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My 10 yr old daughter has been refusing to wash her hair. She will shower and put a very small amount of shampoo on the top of her head and allow it to wash off. However, she refuses to actually wash her hair via rubbing the shampoo into her hair. As a result, the tope of her hair looks greasy and disgusting from the moment she steps out of the shower.
I asked my daughter why she likes her hair greasy. Response was 1) so her fine hair lays flatter than it already is and 2) it is easier to put into a bun for dance.
Last night I drew the line and insisted she re-wash her hair. She looked at me and calmly said 'no'. OMG. I told her she would lose her phone, kindle and TV. She said 'I don't care'. I sent her to her room. She didn't care.
She utterly refuses to wash her hair. Advice? Do I stubbornly continue to enforce the takeaways? Or give in under the idea of choosing my battles? This child is gifted in intelligence and normal in every other way. She's just brutally stubborn. BTW - I am a single parent so there's no backup to help me.
I'm a little confused. Does she shampoo her scalp but just not the length of her hair? How can it look greasy and disgusting when it is still wet? Have you tried alternatives? Like dry shampoo?
Personally this would be a battle that I would not get into. It's her hair and her body. If she likes it the way it is then so be it. She may decide as she gets older to do things differently due to peer pressure or whatever. Or she may keep her hair a little on the greasy side.
Last edited by MissTerri; 04-13-2015 at 08:28 AM..
My 10 yr old daughter has been refusing to wash her hair. She will shower and allow shampoo to wash through her scalp. However, she refuses to actually wash her hair. It looks greasy and disgusting from the moment she steps out of the shower.
I asked my daughter why she likes her hair greasy. Response was 1) so her fine hair lays flatter than it already is and 2) it is easier to put into a bun for dance.
Last night I drew the line and insisted she re-wash her hair. She looked at me and calmly said 'no'. OMG. I told her she would lose her phone, kindle and TV. She said 'I don't care'. I sent her to her room. She didn't care.
She utterly refuses to wash her hair. Advice? Do I stubbornly continue to enforce the takeaways? Or give in under the idea of choosing my battles? This child is gifted in intelligence and normal in every other way. She's just brutally stubborn. BTW - I am a single parent so there's no backup to help me.
If she only shampoos her scalp then have the rest of her hair cut off, problem solved.
No more greasy looking hair, no more having to lay flat, no more bun.
Don't give her any of her things back either, she may be gifted in intelligence but that does not give her a free pass to be a snit I don't care how "brutally stubborn" she is.
You as her parent had better learn how to be even more brutal and she is "brutally stubborn" because she has been allowed to be throughout her lifetime.
Treat her to a salon visit, and have the stylist teach her how to deal with her fine hair. This isn't one of those battles worth dying on a hill for, but it is unattractive. On the other hand, I keep reading that if you can stand to go without shampoo, within six months of not using it, your hair and scalp will be very healthy. I could never last 6 months.
As much as it would drive me insane, I'd probably ignore it. There is no health ramification to having greasy hair. Peer pressure will kick in when the other kids say ew, your hair looks gross, and the problem will solve itself.
If she only shampoos her scalp then have the rest of her hair cut off, problem solved.
No more greasy looking hair, no more having to lay flat, no more bun.
Don't give her any of her things back either, she may be gifted in intelligence but that does not give her a free pass to be a snit I don't care how "brutally stubborn" she is.
You as her parent had better learn how to be even more brutal and she is "brutally stubborn" because she has been allowed to be throughout her lifetime.
If her hair is truly disgusting rather than just a little greasy, than she is obviously not old enough to have the responsibility of long hair.
However, I agree with the other posters that as soon as her peers start telling her to wash her hair I suspect that she will start to do it better.
CSD, makes a good point that she may start to be brutally stubborn on other matters as well, such as bedtime, doing homework, etc.
Cut it off. Then she won't need to put it in a bun for dance. At 10, her talking back to me would be a big issue to nip in the bud before she hits puberty.
Have you heard of the "no poo" movement (as in, no shampoo)? It's a thing. Maybe you and your daughter could read up on that and experiment with some shampoo-alternatives. Or maybe you could even just find a different shampoo that she would prefer to the one you buy.
My husband hasn't used shampoo for years, just plain water, and feels that there is no difference for him.
Not a battle I would fight....and she probably has a point about it being easier for dance.
If she doesn't like her hair after washing maybe it's the shampoo and conditioner you are buying. It might be time to find one that works well for her hair type. Also there are styling priducts that coukd help. I note that you don't mention using a conditioner after washing....so if you aren't using one...now is the time to start.
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