our youngest two always like to get their hair cut. Our oldest son had never been into his appearence. The third son would prefer to let his hair grow down to his shoulders. My wife is Mexican and long hair is part of her families culture for girls, at least from what I have seen. Short hair for boys long hair for girls. I don't imagine my daughter ever wanting anything but long hair. It fits her to a T. She is in a competitive cheer team and long hair is the norm. When she was a little girl her hair went down to her bottom. My wife did have it cut to mid back
We wouldn't punish our daughter for getting a short hair cut. We don't imagine that she would ever want one. We would never pay for it.
In this article he states that children who are ahead in Kindergarten even out by 3rd grade so preschool is pointless, parents should never help with homework, and that letting a preschooler play with a tablet (even educational games) essentially causes brain damage.
Yes indeed, that's my man right there.
(1) Preschool--I had my kids in pre-K, but it was optional, and that's fine by me.
(2) Homework--darn right. It's the CHILD'S homework, not mine. I've got my things to do, they have theirs. We may live in the same house and have a close relationship, but we also have separate lives and interests. As he said, an "occasional assist" is fine, but that's it. Their homework shall not take over MY life--and yes, even if I have kids, it's still MY life, and yes, I had them INTENDING it to be that way.
(3) I'm not necessarily opposed to kids having a tablet with educational games, but they don't NEED one, and they sure as heck aren't getting their mittens on mine. Maybe, just maybe, they can have a $60 off-brand one from China while I have the latest model, maybe, but that's it, and when I decide they've had enough, it will be off, and they protest even a little, it's off to eBay with it immediately.
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