Meet the kids before allowing? (babysit, baby, wife, chores)
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Maybe I watch too much NCIS or criminal minds but its very strange the mother only wants to meet the girls.
Maybe new girl was kidnapped years ago and conditioned to find other girls and judgemental mommy dearest is a kidnapper and a dude.
Interesting as there are a lot of mention of drama and making this a bigger thing than it has to. This is exactly why I didn't make it a big thing at home. They mentioned it, and expressed how they felt. I downsized it a bit and then ask them just to humor her. They just decided that Leah would hang out with her another time. They didn't even go to the mall and went elsewhere.
I get the feeling there's more to the story because Leah did make a comment about how the mother is at the school. I didn't push as again, I didn't want to make it bigger or more dramatic. Best just to nod and keep serving snacks and listen to their mile a minute chatting.
If this was my own daughter and her schoolmate, I would have been pushed to speak to the mother myself and make plans. I started this thread originally as I was trying to understand the issues that could be behind it as I never had issues with my own kids. (I am really lucky according to some posts in this thread, wow!)
Some parents are just like that.
I knew this one girl who had older parents, she also was the one of the youngest(had a twin brother).
Life was the same for both of them. Tiny twin beds in an immaculately clean room, zero televisions or electronics in their rooms.
Computer in the main area.
Her parents hovered around when we she had friends over.
Sleep overs could only be held at her place.
Her place included doing nothing, there wasn't much to do and sleeping on the floor because she only had a twin bed and she lived off a major road so there wasnt the option to go walk around the neighborhood. Never any snacks and the soda was for "the adults". There was never anything to play, it was not a teen friendly house.
Sleep overs at my house included chilling in my room or basement both had ample seating/places to sleep. We usually shared my bed(Queen) somehow. There was a tv plus computer in both my bedroom and the basement. Lots of snacks, food, soda, pizza etc. We played on the computer, watched movies, went for a walk, had game consoles, a plethora of stuff in the garage.
Plus my mom would check in every so often and we'd be all over the house, my mom just didnt feel the need the stalk me and my friends while I was in my own home.
The friendship didn't last long because of her parents she didnt fit into how our group dynamic was. We could do things she couldn't, see movies she couldn't, stay out later than her.
It didn't last long.
I actually think the last time we hung out with her was because her mom let her go to a movie with us and then texted her and told her part way through the movie she still had to be home by curfew. Well the movie wasnt going to get out in time for her curfew and I had actually paid to see it myself, regardless to say I refused to waste my money. The other friend there stayed with me. We finished watching it. It was the last 20 minutes, not long and we werent driving age yet (15) so we'd be with a parent shortly. No big, no need to get all arbitrary but that's all they were, arbitrary rules.
Since you aren't going to be there with the girls meeting you isn't the important part, making sure her daughter is actually gong to connect with other girls her age that the mom knows is the key. At 15 parents are gong to be less and less important when it comes to social interactions, but if my daughter were meeting up with a group I'd never met before I'd probably want to put names-to-faces and make sure they got a look at me as well! In fact, I'm pretty sure I did this sort of thing a lot since my daughter jumped around social groups as a teen.
Since you aren't going to be there with the girls meeting you isn't the important part, making sure her daughter is actually gong to connect with other girls her age that the mom knows is the key. At 15 parents are gong to be less and less important when it comes to social interactions, but if my daughter were meeting up with a group I'd never met before I'd probably want to put names-to-faces and make sure they got a look at me as well! In fact, I'm pretty sure I did this sort of thing a lot since my daughter jumped around social groups as a teen.
I think many parents do it,....but the way this mother is going about it is all wrong....and I don't blame the other girls for getting their back up over it.
Since you aren't going to be there with the girls meeting you isn't the important part, making sure her daughter is actually gong to connect with other girls her age that the mom knows is the key. At 15 parents are gong to be less and less important when it comes to social interactions, but if my daughter were meeting up with a group I'd never met before I'd probably want to put names-to-faces and make sure they got a look at me as well! In fact, I'm pretty sure I did this sort of thing a lot since my daughter jumped around social groups as a teen.
I totally agree with you.
Please see post 48. The girls cancelled meeting with the girl because they don't want to be judged. Leah, the friend of the girl will make her own plan to meet the girl one on one.
I don't see what life lesson was learned here except unwillingness to accept a new person into their clique.
I do see it as a "Blessing in Disguise" for the girl they chose not to meet.
Maybe someday this girl will be like Lady Gaga and be able to look back at this experience and laugh about it.
Please see post 48. The girls cancelled meeting with the girl because they don't want to be judged. Leah, the friend of the girl will make her own plan to meet the girl one on one.
I don't see what life lesson was learned here except unwillingness to accept a new person into their clique.
I do see it as a "Blessing in Disguise" for the girl they chose not to meet.
Maybe someday this girl will be like Lady Gaga and be able to look back at this experience and laugh about it.
Wow. I think this thread had definitely run its course if we are going to start bashing kids.
I'm not bashing kids..... I'm bashing PARENTS for allowing their children to be "Mean Girls" and that is exactly what is going on here. When your daughter is old enough to go for a job interview, are you going to allow her to back out because she MOST CERTAINLY WILL BE JUDGED by a prospective employer.
You've been here long enough to know that you should report this post to have it closed if you don't want to hear the other side of the story.
As I stated before, MY SONS WERE IN THAT GIRLS SHOES.
It was bad 15 years ago when I had to deal with kids like this, and it just keeps getting worse with time.
People don't have the ability of putting themselves in the other persons shoes and there's many prime examples of that here.
And I'll state again, no wonder our society lacks compassion and empathy.
I'm not bashing kids..... I'm bashing PARENTS for allowing their children to be "Mean Girls" and that is exactly what is going on here. When your daughter is old enough to go for a job interview, are you going to allow her to back out because she MOST CERTAINLY WILL BE JUDGED by a prospective employer.
You've been here long enough to know that you should report this post to have it closed if you don't want to hear the other side of the story.
As I stated before, MY SONS WERE IN THAT GIRLS SHOES.
It was bad 15 years ago when I had to deal with kids like this, and it just keeps getting worse with time.
People don't have the ability of putting themselves in the other persons shoes there's many prime examples of that here.
And I'll state again, no wonder our society lacks compassion and empathy.
How are they being mean girls? They didn't want to exclude the other girl...they aren't bullying her. They standing up to an adult not in authority over them.....and they did that politely even.
The judgmental mother is the one out of line here...it's one thing to want to meet your kids friends...it's another to have to judge them to be worthy to hang out with your child. This isn't a job interview..this isn't a compitition....it's some girls that wanted to go to the mall. They don't need another parent looking down her nose at them like pieces of meat.
I'm not bashing kids..... I'm bashing PARENTS for allowing their children to be "Mean Girls" and that is exactly what is going on here. When your daughter is old enough to go for a job interview, are you going to allow her to back out because she MOST CERTAINLY WILL BE JUDGED by a prospective employer.
You've been here long enough to know that you should report this post to have it closed if you don't want to hear the other side of the story.
As I stated before, MY SONS WERE IN THAT GIRLS SHOES.
It was bad 15 years ago when I had to deal with kids like this, and it just keeps getting worse with time.
People don't have the ability of putting themselves in the other persons shoes and there's many prime examples of that here.
And I'll state again, no wonder our society lacks compassion and empathy.
When you use words like cliques, mean girls, etc, it's most certainly bashing and judgemental. In fact, now I have utter clarity on how that mother might have been after reading your post. You are right, it was indeed a blessing in disguise.
I'm not bashing kids..... I'm bashing PARENTS for allowing their children to be "Mean Girls" and that is exactly what is going on here. When your daughter is old enough to go for a job interview, are you going to allow her to back out because she MOST CERTAINLY WILL BE JUDGED by a prospective employer.
You've been here long enough to know that you should report this post to have it closed if you don't want to hear the other side of the story.
As I stated before, MY SONS WERE IN THAT GIRLS SHOES.
It was bad 15 years ago when I had to deal with kids like this, and it just keeps getting worse with time.
People don't have the ability of putting themselves in the other persons shoes and there's many prime examples of that here.
And I'll state again, no wonder our society lacks compassion and empathy.
If your sons were in that girls shoes once before why didn't you take the hint and lighten up?
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Bashing kids?
